And that is what I am going to do. (EXPOSE) I am ready to blow this out of the water. I thought I did well last night by telling her that this is not going to go on in my home any longer. I looked for her phone last night and was going to pull the sim card in front of her, but she had it hidden somewhere.

Okay, so she is cake eating right now. She gives you just enough affection to keep you on a line.

Revealing your hand was BAA-AD but not irrecoverable. Normally we hint at a greater knowledge and drop a name or so and leave the rest to the WS's imagination.

You have effectively told her to get out. Threats are useless without backup. You can file for D which allows to be able to withdraw at any time.

The only other thing that I can think of is to publicly embarrass OM and your WW with a large trailer sign that says "OM leave Mrs Hog alone" and park it outside their place of work. Check with the legal vets here to verify if this is OK.

Certainly, don't harp about OM's. You are just a noise in WW's ears.

Constructively use your time to practice meeting EN's and avoiding LB's.

what's the point...you won't do it anyway.

CALL YOUR LAWYER AND GET THIS OVER WITH. FILE FOR DIVORCE. GET CUSTODY. IS THAT SIMPLE ENOUGH FOR YOU?

NO.

Do NOT Plan A this repeat cheater.

File for divorce and protect your kids.

Use the time you are coming here and doing nothing to meet with your lawyer and get this [censored] over with.

You should NEVER tell the wayward you are going to expose.

Now she has the opportunity to paint YOU in a bad light and tell everyone YOU are the crazy.

Have you no control over yourself?

Call her parents NOW.

Will exposure still work now? It it will I am ready to do it.

YES. CALL OR GO SEE HER DAD TODAY! GO TO HER JOB AND DELIVER EXPOSURE LETTER TODAY!

EXPOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You've got 5 bajillion people here telling you to and yet you STILL have to ask!?!?!

***edit***


CALL YOUR LAWYER. YOU are not protecting your kids and the longer YOU let this go on the worse it will be for them.

Call your lawyer. ***edit***

I know I made a mistake, but she would never think I would tell her work. I can control myself, but when she looked at me and said I care about him, I lost it. an as others have said I believe I have all of the proof of an inappropriate relationship (not jsut friends). I have come to that realization after last night and want to expose.

Where is the exposure letter template?

**edit**

Now you know. Now just do it. TODAY!!

I am not sure that I want a divorce/and then again I am not sure that I do not. I want to expose first and see what happens from there. I can always file D.

I just responded to you about D. I am not being fake. I have told everyone on this site what is going on.

Get... her.. involved!

You should not be doing chores while she is getting her fun texting the OM. Sit down beside her while she's texting and watch TV or do some other leisurely activity - When she asks about dinner, kids, laundry and stuff, say that you've asked for her assistance and you're waiting on it, and you refuse to be her maid for any longer.

Alternatively, do the stuff that you need to do for your kids and yourself ONLY, and leave her to take care of her own needs. REFUSE to do anything for her until she starts taking some responsibility for the family's needs.

In any event, it's time to put a stop to her cake-eating!

About the rest, she's acting like a typical WW, and you made a mistake by threatening exposure. That type of approach makes you look weak and vindictive. Just DO the exposure - let the chips fall where they may.

I understand.

I've lost it too, on occasion.

Let's get 'er done, then.

thanks! I normally would have paid the bills for the middle of the month last night, but I decided to see how long it takes for her to even realize that there are bills up there that are due by Friday. Do you know where the exposure letter template is?

I would put an end to the withdrawals she's making by sticking love notes in your lunch while texting ILU to OM. Take the notes out of your lunch and leave them on the top of the trash heap. If she asks, just tell her it's hard to believe when she spends all her time in the bathroom texting OM.

You don't want to see her as a liar and every time you get one of those notes you see the lie in her heart.

Plan A is not necessarily Plan Nice, or Plan Dishonest, or Plan Withhold Truth! Have you read about openness and honesty on the emotional needs list? You need to DO IT as part of any Plan A. Speak honestly. Not cruelly or angrily. Just honest. If she wants to get combative, say, "I'm sharing my feelings. My feelings are not negotiable." then leave the room and let her stew.

This is definately NOT standard MB procedure, but I think we, as a group, are guilty of ENABLING hf. We have advised, coddled, embarrassed, ridiculed, etc. and NONE of it has been effective.

Well, at some point we, as a group, need to re-evaluate and decide if it is effective to be doing the same things and expecting different results.

hf is his own WORST enemy (and that includes his WW). He is paralyzed by indecision and is FEEDING off of the differing advice he has received ... picking only the bits and pieces that ENABLE his continued indecision.

It is my opinion that our best course of action is to simply IGNORE hf UNTIL he takes some form of meaningful action to help himself ... otherwise, we are only contributing to the problem.

Many of us had to remove ourselves at certain times when our WW's ACTIONS didn't match their WORDS ... how is hf's "fog" any different?

It's ACTIONS vs. WORDS time, hf ... MAN UP OR SHUT UP!!!