GREAT POINTS, Kayla, about Bugsy acting GRACEFULLY...AND about V..although Bugsy just might not be ATTRACTED to him for whatever reason...

BUT I'm not sure how opening the gift would be "WOUNDING INTO HER HEART"??? Would it, Bugsy?

I'm saying that it's JUST a piece of TRASH...and should be seen and treated as SUCH by her...regardless of what it IS or what it COST..

THINK... "What's this JUNK doing here..cluttering up my WONDERFUL LIFE?"...YUCK...

Bugsy,
I am glad to hear that V is okay. What a shock for his family. Did you gain any perspective from that moment? Just curious.

As for Drac's maroonic move, I can only tell you what I would do in the situation.

I would place the teddy bear and it's accompanying smelly thingys, along with the Ho2's present, back in the box they came in--send it ALL back to Drac.

I wouldn't accept anything from the Z.

WOW!!

I just love how a request for assistance brings such a response around here!!! Love you all & can't say thank you enough for all of your responses!!

First, hey, Mimi!! Great to hear from you!!

Second, I would like to offer an "Offical"

WELCOME

to DGS!! I feel so honored to have you post to me! I am sure I don't need to tell you what a catch you have in Chris! He is one special guy, who means a great deal to so many of us around here.

Thanks for your support & advice! I take it quite seriously, as Chris obviously thinks a lot of you, we all know how special YOU are, too! Welcome.

I'll be honest, I'd pretty much decided already what to do with the Ho2 gift before my post,,,,but sincerely needed some other opinions. I value each and every one of them.

I 'did' try to slip up some of the tape to take a peek at what the gift is,,,,,,,,,but then changed my mind.

My kids DO know that it is here and they WILL end up telling Drac. As was said, what is the HIGH ground position to take? I won't teach them that it is ok to take something that is not 'meant' for you, no matter what the horrific circumstances are that you have it are.

I intend to hold on to it. It is stuck away in the back of one of my closets. I seriously doubt that Drac will have the nerve to ask for it back. However, if Ladybug would happen to ask for it, I want to be able to have it to give to her. Not for Drac's sake,,,,,not for Ho2's sake,,,,,but for my daughter's sake.

To teach her that one can do the right thing, even when a 'wrong' has been done to you.

So, we shall wait to see what, if anything, happens.

If it has not been requested to be returned by my birthday next month, then it will have transformed into a Happy Birthday Bugs gift and I'll be sure to let you all know what I get!

Honestly, I am not so concerned that it is going to be something that will be a further wound to my heart. I mean think about it,,,,,,he's already given "himself" to how many countless other women since he left (and even before he left?). What material gift could be more 'giving' or hurtful to me to know that another woman has??

Yes, initially it will likely hurt but I am feeling less and less that it would be anything more than a flesh wound to me now. Especially from a man that would so thoughtlessly allow this 'mix up' to happen in the first place. He cares not one iota for me or my feelings.

SL, I would love to do as you suggest and send the whole thing back, but that would be hurtful to DSS and Ladybugs, as the gift is supposed to be from them to me. I can at least hope that perhaps Drac feels a tiny bit of shame after seeing what I helped the kids to get for him. DSS specifically called me last week and asked me to get something for Drac that Drac had told DSS he wanted (dog tag necklace with the kids names/birthdays engraved on them).

Did I 'want' to do it? Hell, no!! Did I do it? Absolutely. It was for DSS and Ladybug, not for Drac. THAT is what I want my kids to remember about Christmas when they are older. THAT is the kind of thing that this holiday is to be about - - the GIFT God gave to us with the birth of His Son is more than anything we could ever give to one another. But a gift given that includes some sacrifice means something more, IMHO.

Again, thanks everyone for your input! I will tell you that there is not ONE single post here that didn't include something that crossed my mind at one time or another in this situation!!!

I even thought about opening it and then taking it to work and 'presenting' it to her in the middle of the office!! Especially if it is of a 'personal' nature!! Now THAT is what this Goddess would do IF it were not for my kids.

Well, if it's a gift from your kids, then I completely understand not sending it back. I thought it was meant to be from DRAC.

Carry on...

That's my Bugsy!!..we are such soulmates...

POWER TO THE GODDESSES!!

I bet you did, PM... ...and leaving it to our WILD imagination is what I would call how to be 'effective with the least amout of effort'

Oh the ideas, the ideas, the ideas! I'm sure we could write a book!!

I just had to pop in and tell ya'll something,,,,,,it's a bit funny,,,,

I had to look up some things on line this afternoon & for some reason, I felt a nudge telling me to check on Drac's match.com activity (something I haven't done in ages!).

Guess who was "On Line Now!"??!!



I "almost"feel sorry for Ho2!

Aha! You "ESP-ed" him!!

That still happens to me with Gray, too, but I don't read much into it since it happens with everyone else as well!

Charlotte

Bugs, it's my turn to be late to the party, but I would have sided with Mark, PM, and SL. The high road. Drac continues to plumb new depths on the low road.

I hope that soon you are Done with this [censored]. You are so much better than he is and deserve so much more than he can ever offer.

Bugs

Hi Bugs! I like your ideas on the gift! I got a coffee mug from POWS for Christmas...it has Louisiana on it purchased at a convenient store as a after thought...it was sitting on the counter in the kitchen this afternon when I was cleaning...

I thought about throwing it away but first I asked the kids what the story was behind it...apparently the kids asked POWS if he was getting me anything for Christmas and they purchased it there...POWS told me where he got it and that he was running low on cash... How about getting a job buddy?!?!?!?!?

I didn't throw it away right then and there becasue the kids asked him what he was getting me...I didn't get him anything...MOF, after he gave it to me, I told him that I didn't get him anything because all Xmas shopping pretty much stopped after I found out that he lost his job...

After reading your thread, I think that I will hold on to it for a while and then trash it...POWS appeared concerned that I would like it...I said that I did and that it didn't matter what the gift was that it was the thought behind it...for once his story matched the kids...he even told the kids not to tell me where he got it from but then he told me...I guess he's embarrassed about alot of things in his life! :twobyfour: Should have thought about that! Oh, well!

I can tell you that reading here about the things that the XWS do is amazing!! Absoletly amazing! Will wonders never seize!

Hey SD!!

You are welcome at any of my 'parties' at anytime!! Thanks for joining in the 'fun'!

I only 'wish' I were done with that 'jack-o-lope', too! Unfortunately, you know I never will be able to be completely rid of him since we do have children together. I supposed he'll just have to be one of those crosses I am forced to bear for life. The good news is that he has become so totally ridiculous, the weight of the load has lifted a great deal.

Rin,,,,,, A coffee cup? WOW! I thought old lady bath products were lame!! :crosseyedcrazy:

I'm sorry to say that no,,,,I don't think that when it comes to the crazy antics of waywards and ex's that wonders will ever cease! :crosseyedcrazy:

Bugs

I too am late to the party, but since I don't have kids--this would have been my vote

But the high road is more fitting for a goddess such as yourself.

Happy holidays!

Smartie

Bugs:

I'm SO Glad that "V" was ok....

I hope that you have had some opportunity to talk to him since that night.

I need to play some "devils advocate" for a minute for Drac.

Yes, Drac is a stupid WS. It's a trait. But do you really think he was so stupid as to have wrapped up H02's gift with yours?

Sorry. I'm not buying it.

Example: You wrap ONE GIFT, and then you set it aside. Then you stick ANOTHER GIFT in a box to wrap it. HOW would they get together? He was carrying all the gifts in the your BOX? And forgot to remove it?

Drac may be stupid, but even this is hard to believe. Anything is possible, but this one has an angle.

Could Drac have wrapped two gifts, same paper, about the same size, one for Bugsy, and one for HO2? He put your gift 2, (from him..) in with Ladybugs and DSS's gift to you?

DSS and Ladybugs never saw the "two" gifts?

They only ever saw the gift for HO2?

Now, I'm a guy, and I hate to wrap.... Could Ladybugs, or DSS, done the wrapping and have made the mistake?

You described the scene, and the limitations of the internet and time certainly didn't allow you to tell us the whole interaction. But DSS and Ladybugs certainly didn't volunteer any info after that box was opened.

What IF ladybugs and DSS DID wrap or have a hand in helping with the wrapping it for Drac, could you imagine what position they are in right now?

You could have asked a number of questions and it is perfectly clear to you that DRAC did all this and it is his singular mistake. Like I said, I'm playing devils advocate here.

So, I will ask again: "What IF ladybugs and DSS DID wrap or have a hand in helping with the wrapping it for Drac, could you imagine what position they are in right now?" Especially DSS.

IF your good, GREAT! If not, don't just presume that he stupid cuz he's wayward. He might have gotten you something else.

LG

Hey LG!

I always love it when you chime in with a slightly different 'take' on things!!

No, I really don't think he's that stupid,,,,,,,,,,,but you are also talking to the woman who never believe he would cheat! :crosseyedcrazy:

There may be an "angle" but I certainly don't have a clue as to what the purpose would be!!

While it is 'possible' for him to bought me & Ho2 the same thing, I seriously doubt it. I can't picture him buying me anything 'just from him',,,,,

The kids were certain that the second box is for Ho2. I am sure he showed them what he'd bought & they were positive as soon as they saw it what it was and WHO it is for.

DSS and Ladybug may have had a 'hand' in wrapping it,,,,,it is possible. But, I did specifically ask before I starting opening it "Who wrapped this?". Their answer was immediate and I am certain it was honest that "Daddy did". Further, it was easy to tell from the 'quality' of the wrapping job that neither of them wrapped it.

I am certain that if they had a 'hand' in it, and realized that it was 'their' mistake, Ladybug would have come forth with the information. It is one of those things that she would not have been able to keep to herself, even if/especially if she knew it was 'her' fault and that my feelings were hurt because of it. Oh, and if it was DSS, Ladybug would have also let that information fly with no need for prodding.

Yes, I could have asked more questions, but I didn't. All I had to do was look at both of their faces,,,,,,,,,,,,neither of them could have hidden it from me if they'd been involved.

Yet,,,I realized in reading your post that anything is possible. I'm willing to keep an open mind.

Frankly, the possibility that he bought something for me without the kids knowing did not even occur to me. Why would it? Why would he? I just can't bend my imagination far enough to make that leap. Those days are gone. And, I think that is a good thing.

At the furthest, we will find out in 18 days what it is and maybe knowing what it is will give me a clue,,,,,,,,,,or not. Time will tell. Til then, I've crossed it off my list of things to think about.

Drac emailed about the 'schedule'. Apparently he emailed last night and again this morning. As I'm 'off' work, I hadn't checked email, so he sent a text this afternoon asking me to check email when I 'have time'. Seems he's wanting to send Ladybug back to me on Saturday night, even though he is supposed to have her til Monday.

He's "trying to be nice",,,,,,,,,,,,,yeah whatever. I don't believe it. I'm sure he as 'plans' for Saturday night and needs a sitter, that's why he's in such a hurry to confirm the schedule. I replied that I can't have her back Saturday, but I would take her Sunday. I was 'pleasant' about it, but I'm sure he'll be unhappy & it will be ME making it "impossible to be nice" yet again. Oh well.

Today was an absolutely beautiful day here, so I spent most of it outside. Ladybug helped me clean the inside of the car. It was so much work that I decided to just go to the automatic car wash for the outside!!

About V. We've had some heart to heart conversations this last week.

He hasn't listened to me for quite some time about where I stand. He admist that he's done it, but it is 'because he cares so much for me'. On the surface that may seem 'sweet',,,,,,,,but it doesn't make it ok for him to ignore my boundaries.

I care for him, but I am not in love with him. The 'pressure' of this situation has made the relationship uncomfortable and unworkable for me. I finally had to be blunt to the extreme with him about where I stand and I know he is not happy.

It is very important to me and I'm determined to keep my boundaries in any relationship I have. I didn't do so well with that last time and I'm not making the same mistake again. I don't like to see anyone disappointed or hurt, but there was little choice in this case.

I'm thinking the last year of being single/alone wasn't all that bad,,,,,,,,,,,,Lord knows it was much less complicated!! haha!

Bugsy:

Something about that gift thing seemed a little "off" to me.

I could just be Drac being careless.

Whatever.

Let us know about the phone call looking for it.....if ever.

To much persistance from "V"? Understand, its something worth persuing for "V", right?

Sorry you had to be blunt, but us guys can be hard-headed.

And he has invested in it, and he can surely be disappointed that he isn't seeing a return. However, it seems that you have let him know all the way along that your just sticking your toes into this relationship. But as we all have learned around here on MB, these statements can be ignored.

Oh well.

I hope you have a wonderful new year!

I might be rather scarce around here for the next 4 months. Considering what I do....

Good luck!

LG

:happynewyear:

:happynewyear:

Hope everyone had a fun & safe New Year Celebration! I can't wait to hear what everyone has been up to, so please get those updates in ya'll!!

As for me, the first thing is to let you all know who wins the prize for most accurate post on the Christmas gift,,,,


Apparently DSS discussed it on the phone with Drac and informed me when I was taking them over to Drac's New Year's Eve that it 'was for you. There were 2 boxes the same size & shape,,,Ladybugs and I got it wrong'. So, I opened it when I got home. It is a wine stopper from Disney World, apparently they bought it on the trip. It's actually quite nice and something that Drac knows I would really like. Now, without it being something with my name engraved on it,,,there is that small chance that it wasn't really meant for me - - but I really don't care one way or another. It's overwith in my mind.


I spent a quiet New Year's Eve with the cats & the dog. I was really quite content.

V is still texting and calling. Wish he wouldn't as it is making me uncomfortable. I was totally, completely up front & honest with him from day one. I was straight forward recently in telling him that I do not want to see him anymore. He's not 'getting' it for some reason?? I'm not sure what to do about it. It's not that he's dangerous or anything,,,,just persistant despite what I've said.

I SO much do not want to go back to the "REAL" world tomorrow with work & school schedules. So, as soon as Ladybugs gets home we will be having pedicure night for our last day of relaxation!

I am going to go get things set up for her.

Hey Ma-ve-lous Bugs,

Wishing you much happiness and success in 2009.

Hey, Bugs

Glad the New Year is going well for you, but sorry about V. How about

"V, I appreciate your persistance and understand that guys sometimes think that they can prove themselves this way, but what you're doing right now isn't going to change my mind. It's only going to make me more uncomfortable, and I don't think that's what you have in mind, so I hope you'll back off. I'm really sorry, but I'm just not interested."

Or something like that.

EPH!!! Hey there!!

God Bless you, sweetie!! Thanks for stopping by! Hope all is well with you and yours. May this year be wonderful for you as well!


Thanks SD for the suggestion! I'll be talking to him sometime today. Not sure exactly what I'll be saying, but am sure it will be similiar to what you wrote.

Have a great week everyone!!