No point in reposting letters and stuff

I have all necessary work email addresses
Chatted with W about hoilday schedule at her work...most of the bosses will be in. Should I wait until all boses will be in? I have a family member who is gonna call there over the next couple days to "ask" if Mr Smith will be in between xmas and new years to come in and see him....if not when will he be back?

I have all addresses saved for the mailing of the family letter. Should I put a date in the letter as to when I know of their last contact?
I have her IC info as well...should I mail one to him? I really get the feeling she is lying to him!

OM family name is real unusual.....should I invest energy to find his parents only? I found his brother on FB...should I send it to all names like his?

I would do it all today or Monday if you can. Having it blow up in their faces before Christmas will make it more potent.

When you go to the company, make sure you cc all the other bigwigs, so they know everyone else knows. That way, they can't sweep it under the rug, or they'll get canned for ignoring it.

Send it to IC. I'd do a little more checking about the other people with the last name though. But do send it to his brother. Definitely find his parents.

Don't use the date of last contact - too much info. Just say that it is ongoing.

double ditto on finding the parents! Exposure to his parents will be a warning shot across the bow!

Monday is too soon...her company is an ABC and associates...B and C are gone. "Thug" friend is not fully briefed.
Leave out the date of last contact...got it.

I have a hunch about the parents...I will call to verify. I will use the "are you the parents of OM who works at ABC...thank you...we are updating our records" speech.

Carp, if that is the case, then you might as well just tell them on the phone while you have them! That way they can hear your voice and answer any questions.

Melody....I don't want to start "story time" and possibly lose the Texans!! LOL.
The letter has the facts....if they want more THEY can call me.

Couple thoughts and a little journaling.
1. Been reading alot of threads about exposure and the aftermath. I may be in a better spot then most because I filed first and for custody. Since I did file she cannot take the kids anywhere without consent. This might be a good thing to do BEFORE the stick part of plan A!! Thoughts??

2. I see alot of spouses who still react with alot of emotion....I am mostly past that point. It almost seems like that's where a spouse should be BEFORE the stick part again. Thoughts??


Little snooping verifies contact between W and OM...I never say a word.

Friday night was nice in our house...stuffed pizza and some TV watching as a family. D9 slept with W....no contact with OM while she was laying in bed....I hope.

Saturday morning W and I went out for breakfast and the shopping for Xmas dinner food. After this I had counseling with our MC....told W MC wanted to chat with her abit. We talked about the last couple weeks and the calm in our house as well as Xmas and stuff. MC chatted with W for about 15mins...then it was my turn. MC said W seemed "determined" that what she was doing was rite and that W doesn't "love" me anymore. I told of course she can't love me.....she thinks she is in love with OM!! I told her that A is still on going and told her of some events from recent weeks. I discussed my "exposure" plan with MC and where the idea came from. She had a kind of puzzled but interested look on her face. We went over the letters and stuff....she said they sounded good. She recommended not saying any more about the A to the kids....parental alienation was her concern on the legal front.

I shared my plan with another pro exposure friend....he thinks confronting OM might make me look weak and elevate OMs importance. He is also worried about me keeping my cool. The fact that another party would be present and the camera was a good idea. He thought all the other steps were spot on!! He went thru a similar sitch about a year ago.

When do you plan on meeting up with the OM? I don't understand what your friend means about "looking weak" because if you WERE weak, you would be afraid to face him. His fear makes no sense.

What is your timing on the exposures?

And about the kids, we have never had a parent who got into legal trouble for telling their kids the truth and giving them MORAL GUIDANCE. No matter what a court says, you still have a parental RESPONSIBILITY to tell your children the truth. You are not absolved of your parental duties just because you fear legal hypotheticals. You have to keep in mind here that Dr Harley is a clinical psychologist with 35 yrs experience at this. He is a little more qualified than your MC, I would guess.

Just voicing other opinions Mel. I want to confront OM....gives me a warm feeling inside thinking about it!!!

This morning me, W and D9 spent about an hour chatting away and drinking coffee (not D9). W sat on the floor in my bedroom while I laid in bed.

FYI
Whenever we interact lately I look good...smell good...i am confident when is speak, polite, funny, warm and listen well when W is talking. I am the picture of good husband...I have been acting this way for a couple weeks. W has even commented about the "new" me over the last couple months. Hell...I even make my bed everyday!!

Does this seem proper actions leading up to the "stick"?

First thing monday morning I am gonna call Ws work to find out big bosses work schedule for the holiday week. Once I get a confirmation on all 3 being in on a certain day/days confrontation with OM will be the day before. Letters/emails will be timed for the next morning.

Awesome!

Your 1 word "Texas style" answer.....leaves me hangin!

Had a chat with the friend who I wanted to take to OMs house. He wants no part of it. His main concern is that these actions will make me look crazy/unfit to parent my kids in the eyes of the legal system. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I should consult my attorney before proceeding with exposure?!

I can't really say about confronting OM legal-wise, but I can't imagine how you talking to him can't have a beneficial effect on stopping the A. He's a predator, and a weak person; you're likely to scare the crapola out of him; most people simply don't confront others any more.

Have you found any other things to do to make the A more nasty and smelly and embarrassing? Ways to make it public? Church, friends, holiday get-togethers? You need to keep pushing this, proving that you won't stand for it - that she may not choose you, but you'll be sure she doesn't choose him, either.

Why not just go alone? I don't think there is any risk of you hitting him, do you? You don't need to consult an attorney to go have a talk with a man. Let's get real here.

btw, your friend has no idea what he is talking about. Talking to a man who is having an affair with your wife does not make you an "unfit parent." People do this all the time. Good grief. Having an affair is a sign of an unfit parent, though.

Be civil and ask him what his intentions are with your wife. Tell him you fully intend to have him hauled into court to testify about his adultery in the stand in the future.

Have you exposed to his parents yet? I would get that done before Christmas so they can spend the holiday discussing his affair with a married woman.

Suggestion, please find LESS FEARFUL [gurl] friends. There is a difference between discussing reasonable risks and manufacturing outlandish hypotheticals. Your friends are in the LATTER category.

The notion that having a civil discussion with this man is going to a) make you look "weak" and b) cause you to lose custody of your kids is LOONEY and overwrought. Carp, you really need to stop scaring yourself like this and move forward. You are in a very tough spot and risks will have to be taken in order to shake things up. You can't afford the luxury of allowing FEAR to drive the boat here.

Dr. Harley has been doing this for 35 years, and is a licensed psychologist. He recommends causing as much trouble as possible for the OM. The problem here is the affairees have operated under conditions with no conflict. That needs to CHANGE.

Go have a come-to-Jesus with this man. Look the man in the eye, don't shake his filthy STD hand, and ask him what his intentions are with your wife. Let him know that there is no future for him with your wife because he will be eternally hated by your children and your in-laws. Let him know that he will be subpeonaed in an alienation of affection lawsuit if it doesnt stop.

This is long overdue, Carp.

Meloday and Cat

I am not afraid!! I am just posing questions that other people have that I have not thought of. I have 1 thing that cannot be taken away or fog babbled/spin put on.....the TRUTH!!

If OM parents question me....I have a true encounter between OM and my W...told by my W that involves OM family!!

Employers question me
Why would I risk slandering myself....ask OM and W to provide proof of my story.....

Ws family
I can site recent events to prove myself

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say I thought you were afraid. I was just saying that it seems to be stagnating, so you might want to look into ways to shake things up and keep putting more pressure on them.

No problem Cat.
Things seem to be stagnant...but they are not. "Good" pressure is coming from me (carrot)...... Timing for exposure is still being worked on. Letters are written...addresses are in hand....2 bosses schedules need to be verified....that will happen within the hour. I want Xmas to pass for Ws family...hammer will drop ASAP after that.