OK - to the woodshed Skald goes.....

I say: "Deja Moo" .... I've heard this bull before.

Do not argue with Skald about this.

Simply say: "You are making choices that are deceptive. Your choices are noted."

Make NO threats
Do not argue
Let MBers talk to Skald about this

send him back to his thread .... :crosseyedcrazy: :twobyfour:

Oh, Purrrfect response, Pepperband! Wish I'd known to handle things like this, way back when.

Ah, the wrenching of a wayward from his fix.
NC means NO CONTACT, even a cyber peek, dammit!

drgnfly, you are SO recently past d-day, it will probably be very difficult to keep your composure as you speak Pep's well-thought-out response to Skald.

Yet, you must put him on notice that you are calmly watching, measuring his words against his actions.

And we all know which are most important.

Didn't know Skald had started his own thread. Will go hunt it down.

((((drgnfly))))

Right Here Waiting

Now he's saying he's not "happy" - we're back to where we were a year or two ago (before the A). And he's thinking Plan B might be an option. Does he honestly believe we can be happy a month after D-Day?? And Plan B is about the A! Not about "I'm not happy, so maybe we need a break." It's like he doesn't realize that this will take work. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH

He's in panic/anxiety mode and blowing smoke - he has no f'ing idea what plan B is - plan B is NOT a plan for waywards.

Skald is talking nonsense because he wants to peek in on OW to see if SHE's doing Ok ... trust me, it was not to protect YOU from things she might say ... no way jose!

Of course he's not happy - he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and is backpeddling as fast as he can.

He's probably done more than peek into her online activities - - you just don't know about it yet.

He's acting like any wayward - snarling and growling his way out of personal responsibility :crosseyedcrazy:

drgnfly,
My WH said almost the exact same thing about plan B and that's how I knew I had to go there for my own sanity. In fact, I think he said something like, for his mental well-being he needed more distance from me (I was in a guarded plan a).. Thats when I was like, he really does not get what he has done to me and the kids!!! He is so full of his needs that my plan a actions are completely wasted!!!
I went to plan b within two days and, although it has been hard, I have a lot more daily peace.
If you have the chance and or resources it might be very helpful to talk with the Harley's. Even my fully wayward H talked with Steve and it sounds like your husband is indicating some interest in R.
BestFriend439

When I checked the history this morning, it said 35 visits to that page. At lunch it said 20. Another time it said 9. I don't know why the number changes, but 35 apparently isn't an accurate number. In fact, we've been trying to figure out where the number comes from and we've tested out the history with other sites throughout the evening, and it doesn't even come close to accurate. This still isn't an excuse. Zero is the ONLY acceptible number, but I can't crucify him over a specific number. He was very adamant this morning that it was only a handful of times and that he was NOT lying about THAT. I will concede on this point.

He does admit to checking her site a couple times over the last week (and from checking on his history in the past it has only been the last week), and he did apologize and is in complete agreement of my putting on an internet site blocker which I figured out how to do today. (Wish I would have known how to do that from the start. bleh)

We had a calm and rational talk this evening, and we are able to get past this. We both know that talking about the A right now isn't a help to either of us. That doesn't mean that it won't pop up now and then, but I will try to control my thoughts better in an effort to avoid LBs. And he has agreed that he needs to comfort me when I am having a bad time.

We agreed that when we need to discuss ANY issues, we will go to a certain spot in the house (if possible), make it an intimate setting, cuddle and talk about it calmly. This way we can start the talk out in a good environment and hopefully keep ourselves under control. It made a difference tonight.