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Well, H and I are meeting tonight to finalize the conditions of our divorce. I hate this part. It is necessary, but that doesn't lessen the hurt. I want to be strong. But at the same time, I want to be vulnerable enough that he knows that this isn't what I really want. Basically, I want to let him know without being completely obvious and acting like a crazed stalker, that I would rather see him back in my life. At this point is is pretty clear that unless OW kicks<BR>him out, he will not recommit to our marriage, but stranger things have happened and I want him to know that until the actualy day we go to court, the door is still slightly ajar! Any ideas??<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>
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Hope for the seperated.<BR>and When the Vow breaks are good books that will help you with this<BR>Good Luck.
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Thanks, too bad I can't get to a bookstore before tonight! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>
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I don't have advice - wanted you to know I'm reading though and pulling for you. <P>Lori
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Rachel-<P>You are getting all kinds of suggestions from everyone here and the only one I can give you is make sure he knows how you really feel and what you would like to see happen. IMO, all the emotion and pain people go through when they experience this in their marriage makes "communicating" your true feelings hard and painful thing to do. In my situation we had so much difficulty "talking" and telling the other person their feelings without the anger and emotion getting in the way. You at least have an opportunity to tell him what you feel. It is your choice that he know and understand your feelings.<P>mr r
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camarinick,<BR> What about going there,looking your best?Maybe a particular dress that your H liked?Don't sound too angry with him,or it'll push him away further.Give him a small gift,and maybe tell him you still love him?Any other ideas? --Murph
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Before you sign anything, make sure it's what you want. You can decide the final points and still not sign yet. <P>I agree with Murph, wear his favorite dress, look YOUR BEST, and get the fact that you love him still and don't want this divorce somewhere in the conversation. Not clingy, just a statement of fact. <P>Good luck and I'm pulling for you!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>
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Good topic, as I too am beginning to have meetings with H about the divorce. The first one went fairly well, especially since it had been 9 months since I saw him. I looked my best and maintained my composure (well, most of the time). We didnt resolve much but came away feeling the ice had been broken. The only thing I got out of him was that this is what he really wants and he thinks it may just be something in him, not so much how our marriage was. He just needs to be free. Maybe he is feeling his mortality and wants to live unemcumbered by family. Whatever. I want to schedule another meeting soon to discuss his relationship with our son or lack thereof.<BR><BR>Good luck to you, this is a very hard time.
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No real advice, just thinking of you. <BR>-Annie
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Rachel,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Basically, I want to let him know without being completely obvious and acting like a crazed stalker, that I would rather see him back in my life.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You need to be completely obvious in what you want! Don’t play head games. Tell him!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>
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Well, it went ok last night. We talked for 2 1/2 hours about us, our jobs, our marriage or feelings. Then we spent the last 1/2 hour discussing the divorce. We signed the papers and I think that is when it hit home for me. He started to get teary and said that this was hard and then he hugged me for a long time. I did well.. I didn't cry until he hugged me. I made it clear what I wanted, and there is a part of him that wants that too, but it is too strong of a pull. So, we are continuing with this. Attorney will cal me today with a hearing date. Thanks to all for the advice...<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>
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Rachel,<BR> It must of been a rough night for you last night.Sorry things did'nt go better(no signing).How long is the waiting period where you're at? --Murph
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There is no waiting period. As long as you are separated, you can get divorced. The court date will be set for 4-6 weeks from now so I guess that is the "11th hour window". ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) (<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>
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