I remember when you came on here you were much more concerned about her.

Remember there isn't anything you can do about her, but control and change yourself. I wondered what are YOUR EN's?

Dude, it's my thread, I can do with it what I want.

Keep talking because you are helping me...

My EN's?

Well, I would say my top few are Sexual Fufillment,recreational companionship, honesty and openness, an attractive spouse, and converstaion.

Ok thanks.

Can I ask you what made you think it was ok to go away with a woman, skiing?

I believed since I invited my wife every time I though it was ok.(I broke my hand after a probbaly 6 trips in 8 weeks, and once I skiied again after healing, I no longer invited her) I though if she did not want to go, that was just her problem. I was having fun again, having a great time, so its her problem if she does not want to come along.

I am curious though, why ask about my EN?

Because as you learn about yourself and own up to what you did, it will help me to understand what drives you.

And I have an idea what WH's EN's, but I'm not completely sure and I wanted to see if there was any similarity.

You invited your wife to go and she didn't?

I did invite her every time, up until after I broke my hand. So the first 6 trips over 8 or 9 weeks.

At first, I wanted them to be friends. This OW was someone who did alot of outdoor physical things my wife used to enjoy, I though they could be friends. I though she would enjoy it.

She was very depressed at this point, it was hard to get her to do anything other then plan an online game we both played wayyyyy too much. It was probably the only thing we did togather other than fight, and even fought over that at times. We would fight that I was in bed for hours and she was still playing. I would scream and yell at her to come to bed.

Thanks Silver,

I'm going to switch to your thread for awhile on this.

See ya over there.

I need a little high five here people. My skins won, but come on, they almost lost to the Lions. Oh the joys of having to play the game instead of just winning it on paper.

But it took me 3 1/2 hours to wait and post about this.

My jets won too, mighty victory over the KC Chiefs.. and we barely won.

you know, 1 point is all it takes.

Just like I pray for ONE CHANCE to make my M work.

WH just wouldnt' give me one slim chance. He told me he wanted something more than to be married to his best friend. That something more was a crack addict, twice divorce who got hep c by sharing needles with her ex husband as she shot up heroin.

Can you just imagine how special I felt?

I cant give you advice, but I can give you dorky quotes. This one from one of Zora and my favorite films.

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

Queenie,

Remember, they always affair down! One day he will see it, but it may not come as quickly as you would like to to come. It may not come until you let go. I think sometimes God needs us to know that we can survive on our own, be happy with ourselves, and love our own life before he works the miracle.

Keep working on you girl. You have come a long way....

for your skins!!

Ok this brought tears to my heart. I believe I am fighting for the good in my H. I have to keep trying, I just have to. But trying is leaving him completely to G-d and like you, learning about ME and learning to love me so I can be the woman G-d always envisioned for me.

Chai, We BOTH have come so far. So are you thinking that I need to divorce him?

Queenie,

No, not saying D at all. I'm just saying that this A may go on longer than you or any of us thought. If you don't want a D, then don't do it.

Like I said before, it's odd that my WH and your WH don't want to be M to us, but they won't D us. Mine wants me to do it so he can forever say it was ALL my fault. Not sure what yours is thinking.

Gawd, I hate waywards....

definetely not my favorite person in the world.

Sorry, did not want to make you cry. But if it makes you feel better, It always got me all glassy eyed,more so these days. I actually am going to watch that movie now. I watched 1 inning on the World Series and said screw this, its lord of the rings time.One can only get so excited about the devil rays and phillies.

I asked Zora for a D several times, she told me at first no, then she said fill it out and she would sign. I never did. I dont think I ever believed we would end up Divorced. I guess I thought she would always be there. I was wrong.

Anyways, I am signing off, got a great movie to watch now.


Have a great night Queenie and thank you.
Silverwind

You don't make me do anything or cause anything in me. I learned to take responsibility for my own feelings. :crosseyedcrazy: And that took a long time to say.

I don't know what you are thanking me, I didn't do anything. But I'm learning to say thank you.

Enjoy the movie, I hope to talk to you soon.

G-ds speed on your journey, it's a long battle for you and me as well.

quote of the week for you queenie!!!!

A friend doubles the joy
and halves the grief.

I was thanking you because you did do something, you got me to understand some things from my past, and focusing not on the present but on the past and seeing things maybe just a little bit clearer. Its easy to look back and say I was wrong and know why, but to actually reflect on it, and discuss it, and see it is something else.

Then you are so welcome.

Have a great day.

I like that saying Pretty, thank you.