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I hear you...but remember all of those good reasons are also allowing the status quo to become more and more of the norm. Judges are hesitant to upset the apple cart....IMHO, your lawyer is risking an awful lot. I agree.. though I'm seeing more and more what a calculated gamble it is. The payoff is already starting to fall into place TBH. I don't want to get too involved with the details online.. but everything that he's told me would happen so far, has... and it's just putting more points in my plus column.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Hi, I hear you about that mentality thing, but I think that I was worse when I was in the situation like you...waiting for court and something to happen...
I wanted it to all end and some level of normal to come back into the picture...we were out of the house, living in one room at some friends of mine for six months...once I finally gave in and started making the room my own...it all ended...court date set, and within a few weeks, we were back home...
I certainly wanted what I wanted then...but I have gotten better about it...so perhaps a little more patience is required for there to be more peace in your life with this behavior...
I personally am looking forward to hearing the $hit hits the fan when this all runs it's course...
it's all about the payoff in the long run anyway...it's just so darn hard getting through to it...and keeping your sanity...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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and keeping your sanity... You can't keep what you never had Rin!
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Amen and amen to that Rin..
And I've got many of you guys to thank in the keeping my sanity department.
I don't know what I would have done if I only had friends and family to rely on through this.. I certainly wouldn't have had the skills ot 'survive' this the way I did here.
Now it's just picking up the pieces and moving on.. which I'm having some success with, but yeah.. it's getting to the stage in all of this where I really just want it to be finished.
I'm not going to compromise what I and my son deserve to get it though.. and THAT is where she's got me wrong.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Hey there Beau... now be nice.. It's not her fault.. probably all the swamp gas
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Dam* C**NA$$... Just good for nut'tin! nut'tin, i told ya!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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I dunno Rin... been over a year now.. ain't even sure I'd know what to do with any sorta A$$ if I were to get it.. I think when I'm ready I'll just look lovingly at someone and say. be gentle..
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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It's the emoticons that really do it for you isn't it Foxy?
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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It's the emoticons that really do it for you isn't it Foxy? Yep I've heard that a picture is worth a thousand words. I could say alot, but the emoticon really does it better in this instance. I was watching "Survivor" the other night. And I saw a guy that for some reason reminded me of you. I don't even know why - I've never seen you but for some reason the image I have in my head of you fit with this guy. The tribe was standing outside their shelter doing yoga led by this guy. It was too funny. They were all in their underwear and doing all these stretches preparing for a competition. :crosseyedcrazy: The guy is bald. He's older than you are, I think, though. Now....I don't know if he brought his pigsnot with him or not, but instantly I thought "DANG! That's James!" Fox
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ROFL.. well.. one of these days I'll upload to the MB pics page. But if you're real curious you can always check out the band's myspace www.myspace.com/bornunderburdenI'm sure the music isn't for everyone, but it's my release and therapy.. Besides.. I'm just the bassplayer Been TiVo'ing the Survivor thing... haven't really had the desire to watch any of them though. I'm diggin Fringe though.. and the Mentalist
Last edited by Jamesus; 10/15/08 02:19 PM.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Besides.. I'm just the bassplayer So humble! Got an add/request in there from me!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Late to the discussion, as per usual these days, but this bit I realize that my biggest problem is that.. well, I'm a programmer and a problem solver.. it's what I do all day, every day. I'm a habitual person, and I like my routines.. just the way I'm wired I guess. Change isn't something I handle well.. I resist it probably more severely than most.
I can change myself.. reprogram myself, so long as the logic is sound. I've been able to analyze and see more clearly the flaws in my 'programmed' logic that I've operated under for a vast majority of my life.. at least the entirety of my dating/relationships, and I've worked very hard to 'reprogram' some of my thinking to cover those logical errors.
But honestly.. the 'output' I get from WW anymore just errors out completely, and it's frustrating because I -want- to understand.. I -want- to be able to process the interactions with someone I care so deeply about.. but the fact is, bad data in causes the whole system to go casters up.. is stuff that I certainly experience myself. It's almost like we need a daily (or hourly, sometimes) mantra "This is not my problem to solve." The crappy part about that is that, while it is not our problem to solve, it is our problem. It has been a huge lesson in humility and control and patience and life and stuff.
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Heh.. awesome, thanks Rin Honestly I'm just priviledged to be playing with such a great group of guys. Hey there Guy.. I'm totally with that mantra. I'm also a little suprised with myself tonight. DSD was in the van tonight.. she'd covered herself up with a blanket as if to hide from me. That kinda hurts.. but I was pretty proud of myself.. I chuckled and reached over and tickled her knee and said 'Hey there sweetheart.. love you.' and got a pleasant 'Hi' from under the blanket... finished buckling DS in and gave him a kiss and an ILY as well before heading back into the house. No scene tonight.. I know DSD has no reason to hide from me.. but it just tells me without a shadow of doubt that DSD knows something's wrong here.. and TBH.. I'm more worried about her relationship with her mother down the road.. but again.. like Guy said above.. it ain't mine to fix.. Doesn't stop me feeling horrible for DSD.. I just wish this was over...
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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So which one are you in the back ground pic? The music isnt bad, not exactly what I expected you to play tho Lil
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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I imagine they don't cover many James Taylor songs!
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Probably not, but I think it would be an interesting attempt Prolly end up sounding like something DD16 listens to. Most of it I can tolerate, I even like a fair bit, but the odd group here and there..... Is James Taylor what your into Medc?
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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my tastes run from classic rock to classical...to country...and contemporary. Just no rap or metal.
I love old Motown stuff too.
Last edited by medc; 10/16/08 12:04 AM.
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So which one are you in the back ground pic? The music isnt bad, not exactly what I expected you to play tho Lil Heh, I'm the bald guy Yeah, I'm sure it's not what many here would expect from me, and while the stuff that spins in my CD player is far more eclectic.. for example the CD that ran in the car on the way to work was a mix of about 10 albums worth of .mp3's ranging from jazz (Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Earthworks), Blues (Johnson, Clapton, Buddy Guy), and then there's a little Police, Peter Gabriel, Dave Matthews, Faith No More, Yes, King Crimson.. all the way to more modern 'metal' like Between the Buried and Me, A Perfect Murder, Deftones, Dillinger Escape Plan, Lamb of God.. I like a pretty broad range of music. I've often thought about doing the cover band gig and playing classic rock and standards, but the fact is that as a bassplayer most of that music just doesn't challenge me, wheras the stuff I write/play is quite a lot busier and complex. Suffice it to say, people generally really like it, or really don't like it, which I'm honestly fine with.. it's my collaborative art, and I like it, which is really all that matters to me. I'm sure if most people here can get past the genre, many BS's would identify with My Regret as part of dealing with the anger and feelings of hopelessness associated with betrayal. The funny thing is.. that song was written/recorded about 4 months before I got married. Oh... and BTW.. for the record.. at home I'm typically found on my acoustic guitar strumming out some Delta Blues, Jim Croche, Harry Chapin, Dave Matthews, Blind Melon, or Dylan covers
Last edited by Jamesus; 10/16/08 06:42 AM.
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