2sday...
I saw your other post on another thread and started thinking - this poor gal. Somebody better talk to her. I hope you don't mind.
You obviously care about your marriage or you wouldn't be here, right?
Well...here's the thing. He isn't here, but you
are, so you're going to have to concentrate on your
own actions rather than his
inaction. That's
his conscience. Not
yours.
Bottom line - do you think you're being the best wife you can be? Are you happy with your performance as a wife? Forget what he isn't doing. What about your
own opinion of yourself. Be honest. Are you just being stubborn? To what end? Are you satisfied with driving your marriage into the ground - just testing him to see how much he can stand? Digging your heels in? "How is that workin for ya?", as Dr. Phil would ask?
That other post - forget about it. They were talking about sex specifically. Your situation is your situation - something different.
I want you to do something today. Read the concepts here. Then print off the LB questionnaires for the husband and the wife. Fill yours in, and ask him to fill his in asap. If he won't, you can do it for him the best that you can and use it as a reference. You can always give him his and ask him to correct it. Hand him a red pen and let him go to town. Most people love to correct others.
Now...these are the things that each of you do that bother the other. This is not what you could do to please him or him, you. Get it? Your job is to eliminate these pi$$er offers from the relationship, at least from your end. Your objective here is a squeaky clean conscience. This is what you need to tackle first. Otherwise, it's like trying to fill a bucket with holes in it if you try to do anything else to please him before you take care of these nasty things.
And...if you think he's receptive, by all means each of you fill them out and exchange them and begin working on 'patching up those holes in your marriage.'
If you want to feel good about your marriage again, you really need to drop the apathy. It won't do. That's not what marriage is. Marriage requires some energy and input. It always has and it always will. Gone are the days of coasting on auto pilot. You have a child who needs their daddy around. Put their best interests at the forefront.
When those LBs have been eliminated from your end, then you're going to need to find out what his emotional needs are. Apparently, he wants you to lose weight.
Do you need to lose weight? Honestly? Are you mid range for your height and body structure? Find out. If you aren't - try this for a wake up call. Strip down to nothing and stand in front of the mirror. Then ask yourself if you'd be happy being married to you. It sounds like a mean thing to do to yourself, but I'm striving for a reality check here.
Weight effects on women If you need a weight loss buddy, let me know. I need to shed about 35 pounds, myself. I'm like you, and I don't look like I weight what I do, but I'm starting to worry about the things they talk about in that link that I provided above, and so should you.
