She is trying to dump the old cat on you. How old is it? 10-1 it is developing cat box issues and she saw an opportunity.

If you want a cat, get a new one you raise yourself.

Don't respond to her at all, it isn't necessary. This was a convo between you and your child. Get a cat that YOU want and that is for YOU to enjoy.

The cat is with someone from her job.

I guess I was seeking feedback on my response to her. I'd love nothing more than to send the message I wanted to send, but then again, what purpose does it serve other than throw her adultery in her face once more?

Don't respond.

I agree, don't respond.

But I do have to add, poor cat. Yet another victim of adultery here. Somebody has it now - leave it be.

Good point Wild.

And to quote one of my favorite quotes:

NUTS!

Don't feed her, POM. She likes the drama and to be at the forefront of your mind. She maintains control over you that way.

Ignore her.

Fox

I know...

Let ME send the message

It is a grand response but it probably is best not to feed the drama.

General McAuliffe ??

Yes.

My lawyer never went for that response in our legal documents.

I wanted her to send that response whenever her and her lawyers made a dumb offer.

I wanted my lawyer to simply say:

My clients would like to respond to your suggestion for settlement with the following:

"NUTS!"

Sincerely,

Attny Kick Butt

They never went for it for some reason.

Another good one would be:

"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of eldeberries!"

But again, no go from the lawyers.

I wonder why?

There's been a real turnaround lately in my mood and I think this is good.

I think that setting aside the idea of Sally and I having something has been the thing which has really helped the most. I've taken steps to expand my horizons and there have been some really good developments.

I had two dates this past week. Both dates were with women I went out with before and both dates were a lot of fun. Nothing other than great dinner conversation and some laughs.

I hadn't gone out with one of these women in a loooong time. I met her in the summer of 07 and found her really attractive, but all my other drama took its toll (understandably).

She contacted me out of the blue a few months later and we've been on friendly terms since, exchanging the occasional email and text.

We went out to dinner in February, but I was gearing up at that point for my custody fight and was still enmeshed in all that drama.

So our conversations weren't really light and fun.

Well, all of that has changed.

I really, really, really don't like to talk about the courtroom stuff, the ex, or the custody fight. So all my conversations now turn to other topics.

I met up with her last night and she looked better than I remember. She also complemented my beard (I have the Will Riker thing going right now) and said she liked it.

We had a great dinner together and talked about the challenges of being single parents who truly put their kids above their own needs and the challenges that brings to dating. We talked about growing up Catholic and trying to raise our kids with good morals in a society that preaches sex everywhere. We had some good laughs over "Catholic Guilt" and had an awesome discussion over politics.

What's funny is that Sally called me in the middle of dinner and left a message that "we haven't talked for a while".

I got a very good feeling after the dinner that she'd be interested in meeting again and I sure as heck would be as well.

So my mood has changed due to a simple attitude change. Life has much to offer and I simply need to get out and enjoy it. I've carved pumpkins, put a little cartoon skeleton in front of my house, been on friendly dates, gone out with friends, and have generally taken steps to just get myself out there in whatever capacity that may be.

I returned Sally's call on the way home and had a laugh because she said she was starting to worry that I didn't call her right back since I normally do so. I got the chance to share with her that I was out on a dinner date, but did it in a way that was very casual.

But I did notice how hard it was to talk to her while on the phone and how easy it's been to talk to the other women I've been out with. I don't think it's because Sally is bad at conversation. I think it's because she's still wrestling with her own divorce and is still generally pretty down.

I could also be feeling good because I've been running a lot and have felt the belt loosening, which is always a plus.

My mom comes in tonight and we're both looking forward to a long weekend with the kids and trick or treating with them.

As usual, I have all of you to thank for your thoughts and advice as well.

Pom, I just got this image of you as Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me if You Can - where he's in his pilot outfit walking through the airport with a harem of stewardesses. Is this really you?

LOL!

That's funny. If only I were so lucky!

I'd love to be flying still, but I can actually fly a plane, unlike Leonardo. (That is a great book, BTW)

No, I may have several dates, but have yet to actually have what I truly want which is a real and solid relationship.

I'm fishing. But I have all day and am in no rush and can sit by the water for a long time.

I have eHarmony to thank for the many date opportunities it's given me and for the very high quality of women I've met, but my life circumstances prevented those from developing.

But things are different now and how I carry myself is different and I actually have solid conversation other than court junk and stories of Darth WHNACG and the Sith master guiding his evil ways.

Yes, indeed, there is more to me that the fight against a female biased court system and the battle to be a father to my children. While that is a bit of a Quixotic quest which has had a minor victory, it isn't all that I am.

I came home and called one of the older ladies from my divorce group. She's about 20 years older that I am and has been a good voice of reason. She's sort of my confidant and who I turned to often for advice about Sally, who is a mutual friend.

Well, she had a court dealing recently and has suffered the indignity of having to settle out of court with her ex husband who sued her to have her pay the storage fees and rent of his OW.

She faced a choice of spending thousands to fight an issue on principle or settle for hundreds less and avoid the court costs of the lawsuit.

I felt for her and called to give her some consolation.

Waywards are evil. I cannot understand the depths of their depravity. This man sued his ex wife, who he cheated on with this other woman, over the fact that she took a little longer to get to a settlement than he wanted and it cost his new woman some money in terms of legal fees.

She had a 22 year marriage destroyed and had to give her home to her husband who moved the OW in with her kids.

The only consolation I could give her is that there is a 98% chance his new relationship will fail and that life will find a way to pay him and the wretched wench back.

I'm so mad for her. I feel like going to her house and spray painting a giant red A on their front lawn.

I'll have to settle for giving them the evil eye and farting in their general direction.

But this is how I feel inside about her H and how I'd like to talk to him:

She is such a nice lady and it stinks to see this happen to her. The good news is that she's washed her hands clean of him and doesn't have to deal with him at all.

She shared some of her shocking discoveries with me about her H. She discovered cases of S&M porn just before their divorce and bizarre drawings he made of bondage scenes with other women.

The man is sick in the head, so good riddance, but it boggles the mind that you can be married to someone for so long and they turn out to be so sick. Almost makes you wonder if demonic possession is more common than we think.

That almost makes more sense than seeing these nice people we once knew and were married to turn into the crazies they've become.

Leo was a lawyer in that movie as well. I'm afraid this image I have of you has now been sealed! Just don't wind up in a French prison, okay?

Hmmm. Pilot then lawyer then doctor.

Who needs degrees when I can go and fake it!

I better get cracking or I'll never finish both law school and medical school! I'll be 70 by the time I finish each one!

Honestly, I think my character is more suited to being a nurse. My therapist says that I'm more emotionally like a woman than a man, which she finds very interesting.

So perhaps I should consider becoming a Focker and pursue being a male nurse. That would open my dating prospects as well.

Yes, I want to be a great Focker!

Stupid, stupid, stupid me! :twobyfour:

Got a call from exww. She knows how to push my buttons. She wanted to inform me of some logistical stuff with the kids. We got to talking about some things and she started pushing buttons.

We see things differently than what happened when we had our last hearing. I felt we have no agreement on stuff. She saw it differently and it's all about 2 days next week.

So we got into it and a few choice words were said and I had a few choice words about her living location and the backwardness of the place and the fact that the schools the kids are in now suck compared to the ones they could be going to.

So she stirred the pot and I said some things in the end which I regret saying now.

Buttons were pushed and I was stupid to just not cut things off sooner in the conversation.

So please dish out the 2x4s and let me have it because I really need to be told!

She got my blood boiling and then kept egging me on, teasing like we were kids in gradeschool and I stupidly put on the show of anger and engaged her. She stirred the pot and I gave her the satisfaction of a response when she didn't deserve none.

Who cares what she thinks! She wants me to "accept" that the kids are doing great and that their new daycare is the greatest thing ever and that all is wonderful.

Says that I don't do it out of spite and because it doesn't "support my cause", etc.

Her state sucks, her city sucks and the kids school sucks. Don't need my opinion on it, read the statistics and talk to anyone from around here.

Arghhhhh!



At the very end I gave her my opinion on what type of woman she was and where she's likely to spend the rest of eternity.

I should have just hung up when the conversation went nowhere. :twobyfour: :twobyfour:

Sorry Pom.

And I was doing well, lately.

Minor setback. Her opinion really doesn't matter. I just need to let that go and focus on what does matter, which is the kids, my mom's visit, and the hearing next week.

Your still doing well, don't be so negative.

Too bad The Harleys don't run a match making service for people who know the MB values.

Still exercising at the gym?

Yes. I've been running and just upped my mileage to 5 miles a run. I don't always do 5 because of possible time limits, but I get a 5 in when I can. The fat starts to drip off at that magic number and the beauty of it is that I can eat just about whatever I want. I don't overdo it, but it's good to be able to eat.