ah...that makes sense.

BC - the math major.


Just teasin', BC.


Fox

Hey, cajuns are good at math, we got lotsa shrimps to count

Yep! We have to count how many's in a pound!

Good thing we don't have to count that crawfish or the oysters!

Ma da be hard ta do!

Heh.. ok, well now that we've got the math 'story problem' out of the way, and we're on to shellfish.

Since we're on the subject.. I'll be needing 5 pounds of shrimp for kabobs and 3 pounds of crawfish for the etoufee I'm making for my 'I'm single again' block party I'm throwing to thank my friends and neighbors for coming to court for me next weekend.

If I've got any nor-easterners here on the thread, I could really use a connection for Maine Lobster.. just the tails this time though, I'm grillin.

Ahhh,,,,,,,hmmmmm,,,,,,,


Interesting I don't see any specifics, times, or directions included with this post??!!

Are "WE" not invited, too??????

James..now that the math problem has been resolved, I must say that you did very well to get the time that you did. I would suggest keeping a log of your days/nights with your son. It could prove invaluable should you ever need to re-visit custody.

Good job.

You should have said something sooner. I just fried 5 pounds of shrimp at the camp a few weeks ago. I also fried about the same amount of redfish and a half gallon of oysters.

My brother's camp is in Mississippi, so I HAD to wear my Larry the Cable guy outfit while frying

Now that would have a made a pretty sweet block party!

I do have a few pounds left in the freezer.

Hey, if you do find some shrimp to kabob, wrap em in maple bacon. Dems goooood! I like to do that and then brush on some honey bbq sauce.

I think I'm doin shrimp kabobs this weekend, LOL!

I live on a coast where people think the "OTHER" lobster is better.

But we who are from the east... understand the delusion they have with respect to lobsters..

How are ya doing today James.. Big game with DS this Sunday, yes?

I'm afraid it's possible my skins could lose to the Bengals.... :twobyfour:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!




Ok.. so today she figures is a good day to "negotiate" what my two overnights during the week are going to be.

Now most of you will remember there has been much discussion about Tuesdays and Thursdays during the week..

Well.. she makes the offer this morning in her initial volley from idiotville... Sunday and Wednesday on the weekends he would normally be with me on Sunday.. I am to drop him at daycare Monday and Thursday. On the alternating week where she has him on the weekends it is Monday and Wednesday. OR.. and she listed this one as her preferred alternative.. Monday and Tuesday.. so that DS doesn't feel like a chinese children's toy that goes up and down on a string.

At the end of the email she asks for my thoughts... so I suppose not yet being good at being divorced.. I thought this was an opportunity to actually share my thoughts and try to negotiate something we could both agree with..

I know I know.. I'll pause just a moment for those of you who have been divorced for a little while as you're totally entitled to your moment of

Well.. my 'thoughts' weren't all that divergent.. well ok.. my -first- 'thought' about what I'd prefer would probably violate ToS.. But it did involve a broken beer bottle and something like the back seat of a Volkswagon.. Snoogins..

But I sent back a little note about how I'd prefer not to alternate the schedule based on whose weekend it was and that Monday and Wednesday -every week- would be fine, but that I didn't consider Sunday to be a 'weeknight'.. and explained that I empathised with her chinese kids toy analogy but figured it'd be best for DS to have a relationship with us in person every day during the week rather than have to go more than a couple days without seeing either of us.

Nice and easy... I'm using the Monday Wednesday in her email.. OR... the Tuesday Thursday that we've been trying for since friggin JUNE!!! Ok.. I'm better now..


Soooooo

In the spirit of cooperation, the Ex decides to go on a tirade about chinese children's toys and how she only agreed to be flexible with the parenting time was because she thought I would be flexible about the days I got him.. and boo hoo how it was so unfortunate I just don't see things her way and how it sucks for her to have to come pick him up on Sunday because she can't bring Wonderscumbag.. that it'd be just so much better if we took a break from seeing eachother in person and did all the swaps at daycare.. oh.. and did she mention she wants the days to be consecutive?... OH and by the way I owe the daycare this week.

:RollieEyes:

My thoughts at this point are a little more PG-13.. but they typically begin and end with something resembling WTF???

So lemme get this straigt.. in the spirit of cooperation.. it's her way or the highway.. oh and somehow she was being altruistic and flexible with the additional days -because- she thought I'd take whatever she gave me.. had nothing at all to do with me essentially buying them from her for close to $20,000...

WTF is the whole thing about us needing to get along, but she feels like we need a break from seeing eachother in person blah blah blah???... Well.. -I- think wonderscumbag is worried a teensie weensie bit about what his scumbucket might be doing if she's allowed to go out by herself at night.. especially to her ex's place.. I mean.. he -totally- trusts her I'm sure.. and why shouldn't he? Of course she plays it off like it's an inconvenience to her for him to remove his olfactory sensor from the backseat of her Volkswagon..





So ultimately a little more back and forth and I'm an unreasonable [censored].. boo hoo if you don't do it my way we'll have to go see a judge to decide what nights you get him boo hoo sandy fagina blah blah blah.. Sundays suck so much because I have to drop off blunderboy and then pick him up again if we're out because you won't let him come to your house... blah blah

OH.. and by the way, the support amount was miscalculated.. you're still going to owe a stupid ton of support even though you're credited for 178 days... (We'll SEE about that.. I remember her A stating clearly for the judge the exact amount of weekly support we agreed I would pay)...


Soooooo



I figure.. ok.. it's not Monday to Wednesday every week.. but it IS Sunday and Wednesday on the weekend I have him.. and Monday to Wednesday on the week I don't.. it's one day removed from what I -want-.. Ok.. I can live with that..

So I say Ok.. and quote her origonal offer from this morning back to her..


Well guess what.. she doesn't like it.. but.. and I QUOTE!! "IN THE SPIRIT OF COMPROMISE" she'll agree to it..

WHAT?!??!?

Spirit of compromise my backseat of a Volkswagon!

And I've got a call into my attorney with explicit instructions that if her A wants to change the deal, they can kiss the whole thing goodbye and we'll duke it out... and for clarifiation on the daycare thing..

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh..

When do they stop being a pain in the Volkswagon?

Thanks, James, I needed that today.

Those stupid waywards - even when they lose, they don't know they lost. :RollieEyes: Or they don't think WE know they lost and they continue to try to bluff.

AS SL would say, DER DEE DER!!

Even when you give in to their way, they fight just to be able to fight. Might as well take a stand on what you want and fight for THAT.

Call her bluff.


and boo frickin hoo that Wonderscumbag can't come to your house. What the heck does she expect? It's not about her convenience, it's about DS.

I think it is HILARIOUS that she drops him off somewhere and then has to pick him up. hahahahaha!!

WxH has yet to bring Babs. I've been wondering if he'll push the issue since it isn't something a court can hold against him now.

Good for you for holding your ground. You don't need to see his ugly mug everytime you exchange your son.

Fox

I LOVE YOUr NEW ATTITUDE

YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF... DON'T GIVE ONE INCH....

For months you took it and you dont' have to anymore..

when they have a NEW VICTIM to TERRORIZE....

I'm dealing with the similar issue of my ex wanting to bring OW with him for child exchanges. He doesn't want to leave her somewhere then drop the kids off. Guess it's a similar WS trait.

It is. They try to make it "normal" and force BSs to accept it. You don't have to.

I didn't. One day WxH (when we were still married) brought OW with him to pick up our DDs. I refused to turn them over. I told him to take his trash elsewhere and then I would let DDs come with him.

He threw a stinkin' fit, but he drove away without DDs.

He's never done it again.


Fox

Remembering that little scenario always makes me smile. OW was sitting in the seat right beside WH while I stood at his window and told him to take his trash elsewhere.

I treated her like she didn't exist. Who talks to trash anyway?

He wasn't expecting me to be outside waiting for him. He had gotten used to Plan B and no Fox in sight. He thought he could just slip in, pick up DDs and be gone without me even knowing OW was with him.

He ought to know that fox are smarter than that.

Fox

In a situation where you are already divorced...such as the case with James...the BS should no longer impose such restrictions (the court may look very unfavorably on them should it rise to that level).

Rather, I would suggest a Plan B and have the pick up and drop offs handled either at day care or with an intermediary (James mother/father could possibly do this).

It is best to avoid conflict and to just get on with life. James best revenge will be living his life very well.

I was referring to sl77 in my response of not having to put up with OW being there for exchanges.

James will make his own call, but if WxH were to bring OW for pick up - I would refuse him again. Divorced or not.

Heh.. thanks for all the input folks, I really appreciate it.

I had to reopen negotiations on the schedule today since I'm not going to be able to reschedule a commitment I have on one of the nights we agreed to, but I'm giving her what she wants in that I'll take my two nights consecutively and she can choose which ones monday - friday, and I've made the offer to drop DS off at her apartment on Sundays.

It's time to do what it takes to de-escalate the conflict so that I can have some peace.

The only way to do that is to try and work with her as much as possible to come to an agreement we can both live with. Power plays by either one of us at this point isn't going to do anything positive for DS.

I just want this to be overwith.. have the decree in hand and start being able to get my finances and life in order to go forward.

I'm just curious as to why the courts would look unfavourably on this. My Wstbx tried this and so did OW to OWH. It is definitely a wayward tactic, but it's unbelievably cruel to the BS. One would think it's the homeowner's right to prohibit anyone from coming on their property for any reason. Why would the court see this differently?

Tabby.. judges want to see parents who can manage to get along, and to some extent will base many of their opinions on who has the best interest of the children in mind by looking at how cooperative and flexible they are towards eachother where it even remotely concerns the children.

You have to keep in mind, that while the letter of the law says there should be no bias.. particularly with Fathers, it is -just- as important if not moreso to be LIKEABLE by the judge than it is to always be technically and legally correct.