Yes, an update IS due here now young lady....

I felt that slap all the way from here!

I didn't even see the post that Queenie made a week ago, as well as you, Mr. Guy, and Chai.

Thanks for digging the ole thread up.

My lawyer called late last week. She asked me if I was ready for her to draft up the Limited Divorce paperwork. I said yes. I told her that I was trying to settle the house 'stuff' before I started the paperwork, but I saw no harm in filing and serving the Z now, and settling the house 'stuff' over the remainder of the year.

It's a good thing. With every passing day, in a really nice, dark Plan D I am accepting the loss. More and more, I see how detached the Z was from me; how he ALWAYS had one foot out that door. I wanted recovery so badly that I tried with a spouse who really didn't want it, not really, not ever. That would require dealing with the pain of infidelity, to me, to his son and to himself.

I was in such disbelief that we couldn't make it work. I realize that only one of us was really TRYING to make it work, to be better than ever. Only one of us was being truly OPEN & HONEST. It was very difficult, but worth it. I have applied what I have learned with friends and family, and it is making for a better life for me. I am able to discuss heavy stuff with my sister and make amends where needed with family and friends (because I can put my foot square in my mouth sometimes).

I am able to love myself more, truly love myself, faults and all. I was so down on myself. I just saw fat, ugly, stoopid, angry, stoopid, stoopid, stoopid, when I looked in the mirror during the last three years. I see more of the girl I once was, and the woman that I've become when I take a gander these days. Somebody out there will want a woman like me. I'm not perfect, mind or body, but I'm great nonetheless.

Financially, it's rougher than rough. I'm hoping a move into a new, smaller place will alleviate some of that strain, but it won't happen until next year.

Living with my sis is really not so bad. I'm learning to communicate issues right away with her, so no resentment builds up. She is not earning much at her current job, no walk in clientelle to speak of, so she's looking for alternatives. I'm hoping by winter we are doing a bit better, financially.

Thanks for dragging me out from the depths of the board, Amigos. Lots to read in this one, so I hope it brings back some responses. There are days when I wish I lived closer to EVERYBODY, so that we could sit and chat over a glass o wine (or beer).

I read almost every day, but posting has been sporadic because I'm pretty busy at work. Love y'all!

Couldn't imagine living close to each other. We'd probably put our ex waywards names into a hat every Fri night, pull a name, and then pull some crazy a$$ prank on them while toasting the night away.

We'd be in a jail in less than a month

It would be kinda like the last episode of Seinfeld

I would probably take stock in toilet paper and eggs, because I AM that childish :RollieEyes:

Drunker papering of a house is the most fun, or so I've been told

Ok, I'd settle for getting together in a cold, deserted, remote corner of the earth to drink and laugh my booty off, far away from those that could fall prey to our evil, twisted, devious plotting. OR, get together on a tropical isle for beer and fruity drinks, whilst floating our days away in a pool or other clear source of water...

OOOOOrrrr, I'd settle for having you folks over for some brewskies and yap fest in my back yard on my deck, while I still have one.

Does trapping a handfull of possom's and letting them lose near STBX-WW's apartment count as a prank?

She's on the other side of town near some fields.. I -suppose- they could have gone that way..

Nope, that's just nature at it's best. You would have to get feed them a laxative and copious amounts of food, and then set them loose at STBX's home for it to count as a prank

SL,

Glad to see an update from you.


...I am 'visualizing' this....and it's soooooo comforting already!

I picture you saying this with the same control Tom Hanks used to tell Evelyn that she needs to work on hitting the cutoff man for next season in A League of Their Own.

The Kinder Gentler Jimmy Dugan


I think as far as Wayzilla and Cowgirl's WxH goes they don't really need our help so much.

I think you're right about those two, the Karma bus is not only running them down, but it's stopping, backing up, and rolling over them again and again.

My Plan D is so dark, I have absolutely NO idea what is going on in the Z's life AT ALL, so I have no idea if the Karma bus even goes to the Z's stop. I have a feeling he won't suffer much due to his infidelity. He'll get the money he needs for a comfortable existence from the equity in the house and he's all set with his visitation, child support, etc. Currently, DS SEEMS to be doing well--we'll see what happens as the years go by.

I just can't see how the Z will have any problems in his future. I suppose he has taken a financial hit, having to maintain his own household and paying child support, but it may be the lesser of two evils; it's easier than dealing with his betrayed spouse. Meh

SL,

Count me in for the glass of wine! I'd vote for flaming bags of poo on the WS's front porch, although I've t.p'd a few trees & houses in my day. Oh, and don't forget waxing the windows of the houses and cars!!

About the Z -

No, it's easier than facing HIMSELF. It may easier for NOW, but the day will come when he can no longer run or hide from the reality he has made his life. Remember, as you are so well protected in Plan B, you don't know what's going on with him. As I have learned with Drac, it's likely not the rosey life we imagine.

I'm glad to hear you are moving forward with the filing. It sounds to me as though you are well past ready for this. You will have some ups and downs with it, but will come out the other side in tact. Actually BETTER than that, as you wrote about yourself. Look at how you have improved your life and continue to do so,,,,along with the lives for those around you!

Have an outstanding day my friend!

Bumped for an update from SL.

SL????? Where are you????!!??

I knew I came to the right place for a good laugh...would love to be in the TP event...and James LOVE nature at it's best...



[censored] A$$ and yankees together drinkin...hummmm...

That might be a scary event...

Sorry for missing the BUMP de bump, James. I'm hangin out here and there.

I've been reminiscing on facebook with some old school pals, among other things.

Pretty busy at work, and since school started, in the evenings. DS started flag football yesterday--first practice with Coach Mike and Choach Chris. DS spent some time chasing bugs and wrestling with one of his teammates. Coach Chris rested the football on his nose and told him to keep his eye on the ball. It worked......for about 10 seconds. These guys are kinda serious, but lots of fun--they are jazzed about teaching these little guys. DS is the kid who doesn't really know anything about the sport, so they've got their hands full.

Anyway, all else is well. I am meeting my lawyer to pay the filing fee on Tuesday next; she finally contacted me with the completed paperwork. If I could be divorced tomorrow, that would be fine and dandy with me. I'm DUN! I saw the Z at practice yesterday, sitting about 20 feet away from me, and felt absolutely NADA. No twinges, no want, no desire, no anger, no sadness, no nothing. Indifference has set in. I never thought I would be okay with that, but I am.

I'm ready to move on, in all ways.

Then you are ahead of me. If I saw Wayzilla today I still would think about K-Bars and woodchippers.

Glad you updated SL.

It's just my nature. Once I turn on my heel, I am done. I gave it my all. I have no more reason to harbor anger--it really only hurts me. Also, let's remember, I've been at this for three years, on and off, so I really beat this thing into the ground. My friends all notice the changes.

*I* didn't f&*k things up. He did, and someday, he's going to look at me and know that he could have prevented all of this, and I will be long gone. It's a complete and utter shame, FOR HIM.

I've been walking a lot, and I feel tremendous. I've dropped 6 pounds (most of it weight that came on after starting the AD's), and am gonna keep on keepin on. I've got this hot little dress I wanna wear to my Christmas party, so I have a goal. Really, I want to be healthy--and my goal will help me shed pounds, of course, but more importantly, GAIN MUSCLE.

I almost feel like the weather changed and with it, the tide. I'm okay with everything now. I even welcome moving. It would be nice to start over in my own place. My future is bright. My family loves me, my friends love me. Life is good again. Now, financially, I'm still struggling, but things are picking up for my sis, so I think we'll be doing much better in a months time.

Yes we do!

Hi SL,

You sound you're doing GREAT!

Keep up the good work.

((((((((((((SL))))))))))))

I don't think I've felt this good in years.

Like I said, I have been at this fight for years, and had multiple false recoveries with a man who had multiple affairs--I was never a concern to him. My love bank account has been closed and I've moved to a competing branch. I extracted my OWN head from my OWN [censored] and am sittin pretty now (after washing off all of that excrement--bleh). Firm boundaries in place, and moving on.

I stuck to it as long as I could. I just have no more left in me for the Z. He's yesterday's news, as it should be in situations like mine. I wish I had the b@lls to have done it sooner, to be honest

The darkness has helped a great deal.

I'm so happy to read your update! I saw that you were out celebrating with a friend the other night, drinking champagne! I was SO jealous!!

I will tell you that I'm a bit jealous about this, too -
You sound great.

Yes, your friends love you Very Much!

Sounds like DS has some good guys for coaches. It can be an advantage to have a bit more serious set of coaches for the first time out, as they really want the boys to learn the game. I've seen soo many out there that cater to the kids too much and they end up learning nothing. At this age, as long as he has fun - that's all that matters!

The weather change here is also inspiring me to start walking again. I'll have to get moving to catch up with your 6lb loss! Good for you.

So, what's this spicy little dress look like??