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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
J
joanP43 Offline OP
Junior Member
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J
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 16
Any encouragement from former Wayward Spouses that have made it through withdrawl would be greatly appreciated. I'm 6 days into NC.


messed things up
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 177
G
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 177
Hi Joan,

I sincerely hope that you are doing OK and are over the worst of being in NC. It is brave of you to post on a board like this.

One thing that struck me about your previous post was this:

Quote
I know I will be crucified by the readers of this discussion board. I have been having an affair for 4 years with an older man who is married that I met at work. I know I was wrong. But I wasn't happy, I'm always looking for more and I admit I wanted the attention and love this person wanted to give me. I've tried to end it so many times but I can't seem to live without him in my life. I'm going around and around on this merry go round and I want to jump off but I'm too scared that my ego cannot survive without this man.

I too am married and have been for almost 30 years. Please help me. I'm messed up I know

There is no "I'm sorry, but..." when it comes to adultery. You have to be sorry - full stop. "I'm sorry, but..." really means "I'm not actually sorry". I hear these kind of justifications and rationalizations from my adulterous wife all the time.

I know you have been married almost as long as I have been alive and feel like I should still respect my elders - please own total responsibility for your decisions.

I sincerely wish you the best with your recovery and hope that you have told your husband. I doubt that he would throw away 30 years of marriage with you but he will be angry and hurt for a long time. You owe it to him to tell the truth - your marriage will then survive and you can prevail as a couple.

Good luck


Me: 36
FWW: 36
1 son born in Dec 2009 - confirmed mine through DNA test
1 daughter born in Nov 2010
Together: 13 years
Married: 10 years

PA/EA: January 2008 to July 2009
FWW left for OM: 01/28/2008
FWW returned for 9 days: 04/2008
FWW returned 05/21/2008

......
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399
L
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L
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,399
Does your husband know, Joan?


Me (FWW): 45
BH: 46
M: 11/94
PA: 2/08 (4 mos)
Confessed: 10/08
DS10
DD8

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