I'm married to the most wonderful man alive and he's done everything in his power to try to make me happy but for our 4 years of dating before getting married I was always angry. I started going to counseling and found out that some childhood problems are the reason for my anger and that I never got the love I needed as a child.

I told my husband that we should have never gotten married, that we should get a divorce; I've tried kicking him out after arguments and he's begged to stay. And now that I realize what I've done, he's not happy because I've pushed him so far away.

I've done a complete 180 and become the person I always wanted to be but didn't know how to be: I'm more loving and caring, I think before I speak, I'm more considerate. Things have become so strained that I can't even function because the thought of losing him is making me die inside.

He's completely withdrawn from me, and understandably so. I'm trying to give him his space to think but at the same time I'm trying to be that loving and caring wife he always wanted.

We fell in love at one point...and I still love him to death and he says he loves me but I hurt him so much that I don't know if this relationship is salvageable. I regret everything I've said to him about getting a divorce and kicking him out...I wish I could take it all back.

We're seeing a counselor this weekend, but he's not too keen on the idea because he doesn't like counselors after a bad experience as a teenager.

Any advice would be great. I feel so hopeless and hurt so much. He did leave to go for a drive the other day and texted me from his parents house. I called and asked him if he was coming home and he said he didn't know...but I asked him to come home and he agreed. So he must still love me, right? There must be something in him that wants to continue?? I never meant anything I said about getting a divorce or kicking him out. It was all in anger and now that I know how to accept love (too late it seems) I can't seem to get any.

Update Jan 6/08

I bought him flowers and a card yesterday telling him how i felt...he seems to be sort of coming around. Today he left for school and just said "see ya" and when I got up to give him a kiss, he gave me his cheek! I asked why I couldn't kiss him on the lips and he said he didn't feel like it.

What do i do?????

Read here about Love Busters (LBs) and Emotional Needs (ENs). There is a tried and true method (I'm evidence of it) here to follow. First, you find out what you are doing to LB him (what upsets him); there's a questionnaire he can fill out so you will know what NOT to do (won't upset him any more). Work on that for a couple months, to get the habit down.

Then, find out what his ENs are, and make sure YOU are the one person meeting all his ENs. There's a questionnaire for that, too. But you have to stop the LBs before you start meeting ENs, or it's like filling a leaking bucket - no matter how much you fill (meet ENs), the bucket keeps draining from the LBing you are doing.

Make sense? Basically, you need to make him excited to come home to you. It's almost impossible for him not to come around and start reciprocating.