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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14 |
Packed stuff in Uhaul the first of the month and relocated. Within a week A was ended and he wants M back and even agrees to MC. What are some tips based on mistakes others have made? Tomorrow will be the first time I break the NC so that we can talk. My Plan B letter said I'd be willing to discuss our future together wants he severes ties with NC. This has happened, so now what??
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Good for you Hangin,
I have no idea to be honest what you do, but I am so happy for the possibilities. A great Thanksgiving.
One thing, are people aware of your story so they can help you with the next steps?
:happythanksgiving:
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14 |
Don't think I'm gonna see him for THnxgiving, altho that's what he requested.
I did post some of my story in another post asking what to do in Plan B when WH keeps contacting BS? But it turns out he was trying to get in touch with me because he had ended A.
This is the second go around for me; that's why I want to take special precautions.
DDay: June 2007
Plan A: July - October 2007
Plan B Letter: November 2007; he immediately ended A
DDay #2: April 2008
Son born: August 2008
Plan B: moved out November 2008; he has ended A again and agreeing to MC; this is all via a mediator so far; haven't talked to him directly yet. Have had NC all month.
We've been married only four years.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Did you go by another name?
So what is your intermediary telling you. Has a NC letter been written to OW?
What were your conditions?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 14 |
When we talk tomorrow for the first time I will ask him to write a NC letter to OW. Even tho he did it in person or on the phone two weeks ago, I'd like it officially written, where I can mail it off like Harley's book suggests.
My conditions are marriage counseling, end recreation activity that involved OW, changing his cell phone number, and us joining a church where there will be accountability. There might be more. Still flushing this all out. The news caught me by surprise today; I had no idea he had ended A until today.
He wants to take things slow and "date" me again and I like the sound of that. The mistake I made last time was just moving back in without insisting on any conditions.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
It seems to me there is no reason to RUSH this.. I just am not qualified to give you the guidance. Lord, knows I wish I was.
Maybe just write down your conditions, be clear as they are met and keep waiting patiently for the vets on here.
They say recovery is harder than anything else. Have you taken care of yourself in preparation for this time? Have you looked at your part in the M and made changes that you always wanted to make?
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 461
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Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 461 |
Good News Hanging,
So pleased for you
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