Queenie, I feel for you

It hurts so much, I know. WH phones my boys nearly every night on their phones, they know to go to there rooms and speak to him.My consolation is ,how does WH feel when he puts down the phone?.One can't compare a 5 min call to you as mom always being there for your boys.He is still missing out on their lives big time.He will never be able to replace the time he lost with his children and remember it was his CHOICE.

Pray and ask God for strength when you feel down.

Queenie, he will always be their father. He won't be the one they remember as being there for them. It's a fact of life. In time, this won't matter.

Look at the continuum of life. A phone call isn't much.

When my children were little, their dad called daily or they called him. In fact, that went on for years. On the landline phone because that was all we had. I was expected to remind them to call. For years, I had to dial the number and hand the phone to them. By the time they were 10 or so, all I would agree to do was tell them to call. So, don't sweat them exchanging a brief phone call now and then.

Just because they talk to their dad doesn't mean they think more of him. Don't make a big deal of it to your children. Just vent here. (But you probably did this to know - sort of like taking a hit from your addiction, didn'tcha?)

Queenie, even though both my boys see their dad alternate weekends and speak on the phone regularly, they have both said, with no hesitation, that they have lost respect for their dad. Respect is something that is difficult to get back IMO, and the sad thing is that WH is so unaware of this, he thinks he has a great relationship with his boys...on the surface , yes...

Hi Queenie!

(Bit of a tj)

Tuesday at Bell Square. Want to meet at the clock tower? What time?

PS: I'm so excited to spend some time with you!

I am thinking of you tonight. I know you posted this hours ago, but I am praying for peace in your soul tonight.


I remember a moment when I felt that jealousy. I posted about it here. This was the only safe place to speak of it, because I was so ashamed that I would be jealous. My oldest son was going to "hang out" with his dad one weekend night. I remember just feeling betrayed by that, and at the same time feeling ashamed that it even bothered me.

We all feel it at times, Queenie. And like you know, it passes. It's just another step along a long and winding journey.

Amen.

Hi there, thank you so much for the hugs and concerns and support.

I'm not jealous that YS has a relationship with his dad. He really NEEDS that. I'm jealous that H is spending time with YS and not spending time with me. I miss him so much.

I just got home from convention. Spent too much time there and it brought me down after awhile. I overestimated how healed I was. I should have slept at home.

When I got home I figured out YS is playing lacrosse with WH. But I was already reeling. Last night my friends husband made a dvd from all her loved ones wishing her a happy birthday. It was actually a very touching moment. But what set me off was how the husband started out talking about he put it together.

He was bragging about how he lied to her for months, went behind her back, talked to her friends etc and that he could have been having an affair and she would never have suspected. That hit me hard and I just didn't find the humor in it. So I have been shutting down inside ever since.

I hope you all are doing ok.....

Hey SMB, it sure is nice to see you. I miss you lots.

Hey JT, what about 11:00 on Tuesday at the clock tower? I can't wait to see your smiley face.

Let me know if that works.

Hi Queenie-

11:00 sounds good. I'll be there with my smiley face

Me too. I can't wait....

Hi Queenie,

Can I trade you for my ODD? Her mouth is getting her into too much trouble with daddy. LOL

I feel for you and your YS. Does he (Or will he) have anybody he can talk to other than yourself or his siblings? Be very careful!!! I went through much of what you describe, and basically it came down to me convincing myself that I shouldn't care because my Dad doesn't, then carried it around for 25 years.

Sorry about the constant triggers. Jokes about cheating don't have the same luster anymore, do they?

Hey there dude,

I miss you SO MUCH. YS got to talk to a school counselor this week and released much in a 40 minute session. The counselor is checking in with YS in three weeks. So, yes finally he has someone to talk to.

No, those jokes are just not funny anymore...

Hi Queenie,

I saw your question on the other thread.

No I do not think you stupid for keping faith that he will come home. Your heart will know when it's been long enough. My best friends broke up for three years (Not M and No A, but she got very serious with someone else and had a child) and it took them that amount of time to figure out that they loved each other and were meant for each other.

So it can happen and does happen... Just remember that either way you will make it and it is posible for find the happiness you seek.

I still love the H way too much. What is up with that.

I really miss you TMTS... It's been about a year for you and you and I went through some really bad times. I'm so glad life is better for you.

My life will go one for sure. But there will always be that emptiness of losing the man I loved with all my heart and soul and promised to be married to forever.

I'll keep faith and trusting today... Just today.

As for your child... NOPE.... youre on your own.....

JT,

Can we hook up at 12:00 instead of 11:00 at the clock. I am going to be spending the whole day away from the boys and would like to spend some time with them in the AM.

Sure!

Thank you......

Happy Monday..... Wild week eh?

So I found out that my neice, WH's goddaughter is getting a D. I wrote about how a year into the marriage she found out her H was cheating on her and now I just found out how she cheated on him.

It breaks my heart because how people just give up. WH commented to me when we went to her wedding last summer when this first happened about marriage. They said the most amazing vows, and for NOTHING.

Am I just crazy? Too old fashioned to live in this time?

I hate D. I hate how people just walk away from M and move on.

I think God said exactly that...

Mark

Yeah, He does. But, thankfully, He still loves those who endure it.