Thanks for doing all the legwork Neak.

Therefore from this conclusion:

1. Split up. Tc99 was never married.
2. Mrs Tc99 cannot remarry?
3. What of Mr Tc99 and future marriage prospects as adulterer?

Comment?

She was having an affair with you. She is a wayward and was lying about him. Waywards change their history to suit their wants.




It called coveting, and lust.

I think there's a commandment about that somewhere.

Standard wayword fog babble.

If she never loved him, why did they get married?

Simple, she did love him, and then rewrote history after your affair started. Just like every other wayword.

Given your awnsers I see a few posabilities to resolve the problem.

1. If, for some strange reason the X-husband still wants her back. Incourage her to return to him and divorce her. Do everything you can to restore the mairrage you destroyed.

2. If the X-Husaband does not want her back. Both of you should find him and grovel and plea for his forgivness. Ask for his blessing in renewing your vows and have a recommitment ceramony with his blessing. (Not likley that a betrayed spouce would bless anything for his adultourouse former spouce, but try anyway) This may wash away your guilt, and restart the mairrage under better circimstances.

3. If the X-husband does not want her back, and will not forgive you and give you his blessing. Stay married to her and try the best you can to make the abomination that you created work. Stay with her forever or untill she eventually cheats on you, leaves you for another man, and divorces you. This is the price you should pay for what has been done.

4. (And this is my advice to all adulturers) If you want to undo the completly conciouse long term choices you have made, Build a time machine.

Impossable?????

Well her husband probably thought it was impossable for his wife to leave him and divorce him to marrie her affair partner, but it happened. You helped make the impossable happen once, do it again.

What denom are you?

If you're Catholic, you're not married.

Catholic's can't marry in the church w/o an annullment so even if the JP says you're married, you're not.

Real simple for us Catholics.

Not Catholic.

I agree with Introvert - we are all being scammed by an unrepentent adulterer. He was a Christian and just couldn't help himself. The other man's wife was too beautiful. So he put God out of his life and followed his earthly desires.

And he bought the cow. Apparently he was happy for a time, but as soon as he got unhappy about his wife comparing him to her ex, he suddenly remembered God. I don't call that conviction of the Holy Spirit.

Affair marriages never last, and our poster has hit that wall.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

TC...there are some here that understand where you are coming from and I think it is great that you have been moved to recognize your errors.

The same people that attack you here...like the one quoted above...go out of their way to accept a FWS. Well... you are trying to do the right thing ...just like a FWS ...and you are looking for direction. Pay no heed to these people and use the IGNORE feature as needed(click on the persons name and ignore this user).

The last thing that I can add is that I was always under the belief that God forgives and we were good. It wasnt until recently that God started opening both my wifes and my eyes and realizing that its not the case, he does forgive but we must also make changes.

The verbal abuse is no big deal, those are spats and after reading some of Dr. Henry Clouds books I realize that we made many little mistakes that most couples make during their marriage, those things can be fixed, the guilt that we continue to feel cannot.

I am truley ashamed for what I did and have always wished to turn back time and talk some sense to that young kid who thought he knew better.

TC

I know you and your wife have "opened" your eyes to see how your M came too. Yes if you can get forgiveness from the ex would be a great thing but I am sure that is unlikely especially if your W and him parted on bad terms.

Being seperated you have heard G-D talk to you over many times and telling you whats deep in your heart. And you know by any faith you should follow what is given to you. Only you will have to pick which road to take.

The road to repetance *sorry if spelling is off* or the road to keep a M that wasnt sought right by G-D.

God does forgive, but you where not good.

Brings us back to #4
Sorry, I just get tired of the "I wish I could go back and undo what I have done" line.

You are correct.
How young where you?
How young was she?
How did you meet?
Where you in a relationship at the time?

And the funnest one of all, did you know her X-husband?

Then whats the problem? Sounds like you two love birds have everything it takes to make it work! Take on the world, buck the system, dont listen to anyone, you guys have "true love" to guide you.

I know pleanty of athiests who manage to stay out of an affair with a married woman. They dont know god at all, so how do they mannage?









Ok, I'm gonna give you my honest advise. I have a rather simplistic view of religion and marriage, everyones belifes are diferent.



God hates adultery, but that one has already been done, you and your wife cant undo that.

God hates divorce, you and your wife have already destroyed her first marriage and caused her divorce. You cant undo that, and I doubt the X-husband would want her back now. (but find out)

But that doesn't change the fact that God still hates divorce. And wile you both may be responsible for the distruction of her first marriage, YOU are now Married to each other..........

You screwed up, you cant change that. What you can do is spend the rest of your life trying to keep your marriage from ending in that same thing that god hates..... Divorce.
Read some books, get some counseling, talk to your paster/preist/etc

Thats just my opinion

Has anyone ever read about David in the Bible?

David was OBEDIENT.

THAT is why he was a man after God's own heart.

Cars are not people and cars don't marry anyone. People are not property, they are created in the image of God. Poor analogy, in my humble opinion.

There is a problem with stealing just as there is with adultery...they are both sins and contrary to God's perfect law.

That said, God also knows that NONE of us is perfect nor capable of being perfect, hence the need for Jesus Christ to BE the perfect substitutionary sacrifice that "paid the price" that was due us.

So, as a believer, what do you think God means when He tells you that all who have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior means?

What do you think about the idea that ONE sin constitutes "being guilty of breaking all the commandments" and guilty before the Lord, with the sentence of eternal separation from God already pronounced upon anyone who IS a sinner?

What do you think about the idea that ONE man paid the price for all sin required as the just penalty for sin? What makes the difference between being a forgiven sinner and an unforgiven sinner?

Someone mentioned David (yes, it gets brought up quite frequently). The penalty prescribed by the law in David's time was DEATH, no appeal. In addition, David was also guilty of murder (Uriah). Upon David's repentance (a turning away from the SIN, not from Bathsheba), what did God, the one true and just Judge say to David?

But David also had to live with the earthly consequences of his sin, and DIVORCE was not the "answer" to his problems.

What do you think WAS David's answer to his problems and why did God give David and Bathsheba a son called Solomon?

While you are thinking about that, let me also ask you about what Jesus told the seven brothers who married the same woman. How might that have application to God's perspective on marriage?

Then there is also the ever present discussion that Jesus had with the Pharisees concerning Divorce, and His clarification of the "grounds for divorce." And please, don't forget that you ARE married, regardless of how the marriage began.

And while we are "playing catch-up" with the discussion, what do you think was Jesus' "point" in the parable of the Good Samaritan and WHY do you think all the other "good Jews" refused to help or touch the victim?

Just a few things to think about.

If you'd like to kick these ideas around some more, just post a response.

Sounds like the beginning of repentance and not just an "I'm sorry".

There is none but God who is good. Believing otherwise is just the sort of self-deception that Satan loves to use to get people to buy into His primary lie...."God didn't REALLY mean what He said, did He?"

If God IS Truth, and speaks truthfully, what you think Satan is saying about God, that we seem to so readily accept as a "better truth?"

"he does forgive but we must also make changes."

Positive changes from a truly repentant and changed heart are good. Just don't confuse this with some sort of need for you to do something to "earn" God's forgiveness rather than as a response from a grateful heart for already BEING forgiven.

God bless.

Maybe not the BEST example but the point I'm trying to make is how can God forgive our sin if we keep living in it? Are you saying that it was adultery only the first time we crossed the line or EVERY time we engage in sex?


Repentance and a change in their life.



Did God give them a son or did they selfishly go out and make this kid themselves under sin? If I go and sleep with a prostitute and she gets pregnant, is it God thats blessing us with a child?


Not sure what this has to do with my issue. The Sadducees were asking about who's wife she would be in heaven and Jesus told them there is no marriage in heaven.


Yes, I am married, married in sin. The Bible also speaks of marriage that should not happen, like the marriage between a mother and son, uncle and niece, same sex marriage, marriage to another mans wife. So if I can still find blessing in Gods eyes by staying in this marriage, so can the others? I'm not trying to be condescending, but these are the thoughts and ideas that are running through my mind.


Love your neighbor as yourself.

And why the others did not help or touch the victim could have been for a number of reasons. They did not love their neighbor, they viewed him as unclean or were sickened by his physical appearance. The Bible doesnt say, Jesus simply ended the story by saying go and do like the one who showed mercy.

Always remember that the story of David is not really applicable here as Uriah was killed. I KNOW that based on the law, David should have been killed...that was the law. I also KNOW that had Uriah not been murdered, David would NOT have been raising a child nor would he have been married to his rape victim.

If you are convicted to do something, you should do it.

medc - the child David fathered when he committed adultery with Bathsheba did not live. David mourned constantly for that child after it was born - then it died.

2 Samuel 12 (New International Version)

1 The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 "Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him."

5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."

7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'

11 "This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.' "

13 Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."
Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, [a] the son born to you will die."

15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

18 On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."

19 David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked.
"Yes," they replied, "he is dead."

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"

22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

24 Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved him; 25 and because the LORD loved him, he sent word through Nathan the prophet to name him Jedidiah. [b].................

______________________________________________________________

There were several things that went wrong in this story.....David was supposed to be out in the field with his troops but he had chosen to remain at home. David committed adultery. David had a man killed. David was not penitent. David thought the rich man should repay the poor man 4 times what he had stolen - and David had a number of sons to die.

According to the laws, the commander of troops could not lay with his wife while his troops were in the field. Therefore, Uriah did not go to his wife and sleep with her. Had he not been killed, he would have found out his wife had been with another man. His observance of the law thwarted David's plan to have him deceived.

I don't remember bringing up the child. My point about the story is that David would have NEVER married her had Uriah still been alive. It was brought up in this discussion even though I think it has no utility here. I am very familiar with the story.

According to the rabbi I recently heard deliver a lesson on this very incident, Uriah could not sleep with his wife - it was against the law for him to have done so. He WOULD HAVE KNOWN his wife had been with someone else.