I am a Christian and met my wife when she was not a Christian. About a month into our friendship she told me she was married, I decided to ignore the fact and we commited adultary. She ended up leaving her husband for me and we married 3 years later. We've been married now for 5 years but with much guilt between us. She has since become a Christian but it does not change the fact how we met, what we did and the guilt we continually feel which leads to other marriage issues like distrust and fighting.

Lately I've been feeling like we should divorce because God did not join our marriage since we were marrying against Gods rules. The Bible clearly states over and over that leaving ones wife or husband to marry another is adultary, and I believe you keep commiting adultary as long as youre in that marriage, am I wrong to think this way?

Do we need to wash our hands clean of this marriage that started in total sin and lies so we can be clean in Gods eyes.

One example that keeps playing in my mind is someone who stole someone elses car, after stealing it he's sorry about it, repents before God and promises to never steal again, but yet he continues to drive the car daily.

Any advice or words of wisdom would be highly appreciated.

You'd better put on a crash helmet, Buddy.

Charlotte

Do you have kids?

I don't believe you can go wrong following the direct instructions of Jesus. My view is that, whether or not you choose to divorce, that for the two of you to have sex is adultery still, based on what Jesus said about adultery. I don't believe that His words were intended to give the adulterous spouse license to marry whomever they chose, even the A partner. Some here would disagree with this.

A similar problem was apparently faced by missionaries who took the gospel to faraway places where the men of the tribes often had multiple wives. When they chose to become Christians, these polygamous men would keep their first wife, the one recognized as their spouse in the eyes of heaven, and no longer have sex with their other wives. However, they would build them another house and continue to support them. They didn't just take it as an excuse to dump them completely, but took care of them in a non-sexual capacity.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear. I truly don't believe you can rid your lives of adultery while you are still intimate.

One final note, the story of David and Bathsheba is often used to sanction adulterous marriages. However, those who use it fail to point out that Bathsheba was far from David's first wife, so even with her husband dead, he had a number of other women he had already married. And also, that God calling David a man after His own heart doesn't mean He approved of David's marriages. Polygamy was not regarded as wrong in those dark times, and David lived up to the light he knew. Jesus came and set the record straight again.

I'm sorry for where you find yourself. Even though you chose it, it's not easy to face something like this honestly, and I admire your willingness to consider this.

Yes, your marriage is a continuation of the sin. The example of the stolen car is dead on!

No kids involved.

Thank you Neak and medc for your replys.

you are welcome. I admire you for being able to see the error of your ways.

You AND your wife have a debt to repay to her husband and I can assure you that unless it is settled, you will be turned over to the Judge hinself and he WILL hand you over to the jailer.

TC,

If you want to get a divorce then get one. But using "God" as a copout is utterly ridiculous. Grow a pair...tell your wife the "real" reason...tell us the "real" reason (if you have it in you)...then I'm sure some members here will give you some marriage advice.

I for one am not going to fall for this "God would want me to divorce" jargon. It's a load of bull.

Tell us the truth about why you want to leave your wife.

As a Christian, it makes perfect sense to me. It tells me he has a conscience and the Holy Spirit is convicting him. I think that's good news.

To the OP, I admire your desire to do the right thing. Thank God you do not have children with your partner in crime!

It makes sense to me as well.

Ok....so, he gets married "in sin", but didn't think of the ramifications of it until now (when the time is convenient), and you guys are just going to jump on board and say "divorce is the right thing to do"?

I think he is a wayward in the making, but disguising himself as a "christian doing the right thing".

...and he has you all duped.

And what's your basis for this judgment?

Honestly, I don't think it matters if there is another reason.

Doing the right thing is doing the right thing. If there are additional, less noble motivations for doing the right thing, the Holy Spirit will work to convict him of that, as well.

Duped? Hardly. It just doesn't matter. Should we tell him, "Don't do the right thing because your motives may not be pure. Keep on sinning until your reasons for not sinning are all good." ?????????

The fact that I don't allow religion to cloud my judgement.

Someone comes in here and says that they are in a 5 year long marriage and wants to end it, but just has to throw "god" into the mix to get you all behind him.

Where was "God" 8 years ago when he was screwing another man's wife? Where was "God" 5 years ago when he married his wife?

Seems a little too convenient to me that someone who claims to be a Christian would forget about God for 8 years, but use him as a reason to get a divorce......way too convenient.

But go ahead....don't ask him to get his wife here....don't ask him to try MB priciples....just toe the line....that's fine.

He's full of crap.

You call yourself a Christian after opening with this statement?

I can go stand in my garage and call myself a car but that doesn't make it true.

Until his wife comes here and says "he's 100% correct, and telling the whole truth...we should get divorced, and God is the reason behind it"....you guys are doing nothing but advocating a H to leave his wife on HIS TERMS...nothing to do with God.

There is another side to this story.

I don't really think he can be a wayward, at least in his current "marriage", which is illegitimate in my opinion.

Let's call it what it is...I like the term "affairage".

Um...he didn't say he married her when she was married. I'm assuming she got divorced before marrying him. If it was illegitimate then why did God allow it to happen?