Maybe warn him that they can be taken away. They are privileges - not rights - and he gets to earn them. Failure to improve by designated amount will result in loss for designated period of time. If he gets grades up and keeps them up, he gets to keep his privileges.....

Did you follow that?

I'm tired and cranky.

this was my first response to the counselor - Think I should kill him?

Her response - After you yell at him 

then I wrote - Oh good. I was hoping you were going to say that.

Seriously, this is what I came up with. He has one chance…. ONE…

NOT ONE MORE MISSING ASSIGNMENT…

Grades – all brought up by the end of November.

Or he loses cell phone, all electronics, what do you think?

I think we are in agreement Cinders

Hi Queenie-

There's always drivers' ed to hang over his head too.
Until he's 18, you are the one who gives him permission to get a permit, take drivers' ed, and even drive.

That means, even after he gets his license, you can still have it taken from him by signing a form with the State Patrol.

I'll email you about next Tues!

JT,

Have you not learned anything about me. I took that one away first LONG TIME AGO. This is step two...

I just also ordered him to attend conferences with me and he asks why, the teachers are just going to lie.

Silly boy.... He is so busted....

YES!!! I haven't spent all that time going to parenting classes for nothing.

Tonight, I will tell my daughter that I do plan on cancelling her text mail for a while. And, if I have one more sexually-related infraction of the mom rules, I drop her off my phone plan and she can deal with it herself.

They think they stand a chance against us.....

They DON'T.....

We are survivors who love our kids and will raise them right.

We didn't have this choices when we were younger. I only got DRUGS.... Man... How UNFAIR.....

Well YS and I had a glorious evening learning about how wonderful he is in class, how much the teachers enjoy him, what a great kid he is and oh YES, that little detail of NO HOMEWORK, NONE ZIPPO...

Needless to say, my son was doing homework after I got home from another meeting and he got up early to go to school for help with math. Of course he didn't get mcmuffins out of the deal, but hey, I'm into bribing 15 1/2 year olds....

He knows the bottom line... It's his choice, his life, his consequences.

On another note: I'm in a weird place. I continue to get stronger and stronger everyday. Where I didn't feel like participating in life, I feel more and more capable of handling things again. Of course, this is my way of not learning about myself and taking care of myself. So I hesitate to get involved for a little longer.

But as I read on here how BS are angry with WS, I still feel the urge to reach out and shake them because their spouses are at home and are given a chance to make their M work. I didn't get ONE SHOT, NOT ONE CHANCE... NOTHING...

And I didn't even get the chance to be mad. I realized how serious this was from the beginning and that I had lost him and I have fought everyday to be given the chance. My WH is out there, completely walked away from our life, walked away from his children, his family etc. and is GONE. What the WS did was despicable, but on my side of the street, if you had to go through this, what side would you want to be on, the one with or without the WH and the chance to build a brand new M.

I have no right to tell anyone else how to feel or understand how lucky they are in spite of what their WS has done. I'm not explaining myself well at all and I'm not trying to offend or judge anyone. We all have to walk through this how we walk through this.

I just WISH and contine to PRAY for that one CHANCE to recover my M.

Here is what happened at school today for my YS. YEAH

I met with YS for the first time today. I remembered him from Challenge Day, and among other things, we discussed some of the things we learned at Challenge Day and how it relates to where he is today. He released a lot of what is on his mind today and talked for about 40 minutes. We set an academic goal today, to “turn in all my homework on time and complete.” This goal is for the current nine weeks. I asked him how he could reward himself for achieving this goal. He was not sure. I offered a suggestion of bringing in his favorite lunch after the nine weeks if he achieves his goal. He said he likes steak and mashed potatoes, so if he achieves his goal I will arrange to bring that in one day early second semester.

I enjoyed meeting YS and getting to know him a little better today. I will schedule a follow-up meeting in three weeks to check in with him on his goals. He knows he can make an appointment to see me if there is anything he wants to talk about or if he needs support in achieving his goal in the meantime.

I am so grateful he opened up to SOMEONE.... Thank you G-d.... Thank you G-d.

This was my response..... because I had to learn this part in my journey.

I don’t think you can ever understand how grateful I am to you. If there is anything I can do to support you, please let me know.

YS is a wonderful young man and I love him deeply. As a mom I want to fix hard times, journeys and lessons in life. Unfortunately I can’t. He has to work through this time in his life for himself so he can celebrate the successes of him coming through and learning about who he is as a young man growing up in a very difficult period as well as build lifelong skills and strategies to face other problems in life.

I am so excited that he shared with you. He needs that positive male connection in life and safe environment to acknowledge his feelings.

In so many ways I go back to Psalm 23rd. G-d made me lie down to restore me. I KNOW that. I was living such an ung-dly life and he had enough of watching me destroy myself. Fortunately I was willing to open my eyes and look at myself instead of WH and learn those lessons so that I can be a better example to my children and let my children have a better chance in life in living a healthier life than what we were showing them.

Hi Mark,

Been a while, how are YOU?

Queenie,

I'm doin' good.

I have been around, just haven't had much to say lately I guess.

Looks like you're doing good as well.

Mark

Hey there,

I am doing good. I am getting stronger emotionally more and more every day. I have my down MOMENTS, but UP DAYS and DAYS together.

I have a relationship with G-d, my children. I am performing better at work and feel like I can manage life with G-d holding me.

I'm not so healed that I don't want WH to still come home. But I am able to just stay in today better and better and let G-d do what he is doing.

I miss you when you are so quiet. I still love having those sermons, it helps to center me.

I can't make those up I'm afraid. I can only share what I have learned or am learning. I don't know where they come from (yeah, I do), but they aren't really from me...

I figure when He is quiet, I should be too...

Mark

I would classify this as one of the best sermons yet.

Took me many years to learn that...

Mark

thank you Luna...... You are such a special person to me.....

I'm off to go see a bunch of catered Jewish woman, who don't have a clue about real life and troubles. But they are fun, rich and I love to laugh with them.

See ya later.... :crosseyedcrazy:

Hi Queenie,


Enjoy.

Tonight, the sadness is just at the surface. Stupid me looked at YS's cell phone and saw that WH called.

Can you believe I'm jealous. Of course you can. How stupid, selfish and silly. It's his child for heaven's sake.

But the wave is coming in. I know the feeling. I know I'll get through it. I just hate knowing it's coming in.