I guess I don't see any significant changes worth commenting about. She is still acting in basically the same way, and you are just trying to get through this until the D is filed. You are doing about all that you can reasonably be expected to do in this limbo.

Now I do see your WW picking up on your detachment and it has her rattled somewhat. Before, she was always in control of the situation, and she must feel that dynamic shifting ... that is why toxic BF was enlisted ... to try to shore up her "story", but you saw right through it. The "just friends" line has been overused to the point of now being almost comical ... I bet you even start chuckling to yourself when it is trotted out now.

I can only imagine how much this sucks for you at the moment ... your heart is probably tugging at you with any glimmer of anything positive ... but in your head, you have come to terms with the reality of what your WW really is and you have already started the process of detachment. These conflicting feelings have to keep your head swirling, but that will pass as soon as you can legally get her removed from the home.

All you can do is keep it up for another week or two.

Yeah I am struggling with all of it, and I kind of figured when her toxic friend called and wanted to talk to me about her sitch that something was up. Because she know I can not stand her, and the last time she called and I answered the phone she just hung up. As far as the "friends" thing I do get a real laugh out of it. I was surprised that my ww told me that I had ignored her during the party. I told her that I really did not want to be there so I was just letting her do her thing. She wanted to dance with me at midnight. I did for a minute and then looked at her and told her that I was not going to dance with her like OM did/does. She just got mad and walked away. My lawyer has called me and wants me to come into his office on Monday. My ww jsut sent me an email and yes the usual. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you with an I love you attachment. I kind of find that ammusing now. Because in my mind she is probably doing that out of guilt from just tstng OM. Yesterday I did ignore her. I stayed in teh room watching football until I went and got the groceries. I then cooked some steaks for supper. Everytime I would come through the living room she would ask me what I was doing. I would just say watching the game and go on about my business. One time I cam through she was setting in the reclyner and grabbed my arm and pulled me over to her and held me and gave me a kiss. everytime she does somethng like that even in the bed this morning I just wonder why? One thing that I did say to her during our bad conversation on the way home is apparently she needed a reality check seeing as how the dwi did not do it. I keep thinking back to when she was txtng my pi and did not even know who she was talking to. that proves to me that she is on the prowl and chashing OM. so I can only imagine what is going on with her and John (OM2). She has even said that she is not chasing him.

Good news about your attorney. Hopefully he has everything ready and just needs you to review it for accuracy and sign the complaint.

I also know you need a release valve ... so just continue coming here to vent about her craziness, all while remaining "James Bond Cool" on the homefront. Your day of escape from this he11 is near!!!

Yeah I know. If she is picking up on my distance that is good for me. After the call from my attorney about meeting on Monday if she ahs not seen distant and dark yet she will see it over this weekend. thank goodness I am going to get the little ones from mil tonight. I will at least have them at home to keep me distracted for ww. You know I was thinking about what she did a couple of Friday's ago with diregarding the entire family to drive home after drinking on a suspended liscense. If there would have been an accident I would have been sued for everything I have. I know you can not live on what if's and she even said that nothing happened. That is not the point. It is the fact that she would make a choice like that. Just another reason to do what I did. And still with all of the distance the ily's and messages keep coming. I wonder how bad that will get when papers land on her desk at work, or maybe she will just turn a cart wheel because I will not be around to stay in her and OM business.

My guess is that she's been lying to everyone (including herself) for so long that she will CRASH very hard once the cold hard REALITY of the consequences of her actions come raining down on her.

Just a suggestion, but if you can find out what day she will be served, you may want to have your parents available to take the kids away for a day or two. Even though she brought all of this on herself, her children probably don't need to witness and have memories of their mother's meltdown.

I thougth about that. But the kids will be in school. I don't know if I can take them out of school for a few days. Maybe I can make sure that she is not served until late on a friday afternoon, then that will give me time to get them out for a couple of days along with myself. I am not so sure she will have a melt down like I said she may be looking forward to it. If I do it on a Friday she may even go out driving around drinking. Real smart huh?

Myrev - There is so much going on with my sitch. It is very hard at times to keep my mouth shut and stay cool. But after my contact with attorney today this weekend will be cold and dark from me. If she thougth I was ignoring her at the little party, she has not seen anything yet. I just wish she would quit with all of the what are you doing, ily's, i'm thinking about you. We all know that the only thing she is thinking about is herself. She proved that a couple of weeks ago.

She just wants to be able to have her cake and eat it too. She gets you stable hubby to pay the bills, keep the house, and watch the kids- and OM for excitement and fun. It's nothing new and unusual- many waywards do it.

I know that is what she is doing. I have even told her in recent conversations that she is a cake eater. She just says no I am not to everything that I say about this sitch. So I went distant and do not say much to her about anything anymore. If I am going to be alone I might as well get used to it and that is what I have been trying to do. Oh! They are just friends. I know what the ily's and all of that are about now. To keep me strung along and to leave her alone about her A. Just plain sick to me.

Headed to the house for the weekend. Will be back Monday to keep everyone posted. Can not wait til I speak with the attorney on monday.

The next time she says 'no I am not,' reply with "Prove it. IF John is just a friend and you DO love me, you will choose your family over your friend and never contact him again. Cancel your cell phone and email addresses and all website sites. Give me all your passwords. Write a NC letter that I will approve and send to John. Until you do every one of these things, if you are not willing to never see John again, you are not the wife I want and my children need."

Have you asked her how she can say they are just friends when she won't let you read the texts between them?

I would suggest to not try to reason with a WW. It's a bit like trying to teach a pig Swahili. The pig won't understand and you will just end up getting yourself even more frustrated.

True, but the more he makes it unpleasant to pretend things are ok, the more likely the affair is to end. Saying NOTHING does NOTHING.

She IS conflicted AND she has female instincts - she senses she is not in control of YOUR emotional well being & she is trying to keep you emotionally connected at her whim.

Keep it up. STAY FROSTY

I have said and done all of that and all i get is we are just friends. She will not go NC with John. She has told me that she would take his name and number out of her phone, but she would not quit talking to him.

I have aksed her all of that and all she says is that is her phone and her privacy.

After basically ignoring her all weekend, and not saying much. again this morning there was a note in my lunch box and a message on mh phone. What?

If you do it again, and she says just friends again, then tell her you want to see her texts and emails. If he is just a friend, there will be nothing to them, and you will drop it all.

To late for all of that. She will not let me see texts. She claims that is her privacy and I am invading it.

She will not take you seriously until she is on the verge of divorce...if not afterward. Just had back the notes to her each day...with a note written on it of your own..."Return to Sender".