Just curious what folks in plan A are doing (or have done in the past) about holiday gifts this year? Going big, doing the usual, less then normal or nada. Types of gifts? Romantic, thoughtful, standard?

I have mixed feelings about what to do.

I am doing the usual gifts for my H. BUT if he has contact with OW again or leaves again after Christmas I am going to put them in the driveway and BURN them!

I did not realize if he had broken contact it was still considered plan A. I hope you dont need to burn

There was a thread on this last year. I suspect that there is probably one EVERY year.....

Anywho, I was in Plan A during the holidays and I remember reading for those in Plan A you should still do a present, BUT nothing over-the-top....(NO JEWELRY.....)....soooooooo...

I ended up getting him a sweater and a pair of pants. A couple of his favorite candies, and the for the thoughtful present I got him an engraved pen and letter opener for his office. I had his initials put on them and also how proud of I was of all he had accomplished in his work....

A show of apprieciation for what he has provided for the family and a token of love, but not a "I love you I'll die without you don't leave me" type of present.....

not2fun

I'm stuck on this one too.

Don't really want to buy WH anything, it's hard to come up with a gift when your heart isn't in it.

Thanks not2 for the 'appreciation' sort of gift, that is a good thought.

I'm wondering about how to interpret my gift...if it is elaborate will it mean guilt for an ongoing affair or will it mean true love for me ? hmm

NO EXPECTATIONS......don't "interpret" anything....If he gets you something, thank him and DON'T READ INTO IT....If he doesn't get you anything, don't LB. It's okay to be hurt, be don't let it ruin your day......

My H always made Christmas great for me. He didn't do much for anything else, but for Christmas he always went overboard, even the years there wasn't any money....

Last year was hard because he was WH. He told me he wasn't getting me anything. Well, he got me a candleholder (which was VERY VERY UGLY.....his mind was WAY wayward at this point....even showed in his taste...) some candles and a gift certificate. I just thank him and that was it. I WAS hurt over what he did get me, because it wasn't his usual style. But I didn't let him know it. Which is the point I am trying to make...just don't have any EXPECTATIONS. Your H has been taken over by some ugly nasty wayward drunked alien so just don't expect that because its Christmas your H will suddenly "show up"...because he won't.....

Enjoy the day with your family.....as hard as it is...

not2fun

Last year when Flick went shopping for my presents, he spent 3 hours with OW, then went into a 2nd hand shop and bought a cracked Cornishware bowl and a most ugly greenstone and pewter necklace.
I didnt mind the bowl so much as I collect corishware but I dont wear necklaces due to my metal allergy, except my gold cross on a chain from time to time when we go out.

I was hurt by what looked like a lack of thought and considering he had been gone several hours I was at a loss to explain why he had done it.
Of course I know now :RollieEyes:

OK, thanks for the 'heads up' , I know I would be stewing about it.

hey if it is a really good guilt gift like a mercedes or a blast of huge bling, I don't have to refuse do I ??? lol

not really looking for an answer!

Let me tell you, my WH was GREAT at the "guilt" gifts....I have a couch that I refer to as my "guilt couch"....I got that one after a bad fight and he actually said to me "I'm glad you found those emails because it gave me the balls to do what I should have done years ago and left you...".....4 days after C-day, he took my on a $700 spending spree...ALL ON ME...(in fact while we where shopping he said "I hope you aren't reading too much into this. I just wanted to be nice....". I gave him a peck on the cheek, laughed and said "nope, no reading into it...I figure its a guilt spree...."......

So, I personally would say take them and enjoy them, but don't EXPECT them because they really don't happen all that often....

not2fun

XWH bought me some victora's secret lingerie while shopping with OW and her then fiance. Oh, that reminds me I need to go burn something.

[quote=sl77]XWH bought me some victora's secret lingerie while shopping with OW and her then fiance. [/quote





Mine bought HER the lingerie....THEN when I found out said it was for ME....but I was being such a B that he took it back..... ....

not2fun

If I may make a suggestion :

Make a donation to a charity in the wayward's name and that's ALL!

That's funny....

Last year I bought my WW a $250 GPS unit for her car becaus she's terrible at navigating and always gets lost. Then she told me she was moving out. I took all of her presents back and got a refund and spent the money on the kids presents. Three days after christmas was D-Day.

I'm glad I didn't buy her anything.

ok I am going for a donation in WS name, that is a great idea !

since there would be no 'heart' in anything I would get him, a gift like that would have some purpose and good, fabulous idea, I love it!

i'm thinking a local woman's shelter

thanks pepperband

these posts make me chuckle...and that is good to do in light of the circumstances,thank you all

I would lean not to get WS anything at all. Two weeks before ILUBNILWU, I ordered WW a $1000 pair of custom riding boots as a 10th anniversary present. 7 week lead time would have them at around anniversary date. Anyways, before the boots arrive, I get the speech, then find her in bed naked with OM. Boots arrive and she decides to keep them!

I think I am going to go down the nothing route.