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You believe God created the entire universe, but you don't think he can take care of your adultery, requiring you to take drastic action yourself? Jeez, you'd think a being who willed the cosmos into existence would get a little more credit from one of his followers...
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Honestly, I don't think it matters if there is another reason.
Doing the right thing is doing the right thing. If there are additional, less noble motivations for doing the right thing, the Holy Spirit will work to convict him of that, as well.
Duped? Hardly. It just doesn't matter. Should we tell him, "Don't do the right thing because your motives may not be pure. Keep on sinning until your reasons for not sinning are all good." ????????? Perfectly stated! Intro, yes I suppose it is possible that this guy has a new woman picked out. If that's the case, God will not bless that relationship either. But as far as I can see, we have no evidence of that, in fact not even a hint or clue (unless there are posts I have missed.) So, as with any other members, I am going by what I see, until otherwise enlightened. And the fact is, he has been living in adultery for 5 years, so I am glad he is ending it. As far as "Where was God when this began?" Well, unfortunately He was being pushed away so the OP and his partner in adultery could enjoy their sin. God does not FORCE His presence. But I have known of many cases where God spent years working on someone's heart until they finally repented and turned to Him. Hopefully that is the case here. If it's just an excuse to get involved with another off-limits partner, God will see right through that.
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The fact that I don't allow religion to cloud my judgement. TJ/ I think that's exactly what's happening. Doesn't matter though, it's obvious that any thread that mentions someones beliefs pretty much pushes your button for whatever reason. The pain comes through loud and clear. Have you looked at that? If this post bothers you so much, why post on it? Isn't that what you said about posting to suspected BA threads? /TJ Most Christians who are in blatant sin choose to ignore that sin... you know... just like a wayward chooses to ignore their vows to their betrayed spouse? Doesn't mean they can't repent and turn from their ways. Turning from their ways in this case would mean actually ending the marriage.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Ok....so, he gets married "in sin", but didn't think of the ramifications of it until now (when the time is convenient), and you guys are just going to jump on board and say "divorce is the right thing to do"?
I think he is a wayward in the making, but disguising himself as a "christian doing the right thing".
...and he has you all duped. I don't really think he can be a wayward, at least in his current "marriage", which is illegitimate in my opinion. Let's call it what it is...I like the term "affairage". Um...he didn't say he married her when she was married. I'm assuming she got divorced before marrying him. If it was illegitimate then why did God allow it to happen? Not that I want to start a religious debate, but God also allowed the Holocaust to happen. I personally view all marriages that start as affairs as illegitimate.
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And I would ask that those of you who come to a Christian website (and yes the Harleys say that it is), try and show some respect for Christian beliefs. It is disingenuous for you to come here and mock Christian beliefs. It's like going to a Chevrolet forum and belittling Chevys (only worse.)
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Honestly, I don't think it matters if there is another reason.
Doing the right thing is doing the right thing. If there are additional, less noble motivations for doing the right thing, the Holy Spirit will work to convict him of that, as well.
Duped? Hardly. It just doesn't matter. Should we tell him, "Don't do the right thing because your motives may not be pure. Keep on sinning until your reasons for not sinning are all good." ????????? Perfectly stated! Intro, yes I suppose it is possible that this guy has a new woman picked out. If that's the case, God will not bless that relationship either. But as far as I can see, we have no evidence of that, in fact not even a hint or clue (unless there are posts I have missed.) So, as with any other members, I am going by what I see, until otherwise enlightened. And the fact is, he has been living in adultery for 5 years, so I am glad he is ending it. As far as "Where was God when this began?" Well, unfortunately He was being pushed away so the OP and his partner in adultery could enjoy their sin. God does not FORCE His presence. But I have known of many cases where God spent years working on someone's heart until they finally repented and turned to Him. Hopefully that is the case here. If it's just an excuse to get involved with another off-limits partner, God will see right through that. Then why aren't we all divorced? Everyone here is either a "sinner" or is married to one. Why are any Christians even here if all of this is so cut and dry for you guys?
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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I personally view all marriages that start as affairs as illegitimate. We agree on this!
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And I would ask that those of you who come to a Christian website (and yes the Harleys say that it is), try and show some respect for Christian beliefs. It is disingenuous for you to come here and mock Christian beliefs. It's like going to a Chevrolet forum and belittling Chevys (only worse.) Thank you.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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And I would ask that those of you who come to a Christian website (and yes the Harleys say that it is), try and show some respect for Christian beliefs. It is disingenuous for you to come here and mock Christian beliefs. It's like going to a Chevrolet forum and belittling Chevys (only worse.) Did I mock Christianity in some way?
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The fact that I don't allow religion to cloud my judgement. TJ/ I think that's exactly what's happening. Doesn't matter though, it's obvious that any thread that mentions someones beliefs pretty much pushes your button for whatever reason. The pain comes through loud and clear. Have you looked at that? If this post bothers you so much, why post on it? Isn't that what you said about posting to suspected BA threads? /TJ Most Christians who are in blatant sin choose to ignore that sin... you know... just like a wayward chooses to ignore their vows to their betrayed spouse? Doesn't mean they can't repent and turn from their ways. Turning from their ways in this case would mean actually ending the marriage. I attend service on Sunday...doesn't mean that every person who claims "enlightenment" after being a sinner for 8 years is all of a sudden an honest person in my eyes. The guy is just using the ultimate excuse for leaving his wife, and has every Christian here cought...hook, line and sinker. Except me.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Honestly, I don't think it matters if there is another reason.
Doing the right thing is doing the right thing. If there are additional, less noble motivations for doing the right thing, the Holy Spirit will work to convict him of that, as well.
Duped? Hardly. It just doesn't matter. Should we tell him, "Don't do the right thing because your motives may not be pure. Keep on sinning until your reasons for not sinning are all good." ????????? Perfectly stated! Intro, yes I suppose it is possible that this guy has a new woman picked out. If that's the case, God will not bless that relationship either. But as far as I can see, we have no evidence of that, in fact not even a hint or clue (unless there are posts I have missed.) So, as with any other members, I am going by what I see, until otherwise enlightened. And the fact is, he has been living in adultery for 5 years, so I am glad he is ending it. As far as "Where was God when this began?" Well, unfortunately He was being pushed away so the OP and his partner in adultery could enjoy their sin. God does not FORCE His presence. But I have known of many cases where God spent years working on someone's heart until they finally repented and turned to Him. Hopefully that is the case here. If it's just an excuse to get involved with another off-limits partner, God will see right through that. Then why aren't we all divorced? Everyone here is either a "sinner" or is married to one. Why are any Christians even here if all of this is so cut and dry for you guys? I don't understand the question. We are here because we are fighting for our God-ordained marriages, which have been put in danger through poor decisions by one or both spouses. Yes, we are all sinners, but that doesn't mean we have completely surrendered to sin. We are striving to overcome.
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And I would ask that those of you who come to a Christian website (and yes the Harleys say that it is), try and show some respect for Christian beliefs. It is disingenuous for you to come here and mock Christian beliefs. It's like going to a Chevrolet forum and belittling Chevys (only worse.) Where did I mock Chrisianity? **edit** Thanks for nothing MB.
Last edited by Revera; 09/24/08 08:45 AM. Reason: profane
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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No, YOU did not. Introvert did.
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The fact that I don't allow religion to cloud my judgement. TJ/ I think that's exactly what's happening. Doesn't matter though, it's obvious that any thread that mentions someones beliefs pretty much pushes your button for whatever reason. The pain comes through loud and clear. Have you looked at that? If this post bothers you so much, why post on it? Isn't that what you said about posting to suspected BA threads? /TJ Most Christians who are in blatant sin choose to ignore that sin... you know... just like a wayward chooses to ignore their vows to their betrayed spouse? Doesn't mean they can't repent and turn from their ways. Turning from their ways in this case would mean actually ending the marriage. I attend service on Sunday...doesn't mean that every person who claims "enlightenment" after being a sinner for 8 years is all of a sudden an honest person in my eyes. The guy is just using the ultimate excuse for leaving his wife, and has every Christian here cought...hook, line and sinker. Except me. Wow, Intro, aren't you special?! The exception to every rule! How'd ya get so much smarter than the rest of us mere mortals?
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This topic was briefly discussed in the last Divorcecare meeting I attended. It was said that God hates divorce and that even if the marriage had this kind of beginning, it should be saved.
I am not sure that I agree with that, I am undecided.
BUT, I do think that OP and his wife need to ask her exH what amends they need to make to him. The exH is the victim here, he is the one who was wronged.
If the OP and his wife have not made amends to their victim, then it does sound like self serving whining. IMO
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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I attend service on Sunday...doesn't mean that every person who claims "enlightenment" after being a sinner for 8 years is all of a sudden an honest person in my eyes.
The guy is just using the ultimate excuse for leaving his wife, and has every Christian here cought...hook, line and sinker. Except me. I sincerely hope you're wrong Intro. I guess time will tell. If he's duping us, does it really matter? If he's not for real, maybe someone out there reading this in the same situation will get their question answered. Maybe that reader will be convicted to make things right in their own life.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Last edited by Revera; 09/24/08 08:50 AM. Reason: personal attack
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Please keep your posts helpful to the poster and stop the religious bashing. We don't want to have to lock this thread.
Thanks
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**edit**
old enough to not care what you think.
Last edited by Revera; 09/24/08 08:51 AM. Reason: removing quote from other poster
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