Here's the deal on the lacrosse. Queenie loves lacrosse, I love being involved.

In all honesty, tonight is when the membership will vote in a new by-laws. They are opening all the positions up effective immediately and if anyone wanted to be on the board they have 30 days to apply.

The job I am doing isn't a board position anymore so in essence they are getting rid of me.

However, by not going to the board meeting and resiging I am walking away first rather than being fired.

What does Queenie want, doesn't seem to be what is happening. i'm seeking G-d for his desires, but he is being a little quiet or the obvious is be a mom, stay to the side and take care of yourself instead of adding things to my plate.

But that's so hard for me. I really feel like I am being tempted by Satan, I just don't know what is the temptation.

Queenie

I don't know Queenie. Sometimes I read your thread and I think God must have something really really big to do in your life that satan is so interested in interferring with it.

How can I bst pray for you?

Dayenu...

Isn't that really enough?

What would Moses have become if not for his mother?

You can't help others if you don't take care of yourself.

Why did God bless Israel?

To make the nations jealous. To show the whole world what was possible if you just follow Him.

It's why He rescued the House of Jacob from slavery.

It's why he gave the Law.

It's why He kept them from harm in the wilderness for 40 years.

It was why He drove out the enemies before them.

It was why he was so slow to let them be overrun when they turned to the sins of those whom they had displaced.

It was why he let them go back into captivity and why He brought Ezra and Zerubbabel back to rebuild the Temple.

It's why He drove out the troops of Antiochus and caused a night's worth of oil to last for a week.

It was to show that He is enough, to teach us to be still and know that HE is God. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills...

And the hills as well...


Queenie, Just a suggestion here...

Though it might seem trivial, the financial situation you find yourself in is just what you need to prove your faith.

We receive not because we ask not. We get nonspecific answers because we ask nonspecific questions. You need 800 dollars, let's ask Him for that exactly.

Or ask him to replace the car with one more economically feasible maybe even free of charge.

Don't just ask Him to help, ask Him to give you specific help.

[/sermon]

Mark

I'm in for that, is this how you would like me to direct my prayers??

Lil

Good morning,

I was taught in AA to not ask for anything specific or for yourself. And trust me I STRUGGLED with this.

So I'm not sure what to ask for to be honest.

Your thoughts?

I'm having a very hard time with quitting. In truth, I didn't want to fire the head coach, and I voted no, but I was part of the board and I just didn't have the strength to fight.

In the end, I've lost being a part of something that was very near and dear to my heart and I am feeling it this morning. I guess I could just be a parent and just go watch for my kid, but that' not me and I'm sad over it.

I can't understand THIS, Queenie. It's not YOU just to be a PARENT? What's BEST for your KID? I hope I'm wrong in hearing you say it's all about YOU.

For ME, it would be MOST IMPORTANT to be there for MY KID.

Queenie - what if you quit and your h does nothing about lacrosse? Who wins?

Queenie, I know AA taught you not to ask for anything for yourself. But, the Israelites did petition G-d when needed. Did they ask for manna in the wilderness? Did they ask for help in overcoming their enemies?

I'm not sure if I will be able to explain this accurately so give me some space here.

I volunteer for lacrosse because it helps me pay for my children. It helps me to be involved in their lives through being on the field with them, knowing their friends, etc.

Part of being Jewish is this acceptance of responsibility or called Tikkum Olam, repair the world. And so I give of myself to others for that purpose.

When I am involved in lacrosse I feel like I am making a difference in my children's lives. That's what I mean.

Does that make sense?

Queenie,

sorry I haven't been around much and am behind with your thread. It sounds like you are really struggling, but let me encourage you to trust that it will all work out. Just because we can't see HOW, doesn't mean that it won't.

I do want to comment on the lacrosse situation. When you first posted about it you said


Then you talked about how anyone who WANTED to could apply for a position need only apply. Instead you didn't even go to the meeting? Instead you go down the path saying that you quit before you got fired? What is that? Am I really missing something here? Because if ALL of the positions were opened up, and a re-organization of the entire situation is in progess, I don't see how this is about YOU specifically.


I can't buy your being sad when you didn't make much of an effort to stay involved. You had the opportunity to do so but chose not to. Nothing wrong with that. But don't make a choice and then cry foul afterwards. You are better than that!!

Unless I've missed something I have to tell you to get off that pitty party train. To quote yourself -


I'll remind you again to step back and look at where you've been. Ups and downs,,,,hills & valleys, , but you have a strength that you CAN use when you chose to use it.

I'm here pulling for you!!! Chin up Chest out.

My children played sports for YEARS and YEARS..traveling, college...WE WENT TO ALMOST ALL OF THE GAMES..that's what mattered to THEM...that WE were THERE...

They're grown now...don't play sports at all..which I find weird..prolly got burned out...

They will tell you, though, what matters is that I WAS ALWAYS THERE ROOTING THEM ON!!

They BOTH, GROWN MEN, CALL ME DAILY....

Oh NO, if I gave that impression, I'm sorry. This isn't about ME alone. It's about a board that looked at the direction the program was going and trying to do something right that just went haywire. The fact that the entire board has resigned doesn't change the truth that these players are not being coached well, or the issues with safety and disrespect are a deep problem with our kids. And that's why I am taking this stand.

I attempted to right a short version, but you know what' that is not what is at play here. I found myself in a position of being caught in the middle of something that had no winning sides. The reasons calling for the resignation of the coach are VALID. But the process by which it was handled was flawed and he had enough old time backers to remember the coach he was, not who he is.

I HATE confrontation more than anything in life. Maybe none of you can understand how that can be, but it's who I am.

I actually have been involved in this fight since June, I just didn't talk about it much. Because I avoided it like I do most things in my life.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm caught up in a situation that has no winning sides and I HATE IT.

Is that any more clear?

Well now I have a chance to see if this matters most to him.

IMO, it's MOST IMPORTANT for you to focus on your PERSONAL LIFE at this time, learning to LOVE YOURSELF, work on your ADDICTIONS, take care of your KIDS...

That BOARD stuff is often NUTS with people bringing issues unrelated to the BOARD..BTDT...and in the end of the day..your kids will have grown up and moved on...

You don't have to be ON THE BOARD to do this...


This is part of my religion as well..this is part of being a GOOD PERSON in all religions..give of yourself in ways that are NOT HURTFUL to yourself...


The MOST DIFFERENCE that you will make is spending ONE ON ONE TIME with them...LISTENING to THEM..BEING THERE for THEM..NOT AT A BOARD MEETING...

It sounds like the BOARD is more about YOU..and that's OK...BUT it's not HELPFUL to YOU anymore..my opinion...

Your RIGHT.

I didn't see it like you just wrote it. You are absolutely right. THANK YOU....

Wow, I never thought of it like that.

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

Well so say I'm exhausted would truly not describe what I am feeling right now.

I need to thank many of you for calling me on my stuff. Whether I like it or not, the truth will set me free. But this ole addict has a warped sense of truth. Not a cop out, just the way it is.

Pretty and I have been working VERY HARD this morning getting me to look at the truths about stuff in my life, especially my marriage.

While I don't want to say that it's entirely sunk in, the truth or whatever I am willing to peel away some more layers and look at my life.

There is no doubt I go into the victim or self-pity mode way to often. Part of it is my self-esteem or lack there of, but part of it is my way of controlling the truths.

I constantly find myself wanting to take the blame for not just my marriage, but alot of things in life. Boundaries, probably. Have I visited this before, you bet, but here it is again, to go deeper and hopefully peel away more and let more of G-d in.

I know that I have touched on this, but it's really time for me to stop making excuses for WH and even H. He is a hurt human being. I did everything I could in our M to make it work, but as I made progress, he didn't and in fact probably didn't want to because then he would have had to look at his ownself.

He is passive-agressive, manipulating and controlling. I know Mimi, you don't like labels, but that's who he was. He played mind games with me a great portion of our time together. I keep taking the blame as a way of controlling what could happen, meaning if I were better then he would respond and come home.

I am constantly doubting myself, in all aspects of my life because then I don't have to make a stand or two I don't have to accept that I can't control others. And when others do what I don't like or don't want them to, I am running around trying to fix it, make it better, or blame myself.

Whew.... why would any sane person in life do that. I have no clue to be honest, but I'm not stopping at just saying this is what happens. Queenie is really looking at how to stop this and just live a new life.

To accept that my H was anything less than the perfect man or the man committed to making our marriage isn't being honest with myself anymore. He gave me lip service, about life in generally, but when I look at his actions, they weren't there for whatever reason.

I'm not saying I want a D, but somehow I have to get to the truth of our marriage so that I can forgive myself and move on into a healthier place.

Indulge me right now, because I am working through, need to get this on paper and ask G-d for the next piece.

Queenie, is the state collecting the money and sending you any child support?

Yes Cinders, they are.

But the state will not collect on my 18 year old even though the agreement was made AFTER he was 18 and graduated.

And they will only collect a percentage of his check, so he seems to be getting away with not having the full child and spousal support for me and YS.

:crosseyedcrazy:

Well, if he agreed to pay it and isn't, for whatever reason, he is probably in contempt of court. How do you need to handle that?