Please see my previous post below. My question still remains if she won't admit to an affair how to I get her to stop or leave her job. She obviously doesn't value our marriage very much and she loves her job, so she would probably choose her job over marriage.
What if I'm wrong and it was just a flirtatious type relationship (which doesn't make it right), but I could live with that and assuming it has stopped like she says (I also haven't seen anything to think much otherwise). The phone calls/text messaging have all but stopped, emails going back in forth, but obviously I don't know what goes on at work.
Should I confront someone else such as the other guy or the other guy's wife, but what if I'm wrong? If it gets back to her she will be pissed because she will beleive I still won't drop it. Should I just work on Plan A for a while until I find something that would prove her wrong. We are going to go through with a
Controlled seperation (which is where you seperate w/ the intentions of working on the marriage w/ guidlines. Basically, like you are dating. She is moving out of the house. She did also say she would go to the Marriage Builder's seminar? Is the seminar worth it?
Please help!
My wife and I of 8 years are on the verge of a controlled seperation. We have two kids 3 and 5. I don't agree with the cs, but she says what we are doing now is not working. Here is the story.
She says she still loves me, but she always feels oppressed in our marriage. She always has to answer to me about where she is, what she buys and what she does. I agree I probably was a little overboard with this. I have agreed to and have changed. She says living this way over the past few years has changed her and she is trying to decided if she still wants to stay married to me.
I also found out that I believe she is or did have an emotional/physical affair with one of her employees. She had gone away on a business trip with him back in August and after we started having problems I did some digging and uncovered emails, text messages and chats between the two of them. In all of them I did not see anything sexual or any "I Love You," but I did see a lot of unprofessional dialouge going back in forth. Of course she denies it other than to says it got a little unprofessional, but once she realized it, she stopped it. Who is to know what really happened. I have confronted her a number of times to no avail. I told her if she would just tell me we could work through this together. I do love her and our two boys and want to work it out. My question is w/o her admitting to it and knowing if it truly has stopped. How do you move forward? In Dr. Harley books he always talks about having no contact with the lover at all, but if she won't admit to do anything wrong, how can I ask her to change jobs, so she won't see him everyday. He too is married w/ small children. Please help.
