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#2127860 09/15/08 09:21 PM
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hi i am new here and just wanted some advice i have been married for 30 years but 3 months ago cought my wife out talking on her mobile to someone after a long arguiment she said she had been talking to someone from work nothing in it only friends ? but she does have depression and other problems but i cant stop thinking about it i cant sleep i am awake all night and when i do go to sleep i dream about it all so now its been 3 months plus we moved away so she as no conntact with him anymore so tonight i asked if she loves me said yes but not in love with me not really sure what to do now call it a day or try to work it out

simon2008 #2127869 09/15/08 09:35 PM
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Yes she's used the magic words and it is pretty certain she's having an affair.

A 30 year marriage is worth saving.

You need to do some snooping to identify the other man.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127874 09/15/08 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Yes she's used the magic words and it is pretty certain she's having an affair.

A 30 year marriage is worth saving.

You need to do some snooping to identify the other man.

hi but she cant be having an affair now as we moved over 300 miles away and she also said it was just a frined only spoke on the phone

simon2008 #2127887 09/15/08 09:49 PM
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ILYBIMILWY.

That is as common a trait as any I have ever read about.

Snoop.

Prayers for you.

simon2008 #2127890 09/15/08 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by simon2008
hi but she cant be having an affair now as we moved over 300 miles away and she also said it was just a frined only spoke on the phone

ILYBINILWY is pretty much a 99% indicator that you are wrong.

SNOOP.

It isn't necessarily the same OM.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127895 09/15/08 09:59 PM
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hi bigkahuna can you explain what this mans below please

ILYBINILWY is pretty much a 99% indicator that you are wrong.

simon2008 #2127897 09/15/08 10:01 PM
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"I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" like what you said in your first post is a reliable predictor that your spouse is having an affair.

It's straight out of the wayward spouse handbook.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
simon2008 #2127898 09/15/08 10:02 PM
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I love you but Im not in love with you is what all the letters state.

Its a classic line a wayward spouse uses when something is not going right and theres a level of an A taking place.

I suggest you snoop on cell phone bills, credit card statements, is she going for long periods of time happy for a day or so here and there could mean OM came to visit.. Or it could be a totally different OM...


Married 1996
4 wonderful children 16, 13 *OC*, 10, 7
FWW 30's
FWH 30's
My dday 1-2007 he came clean to me

My story
New beginings
bigkahuna #2127899 09/15/08 10:03 PM
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Most BS's also can't believe their spouse is or could or would be having an affair either. The train just kinda drives you into the ground from nowhere.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127900 09/15/08 10:03 PM
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i will have it out with her again in the morning but she cant be seeing him now as its to far but she could of had one but i need to find out now if she as cheated on me

simon2008 #2127903 09/15/08 10:05 PM
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sorry for sounding thick but i dont know what om and bs mean

simon2008 #2127905 09/15/08 10:09 PM
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OM=Other Man
BS=Betrayed Spouse

There's a list here....


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127907 09/15/08 10:10 PM
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Big

I tried to do that, quick explain?? Thanks.

gabagool #2127911 09/15/08 10:14 PM
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thanks for the info now i know why i cant sleep and my gut feeling is never wrong but theres no way she can be seeing anyone now as she as no mobile phone and i keep a log of the house phone and i am always with her

gabagool #2127913 09/15/08 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by gabagool
Big

I tried to do that, quick explain?? Thanks.

How to post a link?

ok.

copy and past the link.

at the start of the link type a left square bracket with url= and after the link type a closing bracket (square one)

then type the text to highlight, then a left bracket then /url then a right hang bracket.

IF you quote my post, you will also see those codes in the reply box that comes up.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127915 09/15/08 10:24 PM
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Thanks K

I will give it a shot.

gabagool #2127917 09/15/08 10:28 PM
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i am not a happy bunny now if she as cheated on me thats the end i will get to the bottom of it today thanks for all the advice

simon2008 #2127918 09/15/08 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted by simon2008
thanks for the info now i know why i cant sleep and my gut feeling is never wrong but theres no way she can be seeing anyone now as she as no mobile phone and i keep a log of the house phone and i am always with her
\

It's highly unlikely she's part of the 1%.

Don't make any rash decisions.

Gather information.

No knee-jerk reactions you will most assuredly regret later.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #2127920 09/15/08 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Originally Posted by simon2008
thanks for the info now i know why i cant sleep and my gut feeling is never wrong but theres no way she can be seeing anyone now as she as no mobile phone and i keep a log of the house phone and i am always with her
\

It's highly unlikely she's part of the 1%.

Don't make any rash decisions.

Gather information.

No knee-jerk reactions you will most assuredly regret later.


hi did you get the message i sent?

simon2008 #2127925 09/15/08 10:41 PM
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bigkahuna_mb@yahoo.com.au is my email address. PM's are disabled here but you can send me an email.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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