I am talking about my 10 and 13 year olds. My 13 year old is best friends with this woman' daughter and they live on our street. (She already knows she can't go over there)They know something has been bad between us and they know it's also because he was always over their house. They've overheard arguments where I accuse him of things. He finally admitted it and agreed to never see her again. I'm at the stage where I am furious and want to tell them. What do I do? Should we tell them and that daddy is sorry and wants to make things up to them? Should I just ask outright what my DD knows about our fights? I'm really too angry to think reasonably right now.

Yes you need to tell your children but don't tell your children out of anger. Calm down and explain in age appropriae terms what Mrs. OW and your H did and unfortunately that has cost you children a playmate. Does your 13 yo go to school with the OW's DD? Be sure to emphasize that just because Mrs. OW is not a nice person that doesn't mean her children aren't. And don't apologize for your H. He owes them that apology. Let him own his stuff.

How is your H never going to see OW again and she lives down the street?

Thanks for your reply. I calmed down and decided to ask each one individually what they knew. DS only knew that daddy and I fought so much because he was over there drinking all the time. He is incredibly sensitive and I only told him that daddy and I were trying to work things out and that daddy was never going over there again. He'd begged his dad not to go over there himself so he was sceptical. He said not even once in a while?My DD knew something and so I told her she was right but that daddy was sorry and wanted to be a part of our family again. I tried to remind her that she used to love her daddy as much as her 3 year old sister and she told me used to was the operative words. That made me so sad and angry because the OW's DD gave my WH a birthday card last month saying she loved him like a father (she can't stand her father who is an [censored]) He's spent more time in the last year with her and her DD than with his own kids.