You got it SB,

Call me selfish, but I want it all.



- TTM

Take it slow with both the wife and your DD. Show steady progress with each. Now is not the time to rush to a goal. Your relative restraint in not applying any pressure at this point will produces dividends for you. Now's the time to be the man you want to be and to demonstrate by example.

Good luck!

wow, talk about a lot happening. Yesterday W and I had court, but since we had already had an agreement drawn up, we didn't have to go before the judge. We sat outside and chatted with each other, joked and even laughed a bit. When our attorney's were done, we went to get a drink and something to eat. We laughed and drank a few beers and had a general good time.

We ended up getting a sitter for our son and spent the evening together at my house, laughing, having dinner, and ect.

She spent over an hour 'testing' me, telling me that we were no good together, that I was wrong for her, ect. I just sat and listened. Later in the evening she asked if I had anything I wanted to say. I shared some of my frustrations and past hurts with her. We both reserved the right to bring the topic up again, if needed.

At the end of the evening, we hugged and kissed very passionately. I held her while she cried.

Taking it slow, taking our time.

All in all another really great bonding experience between us.

I'll keep you all posted.

- TTM

So much has happened in the past few weeks, that I don't need to chronicle it all here. Some ups some downs, a lot of listening and validation on my part. I've realized that I was not very good at being vulnerable to my wife, so I, with her encouragement opened up and let it out. What a great bonding experience for us both.

Today I signed the legal separation paperwork, so that is going to happen, whether the divorce actually happens, remains to be seen. At this point it looks doubtful that we will actually divorce.

We have been working together remodeling the apartment at her house, and making it nice for the next tenant. That's been fun, but I've had a lot of work to do on realizing my own limits and boundaries. Great stuff.

I'm falling in love with her again, and she with me, I feel it, I can see it in her eyes.

I'm taking it slow, and not pressuring her, but I'm starting to think it's only a matter of time before we're together again.

So much to tell as far as details go, but suffice it to say, I've had a lot to learn about being a great communicator and husband. She has too, and we've both been doing the work.

Keep you all posted,

- TTM

Well, things between W and I have steadily improved week by week. I'm getting a real good sense of what it takes to consistantly work toward intimacy with each other. Being open and honest and what that looks like to each of us.

I think at Christmas time I'm going to ask her to marry me again, and start serious discussions about moving back in.

Right now we've hit some bumps in the road, but are doing really well communicating...

Too many details to spell it all out...

All in all, it's good, really good.

Thank you to everyone that supported me though this...

- TTM

Way to go TM I have been wating for you to post. looked like it could go ether way. I am very happy for you, after all you both have been through.

YEAH TTM,

I'm so glad when I get to read stories like yours where things are turning around for the better. And from a man's point of view so that maybe it will help me in my relationship in learning how to express myself better to a man!

Thanks just for coming and sharing your story with us all!!

RMW

I just wanted to pop in and give another update to my situation.

My D was final November 25th. EW and I decided to see it through.

Truth is we are closer than we have ever been. A few ups and downs, and all in all, really good stuff.

She's going to be moving into my house after the new year and for now we've decided to not re-marry, but live together as individuals.

Life is good, and again thanks to everyone on this board for the love and support I found here.

Merry Christmas to all.

- TTM

Thank you, TTM, for your update and remembrance to those here.

Don't forget to thank yourself, God and your partner, 'k? We don't do it alone, IMO.



Happy Holidays,

LA

I was looking through old threads.
After reading Buyers Renters and Freeloaders this thread is an excellent example of how a buyer downgraded to Renter status, with step by step details of how it happened.