Can you get it online? Most cellphone detail can be seen online.

Mel

The alienation thing is tough!! Not because of evidence but because most lawyers don't want anything to do with it!!
I already have a good chunk down with my own attorney.
My W on the other hand had about $100 dollars left last time I looked.

I used to have online access...password has been changed.
I am gonna hit the post office today and see if I can have all our mail go to our ok box for a week or so.

You know what? You can go online and have them hold your mail for VACATION. Then you can go there and pick it up every time you are close by. That is a quick fix that won't require alot of footwork. You can go to www.usps.com and do that.

I forgot about the "mail hold" Mel!! I have a PO box....I did not want my kids to see legal papers coming to our house

For that matter, you can go to the Post Office and open a PO Box and turn in a change of address card, and everything will be rerouted to the PO box and she won't have access to your mail at all any more. That way, if she does any sneaky changes or sets up new accounts, you'll get that, too - at least til she catches on.

Cat

I have had a PO box for myself for about the last 3 months. I am gonna do the vacation hold thing. Her mail still goes to the house

I know, but this could be like a permanent thing. Like you could tell her you want to safeguard y'all's mail, so you set up a new PO Box for the household. One more step in making it hard for her to dissociate from you.

Would that even be worth it?? Just to piss her off! We do have 2 kids....she will never "get away from me".

Been thinking....
Work thing goes nowhere because W and OM use personal cellphones to text.
Can the company make them show these records??

If they can't.....then I might get an email that says.....thank you for slandering our employees.....see you in court!!!

Let's say I get this email this week. I won't yet have our cell records as proof....I need a reply to stall.

My W had made a copy of her cell records a couple weeks ago to show D12 how much texting she has been doing. Her entire bill was 71 pages long. Of course I only saw the pages with D12s texts (Ws were 3217). I know she printed all 71 pages at work because she had pages 1-3&67-71. She must have shredded the rest.
This 71 page bill is what I am waiting for.
I need something in "legaleeze" to respond to them (if they do respond) if they send me above mail.

Ideas??

Stay focused Carp.
You're running off on a tangent with that last post.
Companies do not sue husbands for slandering cheating wives.
They've got way better things to spend money on, especially in these times...

You've got enough to do without adding to your burden.
Go sell your car...

I don't think the compay could make them show them their personal cell records nor would ask. Stop worrying about getting sued for telling the truth. It can't be slander if the accusations are true and no company is going to take you to court over this. You don't need to stall. If you do happen to get a response before the phone bill arrives, you can still have a conversation with HR. Inhale!

Sell my car!!!! Which one!? LOL.

I am not worried as much as you guys think....just planning ahead.
How about if I get a response that simply says they don't find anything??

Here's the thing, Carp. Dont worry whether they find anything or not.

Exposing to her work wasnt to get her fired. It was to get the affair out in the open. To get everyone looking at the two of them and discussing the sordid life they are living. To get the boss to tell them to "cut it out." To make them have to take precautions at work...making the affair less fun.

So, even if they say they didnt find anything, it wont matter. The boss will probably tell them to knock it off. They wil lsay nothing is happening. And a few weeks later, with more proof, you send to the boss...and he realizes he has been lied to.

Dont worry about this. Just keep to your plan!

MortarMan

That's a fantastic answer!!
If they don't contact me....let it go?
If they do...we will go from there!

Exactly!

If a person gets caught doing something wrong there is a whole list of NEGATIVE emotions that they experience....they will feel: embarrassed, guilty, uneasy, paranoid, shame, whispered about, judged, etc. etc.

That is a LOT different than the emotions they had when everything was a SECRET. Then it was exciting, passionate, daring, flattering, etc.

See the difference?

She won't be able to recapture the good emotions from the affair now that it has been exposed. She will FIGHT you. She will blame you. She will defend the affair. All in an attempt to recapture those good emotions.

Exposure puts the affair on even ground with the marriage. Now she will have to make a decision on less emotional ground.

Beautiful stuff Lexxy!!

Makes me feel better just reading that!!

Exposure day+1

W and I have not exchanged any form of communication since last night when she handed me the phone to talk to enabling uncle.

I am gonna be on my way home....should be there in approx 2hrs. I am gonna order some carryout for everyone there(Ws friends are still there) shower, shave, dress sharp and look and smell good. When I see W I will say my standard "hey" as normal as I can. I would normally ask her how her day was...but I don't think I wanna go there. We will eat and then I am gonna grab me some clean laundry....plop down in the living room...fold some clothes and watch TV. This is not a new thing for me....my laundry skills have GREATLY improved in the last couple months!! I know what you ladies are thinkin . This would be about as close to normal a day as could be....pre E day. Ws cave is about 10 feet from the couch. If she asks me to go to my room and do this stuff..I will calmly say no. Anyone got a better idea?? Or am I thinkin to much?? Should I stay a little dark for the next couple days? I think me chatting with her friends/kids is gonna upset her....but I think that will be her problem!!

Good plan. And it is her problem. Enjoy.

That is not "thinking" that is mental masturbation. GOOD GRIEF. Give it a rest!