tweedman,
From what you describe, your WW being in a fog and such, it sounds as though she is infatuated with OM. In other words, she has fallen in love with OM. If such is the case, then right now OM is about the only thing on her mind, and she can't help that. Intellectually, she may know its wrong and she should stop. But, psychologically and biologically, it is very hard, if not impossible. She is like a smoker trying to quit. One day she may resolutely determine to end it, but then two or three days later, the urges are so strong, she's back in contact with him.
The good news with infatuations is that they naturally end. The brain can't keep producing the hormones that cause the infatuation, and the infatuation, and its associated feelings of romantic love, ends on its own. The bad news is that it usually takes about 6 months. So, if her infatuation began in April, look to around October for her to start coming out of the fog.
My recommended course of action is to be patient and implement a Plan A (described in articles on the MarriageBuilder site). Implementing Plan A, as well as exposure, are important, but they will not force an end to an infatuation. The infatuation has to run its course naturally. The purpose of Plan A and exposure is to motivate her to return to you once the infatuation wears off. Plan A tries to keep her attraction in you, even though she is now so into OM. Exposure instills a sense of guilt and shame, discourageing her from maintaining her beliefs and ideas about her fantasies over OM.
It is also important to rediscover yourself, as you are doing. Being self-confident, self assured and independent is much more attractive than demanding, complaining, preaching and clinging.
It sounds as though you are doing the right things. I agree with the others on the issue of exposure.
One further note - as long as WW is in a fog, MC is a waste of time. She'll go through the motions, but as long as OM is first in her mind, reconciling with you is not an issue with her.