Fox

Yeah... has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Well.. 3 of em to be precise.

Thanks again Foxy for the suggestion, and your advice on how to address things in court.. I honestly think I'll do just fine in there, but these suggestions are always welcome and helpful.

Hi James,

You sound...PREPARED...WELL-DOCUMENTED..DETERMINED...and an example for some of us to follow.

Good luck.

We can add DELAYED to that list.

Just found out from the attorney that the mediator can't make the mediation date, so will have to reschedule. That'll mean we need to reschedule the final hearing as well.. so *hrmf*

I find out the new schedule on Monday.

Sorry about the delay, James. I know you would have preferred to just get the whole thing over with...even if it's not what you want.


Well then, since there is not much you can do...how about considering it as...a rehearsal? ...and a chance to fine-tune your act? :crosseyedcrazy:

ridiculous! This has already gone on far too long.

Sorry to hear that James.

Yeah.. I was kind of let down to hear it as well.

All part of God's unknowable plan I suppose, so we'll take it as it comes in faith that it'll work out for the best.

I'm still well prepared, making updates as the dates on the calendar tick by.

Thanksgiving this year really gave me some good stuff to be thankful for.

I didn't get DS on Wednesday as I normally would, as WW and I agreed last year that we would split up the Thanksgiving holiday each year so that both of us could spend at least some of the time with DS. So I had to go over to WW's apartment to pick up DS. DS wanted me to see something in his room, and WW said it'd be ok so I went back with him. I had waved and exchanged a smile with DSD as I was at the door, but while I was back in DS's room, DSD came in to give DS a hug goodbye, and on her way out of the room came and gave me a hug too, and told me she loved me and missed me.. so another one of the things I'm very thankful for.. I'm sad for her that she has to put on an act to make her mom feel like she isn't betraying her by still caring for me though.. no kid should ever be in that kind of spot.

I got to do some 'family' cooking this weekend, which was good, and DS was with me for the first snow of the year.. which necessitated a big snowball fight and the building of a snowman. It's a little warm for the snow to stick around, so our snowguy looks a bit depressed this morning, all hunched over.. if it's as warm today as it was yesterday, he'll probably have tilted over by the time I get home.. oh well.. we had a blast making him, and that's what's important.

My holiday shopping is for the most part complete, and I avoided the debacle of Black Friday until the early afternoon where I went and did some retail therapy of my own. WARRIOR WEAR is on the menu for my Christmas present to myself, and I managed to pick up a VERRA nice $250 wool overcoat and some new jeans and a few shirts all for under $100. Who knew I could bargain hunt?

Spent a little too much on DS and DD this year.. and of course my mom was out in the thick of things on Friday.. saying I could have saved $10 here or $20 there on some of the stuff I picked up for the kids (wouldn't you know they're electronics junkies).. but my answer each time was that it was already wrapped and worth the extra not to have to deal with that insanity.

We got the Christmas decorations up, and I made homemade milkshakes for everyone to celebrate at the end. Was going to light up the outside of the house this year too, but I think we'll give it a pass again as it's become pretty slick over the weekend.

The exchange on Sunday night was actually rather pleasant.. there's a change in WW's approach to talking to me about things that is encouraging my hope for a more harmonious future once this is all over with. We'll see though.. I couldn't help but notice her fake enthusiasm while DS was relating some highlights of his Sunday which we spent with an old mutual friend of mine and WW's.. oh well.. another day on the role here at MB.

Hope everyone had a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving.. I've been keeping each of you in my heart and prayers.

James,


This is absolutely the best way to look at the schedule change. Something is at work that needs to happen before the hearing, so trusting in Him is the only way to go.

Glad to hear that you had a great holiday. Especially the blessing of DSD's "love you/miss you"! That had to feel especially wonderful.

Wish I could say I did as well as you with the shopping this weekend?!! Plus you got your decorations up? Wow!! Sounds like it was really a productive/fun weekend.

Have a great week!

Is everything that happens part of God's plan??? Or does evil and free will have a hand in things as well???

I don't think so...and look at this as a big negative. Hopefully James pushes and gets this rescheduled as soon as possible.

Relax MEDC.. I'm supposed to hear from my attorney's secretary today once she makes contact with the mediator to reschedule.

If I don't hear from her by the time I get off work I'll call the office to see what's up.



Thanks for stopping in Bugsy.. and yes, it was a very busy weekend, but also a very good one as DS and DD really got to enjoy being home together with me for most of it. DD's extracurricular schedule typically means she's at a practice of some sort almost every night.. this weekend was actually a blessed relief from some of that. Though I guess I can be thankful that she's too busy for boys at least .

Sorry for the delay, Amigo. I agree that it's time to get this over with. You've done all you can and then some, and you deserve the peace that's waiting for you.

You sound very healthy, though, and strong. I'm glad to hear it.

Yup, this time of year is a bad time to try and get things done in the legal system. Mediators (who make ungodly $$) can pretty much set their own schedules. And the Courts? I think they start shutting down the first week of December (not physically, just mentally).

It'll happen when it happens. In the meantime, more time=stronger James.

Well, things are still kind of up in the air about the mediation. Apparently the mediator is due in court about a half hour after he had origonally scheduled with us. According to what I've heard from my A's secretary, he's offered to push back an hour, but that would only give us an hour and a half for a binding mediation.

I'm not comfortable with having to rush through a mediation like that, and neither is my A. I should find out today if/when we can reschedule. I think at least with the financial stuff we can probably come to an agreement, and if that at least is possible I'd like to do that and just leave the custody stuff to go in front of the judge.

Then again, if we can come to a mediated agreement on the custody stuff (which is unlikely), I think that too would be better for DS instead of seeing things constantly challenged in court until he achieves the age of majority. The last thing I want is for my son to grow up in front of a judge.

Thanks SD and PM for your encouragement, and you're both right, I'm becoming stronger every day, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

My daily devotional talked about how through faith many BS's end up having something of a 'makeover' as they emerge from the depression and devistation of infidelity, and I think to a large extent it speaks to time/distance and personal recovery, just as much as it speaks to faith and trusting in God for a victorious life.

I know in my case it feels like the wound has finally closed, and while still tender, I know the scar tissue is forming which will be stronger, denser, tougher than it was before.. and I think to a large extent that's where I'm growing emotionally.

I'm taking better care of myself physically and mentally too, so to that end I think I'm even a little farther than I am emotionally, but I also think it will all culminate nicely.

So I suppose in terms of my personal recovery I'm well on my way to earning my stripes. Just a matter of time now, and very soon I'll be able to formulate a clear picture of where life is headed for me, DS, and DD. With that certainty, and the finality of the legal process I'm hoping it's the last big hurdle to hop in this ordeal, and then I can truly complete the healing process.. and that, is what I choose to focus on and look forward to, rather than lament the failure of my marriage and the destruction of my family. The time for grieving is passed.. it's time to pick up the pieces and rebuild.

I don't know if we are truly ever done grieving. BUT we certainly come to a place where he HAVE to pick up the pieces and REBUILD.

What's the most amazing part is that so many of us who found G-d while we were grieving have G-d leading the way for the REBUILDING which can ONLY be full of BLESSINGS and promises for a future.

Not what we wanted, certainly different than what we thought, but nonetheless amazing because it's a gift from G-d and our hard work to still be good caring people who overcame the worst times in their lives.

You are doing awesome... Simply awesome..

It's a crazy mixture of relief and disappointment, isn't it, James?

I was so glad to read of your interaction with DSD. My heart goes out to her.

I'm sure you are doing what you can do when the opportunities arise to let her know that you still care for her, too.

You are a fine man.

We're all still behind you, delay and all.

Fox

Thanks for the support ladies..

Ugh... this whole is it delayed or isn't it thing is nuts. Was supposed to have found out a half hour ago, but apparently the attorneys are playing phone tag. Nothing I can do about it, but dangit it'd be useful to be able to tell my witnesses whether or not I'll be needing them on the 8th, and if not when I will be needing them.




That, and it appears that she's filed some kind of petitioners report on interrogitories and requests for production which my A's secretary has never heard of.. so whatever that's about *shrug* I know I've turned over everything my A has asked me for within a day or two of him asking but just kind of makes me wonder what kind of stunt she's pulling.

Oh well.

We'll find out soon enough I suppose.. but dangit.. I'd just like to know what the h-e-doublehockeysticks is goin on!

I believe, but I could be wrong... It's know as the legal system...

Hang in there, James. You have said you have a very competant lawyer.

Judges aren't generally stupid. They tend to spot the shenanigans.

"In law, interrogatories (also known as Requests for Further Information) are a formal set of written questions propounded by one litigant and required to be answered by an adversary, in order to clarify matters of evidence and help to determine in advance what facts will be presented at any trial in the case."

I had to look it up, so I'll share with those that didn't know what it was.

So, basically, she just needs MORE information on whatever you had submitted. It's not NEW.

Right, PM?

They may just be trying to scare you with paperwork.

Steady, James.


Fox

I'm not scared of the paperwork... I've pretty much disclosed all of the financial stuff, and she should have been sent copies of everything by my lawyer.. so I don't know what more she's asking for.

She's tried all along the way to say I've hidden this or that, but it's all out there in black and white.. not sure what else she expects from me... I imagine it's just more gamesmanship on her part, but still.. it's irritating.

Remember to breathe