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Joined: Nov 2008
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I have had a couple of pairs of her panties tested that had major stains on them. All came back negative. My w has had a histerctomy, and I did not think her panties should have been stained that way so I had them tested. I feel like I have checked and tried everything.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
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I have thought about doing that as I do have OMW email address. But I dunno if it is a good idea to put anything in writing so it could be used later like if we got a D or something. I dunno if anything in writing could be construed as harassment. I would have to ask my lawyer.


Me 36
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D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: May 2008
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Originally Posted by hogfan
Only if I had the text messages.

And when you do then you will invent another 'if only' so you can continue your pattern of conflict avoidance.

Joined: Jun 2004
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Originally Posted by hogfan
I have thought about doing that as I do have OMW email address. But I dunno if it is a good idea to put anything in writing so it could be used later like if we got a D or something. I dunno if anything in writing could be construed as harassment. I would have to ask my lawyer.

Do you want to end the adultry or not?


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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Yes, I want all of this mess to end. I am tired of always wondering what is going on, what is my W doing now, and how am I going to protect my girls.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
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That is not true. I feel like I need the proof for OMW to even listen. I really do not care if she believes, but I do not even beleive she would take my call without it.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
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Quote
but I do not even beleive she would take my call without it.

Then don't call. Send it with your PI.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
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Posts: 8,344
Does your PI believe that something is going on?

If so, HE can answer her questions - if you give him permission to do so.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
H
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Posts: 369
Yes, my PI believes that there is some sort of realtionship going on. He told me saturday that in his professional opinion he can not say that it has gotten PA yet, but also he could not say that it was not. He has told me that he has busted hundreds of infedility cases, but this is the strangest one he has ever seen. He is as confused as I am on why nothing happened Friday with all of the opportunity.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
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I am jsut so tired of playing this game and always wondering. while my W walks around like there is nothing in the world wrong. What also gets under my skin right now is my W will always ask me for guidance or what to do when situation comes up. Some days because I know what is going on I want to look at her and say why don't you call (John and ask him that is OM actual name.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Originally Posted by hogfan
I am jsut so tired of playing this game and always wondering. while my W walks around like there is nothing in the world wrong. What also gets under my skin right now is my W will always ask me for guidance or what to do when situation comes up. Some days because I know what is going on I want to look at her and say why don't you call (John and ask him that is OM actual name.
Why don't you?

Send the PI to OMW. Today. Quit making excuses, or else just move out and file for divorce. Have you even read the other threads here? The ones where the H keeps making excuse after excuse? To not make W mad? Every one that did what you are doing - being nice - ended up alone. The only ones that have recovered involved a H who went out and told the whole world what W was doing and made it miserable for her to try to see OM. Why can you not do that? Are you so shy that you can't say something in public to someone who can help you? What is it?

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I am not shy about doing anything. I have tried to tell OMW. What is really thepoint of telling her again if she is not willing to listen. I can send the PI to OMW, but that blows the PI's cover. Would that really be a smart thing to do? what I wanted was to get enough in black and white to send to OMW, then see what she had to say.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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How do you know what's been going on in OM's house since you last spoke to OMW? Don't you think she's been watching him like a hawk, whether she admitted it to you or not? Seriously, I don't get this reluctance. You'd rather wait til they go ahead and consummate just so you'll have digital evidence?!

Who is on your expose list?

Joined: Sep 2008
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i saw a commercial for a cell phone where you can buy it and wrap it. watch for it. then at midnight on christmas they activate the phone and it is in the box. you call it christmas morning to suprise her. if you still need evidence of the texts, find out what provider this is. tell them you want a phone for her for christmas but you are doing your christmas on the 22nd or 23rd. At midnight they will activate the new phone that you will posess and see what texts come through.

however, this is dishonest and will probably cause all he77 to break loose. yet when i read how bad you need to see text messages, i thought of that commercial. i seriously doubt you will find anything too inappropriate over text, more ILY and how are you, what is up, dumb stuff. i would be very suprised to see some sort of text $ex going on...


Me: 32 BS DDay: 9/14/08
Slowly coming to the realization that I
am one of those who can't get past it.
Joined: Jul 2001
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get even more devious....

Buy a SIM card reader.

Sneak her phone away and remove the SIM card. It will only take you a few seconds to remove it.

Her phone won't work -- she probably won't figure out why for awhile. In the meantime, you can download and read HUNDREDS of text messages (even those deleted...) Then help her "fix" her phone by replacing the SIM card.

Study up on her particular phone first so you know exactly where the card is located.

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I am sure she is watching like a Hawk. It would be human nature to me to watch after something like that was told to me. My exposure list is like this. OMW, W parents, my parents (alreaady know) W siblings, W work, and the school board on OM.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
H
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I do not understand how this is supposed to retrieve her texts. Her carrier is AT&T.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 369
H
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I have used a sim card reader on her phone. It would not retrieve her texts or deleted texts. All it would do is retreive her phone number list.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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the texts are on the card.

Listen, go out and get yourself a phone just like hers. Take it from her again and when you hand it back...buy yourself some time by handing her yours. With ATT just press and hold 1 for the messages. No password is needed if you call from the phone.

You could do this by tomorrow.

Get agressive.

Joined: Nov 2008
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medc - She has her handset locked with a password. When you open her phone it shows a lock on te screen. when you press a button it asks for a password. I have a phone that I have tried someone's sim card in it and it was able to read what texts were not deleted.


Me 36
W 40
D 11
D 6
Married 14 years
Together 17 years
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