my fiance told me a few months back that he had 2 affairs. He ended them both because he knew it was wrong and he did not want to continue hurting me and did not want to lose me.

Not long after telling me that - the 2nd mistress told him she was pregnant.

how do I cope with this because the closer Feb gets, I get more and more anxious, withdrawn and depressed.

I know exactly how this feels my boyfriend told me two years ago that when he went away to his fathers funeral he has sex with a girl he knew from high school. Through out the entire course of our relationship she kept pushing the issue for them to be friends, stating that he should have married her after he divorced his first wife,and basically trying to force there to be more between them even though she was in another state. He went down to Florida for his fathers funeral and she offered him a ride back, knowing that he was not attracted to her I didnt see the harm even though I knew she wanted him, he always said she was just my friend I never liked her in that way, her family was always very racist, but she was convinced if she and him were together her racist dad would see he was good and like him. Well he came back and said that basically she forced the issue while he was ina bad emotional state, and now she is pregnant. She has since then had the baby (a week before my birthday go figure) and she keeps reminding him of how much she loves him, even though he has toldher it was a mistake he is not leaving me he wants nothing to do with the child he didnt ask for it it doenst care about her in that way it was a mistake. She actually proposed to him and when he said no she threatened child support the child is now two we have relocated and cut off contact, she emails and even though he dosent want anyhting to do with the mother, it eats at him to have a child here that he is not taking care of because thats the type of person he is. I on the other hand want him to choose me and our daughter we have or her and her child. I cant take it because i feel if we let this child in then its saying that it was ok for them to make it and have the affair or one night stand, even if it was a mistake on his part. (and done intentionally on hers) Its depressing and I do feel withdrawn from him even after two years my blood still boils to think about it. I have went as far as to block her emails from going to him so she cant send updates or ask for money i deleted all the childs pictures from the computers, because it hurts and im still so angry I've tried praying, i have asked for forgiveness because I know I have to forgive her but I cant. Im guess im so angry at her because she shows no signs of remorse for trying to break up my family, she still wants him to herself and I refuse to let her think its ok. even though he tells her he isnot leaving me and our family and he doesnt want her she says God gave us this for a reason we will be together, she is dilusional. She hasnt establish paternity she basically played on the fact that he is a good man, and just wants him to believe that its his. i dont want him to love this child because its a part of her. Im so angry when I think about it. I dont know how to let go and let God