I don't mind it really, I was just thinking that if H ever found it and the whole ED issue that happened during PA might crush him as man, ya know what I mean. But I am not totally opposed to it. I didn't even hear the text love, guess I was snoring away, and that's a good thing for me. But I did get it after I woke up this morn'

JMHO and it aint worth a whole lot.. this is true but if you recover he will have to accept it. I mean hasnt read alot my my threads but he knows there a fairly large bit about woods....

And if you don't recover, will you really care what he thinks???

How would this help? Would he recognize your current screen name?

If that's the case, I'd be happy to start a thread for you. I'll call it "The Side Effects of Ramen Noodle", LOL, just kidding. I'll name it whatever you want, but you'll have to ask the mods to move your whole thread to it... if they can...

Another idea is T2L could start a new thread, after all the name for this is SO NOT TRUE!!!

and this one will just fall down the board into obscurity until it is needed

That's true, but I wonder if she's also worried about him recognizing her user name.

Possible.

I was thinking that there wouldnt be manynew users first coming on here and knowing how to use the search function, or how to work out what posts have been created by a user A couple of dozen posts to a new thread will remove this thread from the first page list of "all posts made by..."

In fact I have given up on the search function myself and google stuff now.

So what should I do. I mean I don't know if he'd find this site or know about the book but you never know.

I don't know if he would guess my user name, but even if he did I'm not sure he would be savvy enough to find archived stuff. But I could start a new thread and let this one run off. Should I do that or leave it all here. I just would hate for him to be embarrassed or hurt but then I want to help anyone with PA or PB.

Hey PM I haven't read your entire thread, was your H a crazy angry fool with massive entitlement? Did he ever accuse you of controlling?

I need to read the rest of your. I'm at false recovery on SMB's and only got through some of yours. I think I need the link to yours.

Hi T2L, first has H used your computer and saw you up on this site? Would he be smart enough to use a keylogger type of equipment to see what you are doing on line? From hearing about him I would not give him that much credit. Deep breaths girl, deep deep breaths.
Going after work today to buy suggested vitamins for sleep cycle. I had circle under my eyes today, I start to count sheep and then they turn into plastic pinatas. whoa is me.

I would suggest; Yes you will always be our Father, but your absence and part time role prevents you from having the ability to be a Dad.


I know, I know, you can't tell them this directly, but you can direct them here to read what I said.



BTW, kids see through "Disney Land Dad's".


Please be careful T2L......the sucking sound you hear is you draining you own love bank. Don't rewrite your own history.

Would this work:

You change your username to something he wouldn't recognize. Maybe SleeplessInSeattle or SadYankeeWife or AbandonedInAustralia. This thread becomes the thread or SIS or SYW os AIA. You then create a new id (with the mods' permission... mods, would that be ok? Creating a new id not to deceive us here, but to preserve privacy issues that would bother a spouse?) and you start a new thread with your new id.

I wonder if your new id could even be the same as what you have now.


You don't know how many times I've been tempted to refer to this, and held back!

Going to direct kids to read the response. I know they see through DL Dad's. He did a lot of that through Christmas, giving the kids money etc. It does hurt as I am the one here 9 months later raising my kids alone. I just told DD17 to read it, she says she already tried that and he just says to her, well regardless of what you think I am still your father. So not sure it'll work.

Yes I seem to drain my own love bank LOL.

I was reading more of SMB's thread last night. I noticed it started in June and it looks like you were in Recovery by December. Is that right?

It will be 9 month's in 2 weeks since Dday. Time seems to drain my Love bank now. The longer this goes on the more I wonder if I could ever even forgive him and be able to do it. Saturday is 2 months in PB. In my eyes its not looking so great.

On the brighter side I think I have finished de-trashing and organizing every bit of the house including the garage. The only thing left is the swamp in the back yard LOL. Leaves have blown in the pool and its a bit mirky. Probably will do that this weekend. {{{{sigh}}} Onward.....

P.S. Thanks SMB for the songs. I listen to the over and over. Beauty for Pain is my fav so far.

You cannot reason with a wayward, and neither can the kids.

Nothing is going to "work", so let your kids know not to EXPECT what they say to GET THROUGH. Nonetheless, a little chisel at a time, may eventually break through.

tst tells me of things that broke through his fog at times...things I said, or the kids said, or someone else said. Things that from all outward appearances had no affect. He remembers me stopping him in the hallway, putting my hand on his face and asking him why he was doing this to us. He says THAT got through for a brief moment. All I remember of that was he was cold as ice.



No, that's not exactly the timeline.

End of Feb 07: OW (old H.S. GF) came to FWH's business and A started right away. I immediately sensed something not right.

April 27: D-day #1 Mustered the courage to ask. He stammered around and then started telling me he had an A 13 years ago lasting a month, then another 5 years ago lasting a month, then another 6 months ago lasting a week. It was all lies to cover the actual A (first and only one) he was currently in. I found MB the next day. PRAISE GOD!

2 weeks later: False recovery #1 when he finally said he wanted to work on our marriage, too.

End of April until June 15: FWH spewing and babbling, lying and cheating. I keep snooping because something still didn’t feel right (and because Mel said so)

June 15: D-day #2 I intercepted a text to tst from OW. I confronted her on the phone, then him in person, and it was horrible...never loved you, always been her, just hanging around til kids are grown. More lies about our entire life together.

July 8: False recovery #2 He returns home saying he wants to restore marriage and already wrote OW a long good-bye letter so no need for a NC letter :RollieEyes: I wanted my life back so badly, I didn't require anything but words. He continues daily contact with OW. I keep snooping…because Mel said so.

August 26 or there about: D-day #3 , he tells me no matter what he does, his heart is just not in this and that he has gotten a condo and is moving the following weekend.

Labor Day, 07: he moves out again

Sept. 14: I celebrate our baby's 7th birthday without FWH and lose all hope and begin to believe all the lies.

end of Sept.: I turn focus to getting ducks in a row for Plan B, and plan to file for D as soon as 3 month waiting period ends (waiting to establish residency in county where tst moved because it would be in my best interest to file in that county—legal strategy) I still had back and forth days, because I still could not believe this all had happened (still can't) I was OVERDUE for Plan B.

October 07: I have A

Last week of Oct, tst begins communicating with great remorse and we meet on Oct 30. His transformation was undeniable.

1st week of Nov. 07: We are on a business trip together writing NC letters. tst comes to MB, and it takes less than a day for even the toughest of vets to see he is the real deal.

So, affair started end of Feb. 07, D-day #1 was April 26, reconciliation was Oct. 30. It was 8 months of total insanity. Really, 8 months of evil is more like it.

That's probably more info that you were asking, but I can ramble when I go back there.



I felt that way, too.

But what if, you saw YOUR HUSBAND?

What if HE came back?

What if SOMEONE BETTER came home?

These are the same questions Ace and MicheleG asked me on my thread in Sept/Oct, right before a better man returned home.

It IS possible, T@L.

I don’t know what God has planned for your life, but I know that all things ARE possible through Christ. He DOES move mountains. HIS voice does make the demons tremble.

Hi T2L,

Just wanted to say Hi, before I go.

Flicks A was alot shorter than many but I had given up. I was 3 hours away from telling him to shove it when he text me, it was that close. Often it seems that the old saying "Its darkest before the dawn" is very very true. Hold on there sweetie, you can do it. You have strength, courage and God on your side.

If you don't, expect me to give you a whoppping when I come see ya.

T2L, stop at my sitch if you get a chance. I value your opinion on this one.

I was the evial biatch whom he'd NEVER loved EVER and I was a CONTROL FREAK.



My story link is in my signature line.

PM,
Well that's good to know, apparently then I must be your sister, the OTHER evial biatch control freak. Accept I need to "change" on top of all that. LOL

Updates, dark PB day. No contact from H to the kids since Sunday. Kids actually are fine, at least for what it is. Yup, wrote it in my journal too.


I think its stress for them to have to go out to places to visit there father. It seems harder for them to visit instead of the way it used to be and having access to him whenever he is home. DD17 says its dumb I have to visit my own dad who should live here. Since he lives an hour away with the Sea Hag, and he can't come here, they have to figure out what to do for the visit and when they are bored then the visit is up.

Today DD17 did say wow, my dad hasn't talked to me in 3 days. I asked them today if they are okay and they said yes. I could never go 3 days with out hearing my children's voices. How he does it I don't know. Found a new therapist for DS10. We have orientation on Monday.

I still say prayers for H, although my Pastor had said to me the last we spoke to not concentrate on Mr. T2L but concentrate on myself for now, but then I think if no one else is praying for him I may be the only one. The great thing about praying for someone is its hard to hate em while you do.

When i go to sleep at night I miss my H, at least for a brief moment, and then I remember that he doesn't exist anymore. Its hard. I know I am supposed to be thinking on me, but when your head hits the pillow and all is quiet you can't help but remember. Miss his stupid jokes and humor that him and i had. Miss how he came home and bear hugged me and lifted me off the floor and said hey little lady or how he would call and say hey little lady. Don't miss the occasional anger or moodiness tho. Don't miss trying so hard, so very hard, to be perfect and make him happy.

Hate adultery. It ruins families and even ruins WS's. If only they could see.

G'night y'all.............

Sexymamabear, Did tst know about your A before he began communicating with great remorse?

Sorry to thread jack.

No! I had no clue.

She only laid it all on the table after she knew I was truly remorseful.

If you read our threads after Oct 25th, you will see how it all unfolded.

I am still reading your thread and got to this part. I am obviously in tears over TST's response. Could you ever see him saying this to you in the past? Did he ever examine him self or even express himself this way previously?

Though, It should give me hope, I cannot see Mr. T2L saying this to me. My H took us to church and on vacations and provided for us but i think he checked out emotionally many times as well, but I worked overtime to try and keep connected. He was there and did those things but yet he was not there if that makes sense. H has a hard time expressing him self, LOL guess that's apparent huh?

Almost done with your thread then on to PM's, my evial controlling biatch sister.

TST, Thanks for the response.