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Just found out ExH married OW. She's young enough to be his DD!
Everyone who said it would never last was wrong...
Guess there was something there. I mean why would he have M'd her if he could have had the milk for free? He was living with her for almost 3 years already.
Obviously, he's one of the 3% of A's that don't end, and end up in M.
Just venting...
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Joined: May 2004
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Calm down. That milk tastes much worse when you are paying for it. Go on with your life so when the cow goes to be milked by another farmer, you will have the choice of what the future will bring.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Maybe he married her for cheaper health care premiums...?? Whatever the reason, they will have the same problems of most married couples and when one of them isn't "happy" anymore they know they can cheat and the other has no reason to complain.  SThere's no guarantee they will be happy just because they married. I don't know your story but since your exH is much older than OW her "love" might fizzle as he gets older and has to deal with health issue and the frequency of sex. There's still many, many years ahead of them to make each other miserable.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Yes, he is one of the LUCKY 3 percenters.
Of course, those same statistics say that there is a 75% chance that they will divorce within 5 years.
Are you making a good life for yourself and your kids?
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Yeah new wife is 17 years younger.
Doesn't he realize she cheated on her ExH, she could do it on him? Does he want to do the D thing all over again?
I honestly think he will make it work with her, just to prove eveyone wrong. DD says they act like teenageers, hugging and kissing constantly YUCK! (never did that with me!)
I kind of think he needs her $$ to float him financially, and she probably gave him an ultimatum and he had no choice.
Who knows? He still hasn't admitted to the A, do I think he'll tell me why he M'd?
Yeah I'm making as good a life as possible for my kids. As for me, having a hard time. Guess I never thought he'd do it and hope is gone.
BTW, he has yet to tell my DS. I just happened to find out by accident. Guess he's been M for awhile now, never told me.
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Cat, I've seen your posts over the last year, and I know what a tough time you have had with this. It's so hard to accept. Yes, he may very well be in the 3% of those that last, but please don't let it ruin your life. Concentrate on you and making a good life for you and your children. 
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Cat Must be the day for wedding announcements! Found out that my WH is marrying his OW next week.  And the kicker is that neither he (nor I) have received the final divorce decree.  I'll check in with my attorney tomorrow to find out the status. If he ends up committing bigamy on top of all the other crap he's done, I'll be  Anyway, don't concern yourself with whatever happens with your ex and his new "missus". More reason than ever to focus on moving on and making a great life yourself. Smartie
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I guess the 3 percenters are out there. Mine-Gray and OP-Slag were discussing the 3% thing early into the A.
They thought they were. I don't know if they still think that.
Slag is 18 years younger than Gray. There are only a couple of months or so that she's 17 years younger. So you and I have a bit in common. LOL!
Charlotte
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If he ends up committing bigamy on top of all the other crap he's done, I'll be Unbelievable. I've heard of fog, but this is pea soup. Wow. I think the foggier it is, the faster it clears.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Chai Pea soup is right. How I EVER hooked up with this man, I'll never know.  Have a good night--I'll be updating soon! Smartie
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I might spin it differently. The relationship began through cheating. Theory goes that affairees reach a point where they realize that if they can be cheated with, they can be cheated on. Could be the M is an act of paranoia where each one tries to lock in the relationship even though it is a ludicrous concept given that it began in a way they are now trying to avoid.
Rather than view this as the beginning of a new life for the happy couple, I tend to think it is the beginning of the end of the A. The milk will soon sour.
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Yeah, but aliens like sour milk. Did you ever see "Alien Nation?" And what if they churn the milk into butter? It does happen. Charlotte
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Yes I have seen it but also recognize that it is science fiction. Doesn't happen in the real world.
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Well, I have seen a few affairages last a long time. My old boss and is AP left their spouses (20+ years and 7 grown kids involved) and have been M now for over 15 years. They are well into their 60's now, so I really wonder if they regret what they did.
Some do last I guess.....
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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No question that some affairages do last. My bet is this particular one hasn't a chance.
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Nonsense. We read about aliens around here all of the time.
Charlotte
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If you had ever read my old thread you would know that my opinion of "alien" theory is that it is simply a coping behavior developed within the BS's fog.
More simply put, it is avoidance.
Anyway, I'll put money on this affairage not going the distant.
PayPal?
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If you had ever read my old thread you would know that my opinion of "alien" theory is that it is simply a coping behavior developed within the BS's fog.
More simply put, it is avoidance.
Anyway, I'll put money on this affairage not going the distant.
PayPal? Ha ha! I would have to study the history before I would agree to a wager. A coping mechanism? It's just a label. Good as any when a spouse's personality suddenly changes. Good as any for a spouse who is out of his or her mind with lust. I like it because putting my WS-Gray in that context made it easier to disengage. Just like on his end when he and Slag used my first initial to objectify me so they could heap their insults upon me and make themselves feel better about what they were doing. Charlotte
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I like it because putting my WS-Gray in that context made it easier to disengage. QED. That is exactly my point. Applying the label simply makes it easier for us to cope. We no longer have to try to explain anything or rationalize the A to ourselves. Our WS must be insane or they never would have had the A. While it may be a useful tool to deal with the initial shock, it is ultimately counterproductive to the process of recovering the M because it helps the BS overlook what might be some fundamental problems.
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I like it because putting my WS-Gray in that context made it easier to disengage. QED. That is exactly my point. Applying the label simply makes it easier for us to cope. We no longer have to try to explain anything or rationalize the A to ourselves. Our WS must be insane or they never would have had the A. While it may be a useful tool to deal with the initial shock, it is ultimately counterproductive to the process of recovering the M because it helps the BS overlook what might be some fundamental problems. Yeah, well, the label didn't prevent me from analyzing the events that led up to the A. I understand why it happened perfectly well. It also didn't prevent me from doing what I needed to do in Plan B and that was to disengage from Gray and purge him from my soul so I could get on with my life. I'm not sitting around waiting for him to come back, like some who are here in Plan B are. Charlotte
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