Just emailed two of my friends to help look for an EL...in the meantime, why don't you begin drafting one on your own - jotting down what you think is pertinent, and we will help you pare it down or add to it?

If we can get this done by lunch, you can deliver it at lunch hour, then call her dad right after.

You can file divorce and not follow throught with it. Her being served divorce papers might just be the 2x4 to the head that she needs to knock some sense into her. File for divorce citing Adultery as the reason. You have enough records (cell from septermber) her and OM in the car, etc, to make a case. Or print off the paperwork and take it home to her. Show her you are serious and mean business and maybe she will quit treating you like a doormat.

I do not have enough for adultery. My lawyer ahs told me that, but I do have enough for someting that has to deal with the way that she is treating me.

My friend told me that Mel has a good exposure letter.

MEL! Quit working and LOGIN!

(snort)

Do whatever you want Hogfan...that's what you always do anyway.

Thanks!

I will, and it starts with exposure.

I did tell her last night, as long as you are going to tell OM "that is what I love about you" then to never tell me you love me again.

I think the person who suggested her notes go on top of the garbage hit the nail on the head.

Excellent suggestion.

Doesn't matter if you are just trying to scare the living $hit out of her. Is your wife a lawyer? If you do file and it won't stand, you can change it if you decide to follow through and get the Divorce.

So, I can't wait to read about your exposure by the end of today.

That's really tongue-in-cheek because you won't expose today.

What I am interested in reading is your EXCUSE for not doing it!

Now you're LYING to us.

Previously, you said your Lawyer said you already had enough to file using grounds of adultery, but it was YOU who wanted enough to expose to OMW.

You "SAID" you were exposing to FIL, but now its not even being considered.

You are the type of BH that just makes people, who are giving their free time to help someone that they don't know, but share a terrible bond with, just want to throttle you for your ineptness.

We understand "fear of the unknown" ... you forget, but we've ALL been there. We also understand lying VERY WELL. Just like our WW's lied to cover up their actions ... now you are lying to us to cover up your INACTIONS.

Do you ever wonder why some of the best that MB has to offer has washed their hands of you ... or even worse, have ridiculed your weakness?

Exactly.

Besides, who knows what is going to crawl out of the woodwork after exposure.

You might just get the confirmation that you need (one way or another).

No my w is not a lawyer. I am going to expose and then I am going to visit with my lawyer tomorrow afternoon.

I would hate to know what comes out of the woodwork. I questioned my wife about 4 years ago about a man (her boss) because that is all she ever wanted to talk about during conversations. Even when we were on family vacation that is all she talked about. I was working at night then and seen some phone calls to him outside of work. So I got tired of it and asked her what was going on. Then let it drop. That is what she is talking about when she says I accused her. When I think back this mess may have been going on this whole time with several OM.

I told you that my lawyer told me that I had to prove a pattern and then show some type of physical contact. That was the purpose of the PI.

It was nothing but one disrespectful judgment after another.
You've been told to expose, meet her ENs, and avoid LBs.
So you fail to expose and you LB all over the place.


Ya think?

Let's take a moment and see what you've been advised:

turtlehead, Nov 14:
Expose this new A.
Do not tell her you are going to do it, just do it.
Do not rely on someone else to pass on a message, do it yourself.

Expose to your parents, her parents, her work (not just her boss but HR and the CEO), your pastor. Expose to OMW again with hard evidence if you have any.

Mark1952, Nov 26:
When your WW tells people about her affair she tells them things like this:

Oh, there this guy that is has been just so helpful in getting me through all this stuff HF is putting me through. It's so nice to have friends you can count on at times like this. I mean HF gas been just so...unstable and acting all crazy and just not seeing that the problem is between him and me and has nothing to do with OM or anybody else for that matter...

And her friends and family say to her, "You poor thing. Dealing with an unreasonable husband and all, thank God you have such good friends as OM..."

That right there HF is why YOU have to expose the truth to them before she can spin all this crap and make you into a raving jealous lunatic.

turtlehead, Nov 26:
You call your parents, WWs parents, OMW, and toxic friend. You say:
"I believe you should know that WW is having an A with OM. I am determined to do everything in my power to repair my marriage and make it the best it can possibly be. I'd appreciate any support you can give WW, myself, and our marriage."

You go through the whole list, all at once, and expose to everyone in one fell swoop. You do NOT warn WW that you are going to do this.

Then you write the HR manager and the CEO of their company, and you send a certified letter saying that WW and OM are having an affair and potentially using company resources to conduct the affair - ML has a great prototype letter you can use.

rwinger Dec 4:
You need to use some hunting skills here. Stay quiet, keep your plan in place, no emotions, pull the trigger when the big buck comes around.

Full nuclear exposure when the trap has been set.

turtlehead, Dec 8:
Expose - massive, without warning, all at once

I know that I have waited to long. I guess that I was hanging on to that glimmer of hope, or maybe thinking that the notes she leaves, the messages she leaves, and now like today the I love you emails she sends were/are sincere. Just like after Om1 when she was doing those things every single day I realized they were not sincere and I do now as well. It never felt sincere the first time and they really do not now.

Have you at least begun the exposure letter?

Look, I know you want a template...but you also are wasting valuable time waiting for someone to post the link. You could at least be making bullet points of the things you need to express in the letter.

People here are not going to hold your hand and do it for you. BEGIN NOW.

Hand holding comes later AFTER you do what NEEDS to be done.

Your lack of REAL ACTION is wearing on nearly all who want the best for your girls and you.

I found this letter on another post and changed it a little to fit my sitch. I thought I would use this.


To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, via text messaging and during working hours. There could be potential for sexual harassment claims if this situation continues. If you check the call histories on their office phones along with their workstation computers, you should find that the two of them are using company time to further their affair.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate action.

Regards,


I know one of my W bosses pretty well. I think that I will mail it directly to him, or put it in his mailbox on my way home. Is this letter OK or shoudl it be tweeked more?