Here are some requests I've made of my boyfriend of 2 years, along with his responses:

Me: Would you please take the pictures of your ex-wife out of the frames and put them away in a box or something? I am sensitive to that sort of thing.

Him: You are too sensitive. You need to be more secure with yourself. Don't start. Why are you always trying to start a fight.

Me: Would you please stop saying negative things about my house/car/educational plans?

Him: (angrily) I have opinions and I WILL express them. Too bad if you can't accept me the way I am.

Me: Would you please brush your teeth before you come to bed?

Him: I brush my teeth once a day. That's it!

Me: I would like to talk with you about our relationship. It's really important to me. I've noticed that we don't have sex very often anymore and I really miss it. I love you and I want us to figure out what's going on. Can we talk about this?

Him: I don't think there is a problem. I don't think we need to discuss this. Our sex life is fine. If you think this is a problem, then fix it. We don't need to talk about it.


Other things that have been said to me recently by my boyfriend:

I don't know if couples counseling will work because I don't think you can change.

Our biggest problem is 100% your fault and that is that you twist my words around.

We don't need to discuss the relationship.

My question to you all is, how do you work with someone like this? Am I better off cutting my losses?

I agree with you on the pictures. Maybe not taking them out of the frames, but they should be put away.

That he feels free to insult your home, car, and plans, well, that's another big red flag, eh? Strike two.

Teeth? Well, that's kinda petty. Maybe you could give him some literature about how gum disease is linked to heart disease and early death, make it a health issue instead of a stinky-breath one.

No sex? Strike three!

Only you can decide whether you call off the game, or keep on playing. But if I was considering couples counseling with a boyfriend (other than pre-marital, which I think is great), I'd be thinking it's time for a new boyfriend.

Why are you dating this jerk? Are you just not telling us the good things he does for you? Cos I haven't seen any yet. If it's like this now, imagine what it will be like if you get married, and he doesn't have to act 'good' any more. yikes!

I agree with cat 100%.

I just had to cut my losses (not much to cut) just for my sanity's sake. Even Dr. Harley said that he should be permanently removed from my list of prospects due to his bad decisions (long story) and his lack of empathy (failure to follow the poja). Sounds like you need to do the same thing!

Good Luck
RMW