Don't answer the text's unless its about the kids.

hogfan,

She is picking up on your distant vibes. Redoubling her efforts to keep you in place. DO NOT fall for it. You've been here before. She will freak when she is served--good dose of reality. Watch what she does in the weeks after she gets that paper.

The only acceptable action on her part would be to ditch OM, agree to counseling and start acting like a wife. I wouldn't count on it, but it's possible.

Watch.

Maybe she is trying to set a pattern of "showing that she was really trying in your marriage" with all the text messages she is sending you about "I love you", what do you want for dinner....blah blah blah....along with the trying to get in the shower with you....coming on to you romantically, et..... and when questioned about it she will say....I was really trying and you continued to turn me down so I sought comfort from this other man.....That is just a thought.

I did not answer the texts.

I feel like she is picking up on the distance as well with all of the texts and emails all of a sudden. after she is served all I can do is set back and watch.

Yeah, that could always be her excuse for the OM, but I have documented things well. Everything that happens everyday I have documented on my computer at work.

Well, last night did not go well. I cooked dinner and there was not very much conversation until she asked me if I wanted to go to a New years eve party. I told her no I wanted to spend it with the kids and the last time I went to a party with her at this persons house I had to actually carry her to the truck, carry her in the house, and then pick her up out of the bathroom floor after she had passed out. And the next day she did not get off the couch until supper was ready. So no I did not want to go to the party. Then I told her all she wants to do is party. I told her that I would go and get the kids from mil house and take them with me to my moms and she could go and party all she wanted. She told me that I was not going to kid the kids that they were her kids. Just trying to push my buttons and it worked. An arguement insued and then all of the things that I have had bottled up about "John" came out. I talked about how wrong it was to be txting him all of the time, how wrong it was to be dancing with him, and how wrong the whole mess was. I told her that with OM1 it was sex surveys, presenting opportunities, and how much she begged me for my forgiveness after I found out, and now this time she had taken it to the next level with the hiding, dancing, texting, and who know what else. All she said is here we go again with a year ago. But in the end nothing I said made a difference because we are just friends is all I get back. She told me that if it was February she would leave. That is when she gets all of her drivers liscense back. I told her that is all you are using me for, and why wait you ahve been driving around anyway. She told me that she was going to call her mom to come and get her. I should have jsut went along with her then had my filing changed to abandonment. She asked me why I did not leave and I told her that I was not going anywhere. She layed down ont he couch like she was going to sleep there. I went to bed and she later came to bed holding on me all night long. This morning she tried to climb in the shower with me. AFter she got out of the shower I was in the kitchen getting ready for work and she came up there wanting to hold one another. She has not done that in months. Then when I got to work there was another message on my phone. I have to stick to my course. She is so far in la la land that she does not even know what she is saying. When she said she was going to call her mom to come get her she said she did not want anything in the house all she wanted was the girls.

Oh I have a teen and a tween and STILL not that many texts.

But a 40 year old WOMAN with a job and kids texting that much?

HF - The copy of the bill showing the amount of texting can be shown as PROOF that you should be suspicious of her...

Ask your lawyer. We kept records of EVERYTHING OW said and did...and because we kept those records we could prove that our house was better than hers for raising the children.

That's what I think, WOC.

She's gonna poop a monkey when she's served...and then she's going to turn it all around on HF and say that SHE has been trying, but he hasn't...which is BUNK!

He tried for years and she only tries for a couple of weeks?

Bunk.

She can try that if she wants to, but I have the document from the last counselor where she is the one who had quit conseling. so my attorney is not going to buy the bunk of all of the ily's.

Soooo-EEEE!

You go, HogFan!

what are your thoughts about what happened last night. Just another reason to do what I have done.

My thoughts are that she is beginning to suspect that her ploys to keep eating the cake WITH a side of ice cream are *perhaps* not working so she's upping it by trying harder.

I noticed that even tho she asked you what you wanted for din-din, YOU still cooked it.

What.

A.

Schmo.

She is for even offering it, but then not doing it.

What a half-you-know-whater. She can't even follow thru on cooking dinner?

What? Are her fingers all tuckered out from texting?

(can you tell I get a little miffed on people who don't do what they say they're gonna do?)

Ug. Your ww makes me want to kick something.

She makes me want to hit something. Preferably OM. I have become so frustrated in dealing with her. i am so tired of it and just want to get own with life so I can recover. I know in the end that I will come out of this a better/smarter person for what I have learned during all of this. Don't get me wrong I have made my mistakes in the marriage, but I have learned from them. I guess my ww telling me that she made a teribble mistake with OM1 she did not learn from it. Maybe papers will show her that I mean business. No more threatening it it has been done.

I agree, but wifeofacoach might be on to something too. Using it as "justification" that she "tried everything."

Obviously, she DIDN'T try everything. Mainly the thing that would've made the difference--ditch OM and put her total focus on you and your marriage. But the wayward mind sees things differently...

Even after everything that was said last night. I just received another email from my ww telling me that she was thinking about me and it had an ily attachment to it. How or do I respond to her email?

Just a thought, and feel free to throw something at me, but what if you took her up on all her offers?

What if the two of you started acting like love-sick teenagers? One, it would look good for you in court, and two, it might actually make her feel more inclined to choosing you. She's not seeing much worth sticking around for right now.

I am the one not seeing much worth sticking around for right now. I have not done this, and I am not the one txting OM all the time. Come on 1130 txts a month. I am not so sure that I want her to choose me. I am sticking to my course. I will not do any plan a or try and smother her with love and affection. It has all been done before.

I think you are correct in this course.

Thanks for the support, and at this point I believe I am also. I just can not believe that after all that was said and done last night that there are still message, emails, ily's. Has anyone ever seen anything like this before?