The letter needs to go to the Director of HR, a key company VP and her supervisor, with cc's on the letter. If you just take it to her boss, he may put it in the trash. If you take it to these ppl and do the cc's, they will resist that temptation.

But you have to expose to everyone else on the same day in order to get a strong effect.

I agree with the others that it is time to file for divorce. Your wife is a serial cheater who has been TRAINED - BY YOU - to eat cake. She knows you will not stop her. Here is post that Dr H wrote to another lady in similar predicament as you;

Tell her father- that should be your first line of defense. Tell him TONIGHT

So,tell us Mr. Hogfan...how'd that exposure go?

Oh wait, you didn't expose? Well, that was expected!

Maybe it's time you helped her text the OM? Maybe even open their doors as they meet in the parking lot?

So what happened with the exposure?

bump

So Hogfan, how did exposure go?

I think that the silence indicates either that he didn't expose or it went badly.

Hopefully, he'll consider calling the Harleys.

He sure doesn't need another beating here.

-ol' 2long

...or she broke the computer over his head for not being a doormat.

bump

I think he just doesn't want to come back because we're not being too nice. Would you? I know it's hard on me when people decide I need a few 2x4's.

I am starting to think he was right. he was making it all up.

Update:

First of all I have not made anything up. I came here to share my story and get help.

Now for the update. I have been laying low and dealing with my WW wrath after exposure. I exposed to HR at her work, her bosses, her father, her mother, her sister, and OMW. HR at her work told me that there was not much they could do unless it was affecting her work. I told them to check work emails. Her mother and father were kind of shocked that it would happen a second time and they are kind of on my side. I do not know what they are telling my WW, but they seemed to be supportive. My WW sister knew all about it and seemed to not think anything was wrong with what WW was doing. And for OMW she told me that she had already told me that she believed her H and to quit calling her. My final statement to her was "Lady you can keep you head in the sand if you want to, but you will see in due time"

I am no longer going to plan A this woman or plan B her. I am going to plan FU. After exposure my WW was extremely PO for 3 days, but then went right back to doing what she was and that is when I decided to go plan FU. I did speak with my attorney and papers are in the works. On his advice I have to stay in the home until she is served. And guess where she is going to be served (at work)

Now for what has been going on for the last couple of weeks. she still leaves her little notes in my lunch box and messages on my phone. She still trie sto get i the shower with me. The latest was a work christmas party that happened last friday. Guess who the first person to show up was. That is right OM. Guess who the last two were to leave WW and OM. When my WW got home I was furious because she was drunk and drove home. OM followed her all the way home. WW told me they slow danced together. That is when I took her phone and called OM and told him if you want her she is yours. My WW has no idea that I have D papers in the works. She still continues to play her games with her notes and I am playing right along with her until she is served, and my attorney tells me what to do next.

Now for everyone here that has told me to stand up it has been done. i feel like I took the action that I needed and I am asking everyone here for support through this tough time. This is going to be very hard on me because I do love my WW, but I have realized that I do not deserve to live like this any longer. I am not going to be with someone that is going to string me along and treat me like a piece of sh@#.

i commend you for standing up for yourself. when she gets filed, she may come to the realization of what is really happening and may try to make things right. however, it may be too late by that point. do you know when she will be served?

sorry for doubting you!

hf,

GOOD FOR YOU!!!

I'll admit that I "thought" you had left MB rather than stand up to your WW, but I "hoped" that you were just not posting until you had done something to help your situation. I'm very glad I was wrong.

We all understand how painful this is, but doesn't it feel good to stand up for yourself and take back some measure of control over your own life?

GOOD JOB ... let us know your WW's reaction to being served at work. Any idea when this will occur?

h and s, my rev - Thanks you for the reply. It does feel much better to stand up for yourself, but it stil hurts to do what I had to do. Everyone on MB has helped me muster up the strength to do what I beleive I had to do. I understand the concept of exposure, but my sitch it really did not do any good as I can see. My ww still claims that she is not having an A. I am not sure how she will react to being served, but I do feel like she believes that I would never do it. I have threatened it and now it is done. With the holidays hopefully it will be by the week on Jan. 26. I asked my WW Friday after she drove home drunk on a suspended liscens what she thought the law would do to her? She could have ruined her life and the kids as well. She said John that is the OM followed me home. And we all know what happens after 2 people slow dance together. All of that to me just nailed down in my heart and mind that me filing was the right thing for me to do at this point in my life. After 2 A's and all of the lies and secrets there has to be someone out there better for me. Someone who will respect the things that I give. But in the end it does really hurt and I know it will for a very long time because this has been my life for almost 17 years, and I know that I am not the one who threw it all away. My ww want to be free and do what she wants to do, and I do not beleive that is the way that a marriage works. A marriage takes work and she has not worked at it for over a year. In her own words if it happens it happens if not oh well. But what still gets me after all of the posts and responses is the fact that she still leaves I love you notes, I love you voice messages, I love you emails, and tries to get in teh shower with me. Even on friday before being with the OM all night dancing she did those things. I want to tell you all what was so sickening to me Friday. AFter I yanked her phone and called OM she came to bed and wanted to hold on me all night long, and then the next morning the same thing. On Saturday she was hung over all day long and did not get out of bed until 11:00AM and did not get off the couch until 7:00PM when supper was ready. While I took care of the kids all day. My youngest D asked me what was wrong with mom, and I told her she is paying for her play time with OM. I think my kids are starting to see how their mom has become.

Do waywards and drunks have any idea how stupid they sound? Apparently not. The only "good" he could have done her, by following her home, was to see the crash when it happened. How was exactly is THIS supposed to help, and what the heck kind of weinie excuse is that? A four-year old could do better...although the four-year old is unlikely to be drunk at the time!:RollieEyes: Too bad she didn't get the chance to try that particular justification for DWI, to a real Oshifer of the Law. Hic.

I'm so sorry for your troubles, HF, but no one person alone can save, or even maintain, a two-person relationship.

tl

I totally agree and that may have been the reason for my final decision to go straight to plan FU. As I have said in earlier psots. I tried something similar to plan A and it did not work. I know about cake-eating and gaslighting now, but why in the he77 does she still leave the notes, the messages, etc. Even Friday night after she got home from her play time she wanted to hold all over me. Even Saturday morning she wanted to hold all over me and was rubbing my face and kissing me like she has not kissed me in a long time and telling me how much she loved me. I just had the feeling it was out of guilt from what may have happened Friday night.

Guilt. Smokescreen. Cake-eating. Ace-in-the-hole. E) All of the above.

tl

Really sick. IMHO people who are that cruel need to find somone that will be that cruel back to them. I told my WW on Friday night that it would have served her and OM to have gone through a road block and got thrown in the tank together because that is where their life is fixing to be anyway. I also told her that would have been a good time for me to meet OMW at the jail if I would have even fcome and got you this time, but yet still wanting to hold me all night long. And now acts like this week that their is nothing wrong and life is good for her. She seems to be so happy and asks me what is wrong. I just reply with nothing. I think that her being served will be a big shock, because right now until she is I am just playing her game.

She leaves you notes because she BELIEVES that it's worked so far (to string you along).

Waynerd logic at it's finest...

Apparently SSDD means NOTHING to waynerds.

While I am sorry for your pain, I am EXTREMELY relieved that you are standing UP for your littles and yourself.

Big fat pat on the back from Texas.

(wish she was getting served sooner, tho...but eh...as long as it happens)