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#2167561 12/02/08 10:06 PM
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drgnfly Offline OP
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He's probably done more than peek into her online activities - - you just don't know about it yet.


Skald confessed tonight that he broke the NC - he's been calling her for the last week. All of you were right. I was an imbecile for ever trying to trust him.

Right now I'm not sure what I want. I know the true meaning behind "There's a thin line between love and hate." I'm riding the line. Part of me still wants to work on this and part of me wants to head straight for Plan D.

I get that he could have gone on without telling me and maybe I should be grateful that he took the step to do so, but right now I don't give a damn about his "good deed". If he hadn't busted the NC, he wouldn't have had anything to confess to in the first place!!! Ooh....he feels disgusted with himself. SO DO I!!! I don't even want him to touch me.

Part of what I wonder about right now is that it didn't hurt so much as royally piss me off. He's hurt me so much already that at the moment I feel beyond pain. Just pure anger and betrayal.

He understands that I might want to go straight to Plan B from here and says that he won't make it easy for me to not see him. He'll sit outside my work everyday on lunch and sit outside the house and all this other stuff. All of a sudden he realizes what he's very possibly lost and is ready to fight for us. I'm not sure that it's not too late. Maybe that's the fresh anger and pain talking at the moment, but I honestly don't know right now.

He wrote a NC letter tonight. I have to go over it yet. Not sure I really care.

Last edited by drgnfly; 12/02/08 10:09 PM. Reason: Added about NC letter.

BW-31
FWH-32(skald)
DD-5
In Recovery
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate."
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Well, it sucks that he can read any plans you make on MB ...

it also sucks I was right frown

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FWIW my FWW broke NC at least a half dozen times that I know of. It did stop but I was the one who had to cut off her contact - she was incapable. Even in withdrawal, she thanked me for cutting off contact because, even in her fogged out state, she knew it was necessary.

The opposite of love is not hate - it is indifference. If you "hate" WH, then there is still love behind it.

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drgnfly Offline OP
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How did you cut off her contact?? He knows her number - can call her from any phone. He knows where she works - can see her if he wants. He knows where she lives - can see her there any time. How do I stop it??? We've changed his number, blocked her incoming emails, blocked her site online. If he really wants to have contact, there is NO way I can stop him. If there's a will, there's a way.


BW-31
FWH-32(skald)
DD-5
In Recovery
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate."
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I was lucky in that the calls were long distance. I had to cut off her funding. OM actually gave her a cell phone from long distance. I found it and ran over it with the Tahoe. I was able to leave her penniless so she could not buy phone cards. Affairs cost money. Cut off the money and you cut off the A.

OTOH, if a wayward wants to cheat, they'll cheat. If he keeps breaking contact, I'm sure you'll end in divorce. You will get to the point, sooner or later, that he just isn't worth the pain and suffering.

Once you become indifferent, it's time to walk.

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drgnfly Offline OP
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I found it and ran over it with the Tahoe.

Thanks - that made me laugh a little.

I've already told him I'm taking his cell phone. We don't have a house phone and my friends that he works with will really be watching his every move now. I guess that's something to start with.


BW-31
FWH-32(skald)
DD-5
In Recovery
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate."
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 692
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drgnfly Offline OP
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Maybe drgnfly needs a facebook account?

I already have a facebook account to keep in contact with my cousin in CA. Unfortunately OW is on there too - she used to be one of my friends. rant2


BW-31
FWH-32(skald)
DD-5
In Recovery
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

"To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate."
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Get a restraining order if he starts stalking you as he says he will.

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DF,

I sensed, sorry to say, that Skald was not out of the fog on a different thread where we were talking. He upbraided myself and another BS-poster for making "inflammatory comments" in response to the 2 of us pointing out some obvious foggy rationalizations and defenses of the A/OP made by another former WS.

You may want to give skald an ultimatim about ABSOLUTE and PERPETUAL NC once and for all or DIVORCE...he has had plenty of "education" on his condition. Of course, you have to be prepared to follow through on your threat to Plan D if needed.

I'm sorry your WH has had every opportunity and still apparently doesn't get how important NC is for you, your M, and FOR HIM as well.


xWW:
Secret LTA w/ thrice married OM at her workplace; EA/PA starts ~ 2005-6
Files & completes D - 2007, OM/OMW#3 D - 2007, Affairage - immediately thereafter
Disappears in 2006 w/o even a goodbye to anyone, Never a paragraph of real truth ever spoken
Me/xBH:
M "for life", Suspicions (denied) & desperate Plan A latter-half '06
1st D-day 1/07, full truth D-day 7/08 (all via 3rd parties)
NC w/ xWW 8/08-date, better off w/o unrepentant vileness, betrayal, & rampant deceit in my life anymore
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I think it was the great philosopher Frederick Nietzsche who said;

"You got to know when to hold em
Know when to fold em
Know when to walk away and know when to run"

BTW and OT but my favorite graffiti of all time was painted on a wall at school. It said:

"God is dead"

(signed) Nietzsche

And below it was painted:

"Nietzsche is dead"

(signed) God

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Originally Posted by piojitos
I think it was the great philosopher Frederick Nietzsche who said;

"You got to know when to hold em
Know when to fold em
Know when to walk away and know when to run"

BTW and OT but my favorite graffiti of all time was painted on a wall at school. It said:

"God is dead"

(signed) Nietzsche

And below it was painted:

"Nietzsche is dead"

(signed) God

I believe it was Johnny Cash in the first instance. In the second instance, I did have that exact quote in my MB sig until the TOS prohibited such and c00per emailed me to change my sig.....


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
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Johnny Cash?

Aussies!

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Originally Posted by piojitos
Johnny Cash?

Aussies!

It was a song called "The Gambler" I believe.

Not Johnny?


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
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Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Originally Posted by piojitos
Johnny Cash?

Aussies!

It was a song called "The Gambler" I believe.

Not Johnny?

Kenny Rogers.

Charlotte

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no no no no no

Kenny Rogers wasn't a great philosopher.

Didn't he make chicken?

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Yessssssssssssssss

Kenny Rogers.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Originally Posted by piojitos
no no no no no

Kenny Rogers wasn't a great philosopher.

Didn't he make chicken?

Neither was Frederick Nietzsche


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Yessssssssssssssss

Kenny Rogers.

Yep, and a DANG good tune, too. He has lots. I still can't listen to "Daytime Friends and Nighttime Lovers," though.

Charlotte

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Originally Posted by piojitos
no no no no no

Kenny Rogers wasn't a great philosopher.

Didn't he make chicken?

rotflmao

Chicken?

I dunno. Maybe he tried his hand at the food biz like a lot of others in the music biz. If he did his chicken never made it to Texas, though!

Charlotte

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There was a Kenny Rogers Roasters right next to my apartment building in Dubai. One time gemela went to Mexico on holiday. Me, being lazy, I bought a Kenny Rogers roaster for dinner every night for a week.

I've never had any since.

Not since that bout of hypertrophic pyloric stenosis resulting from the last roaster.

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