Not a bad idea.....

And good for those of us who are also just beginning to step out. The sharing is appreciated.

I have to agree that the stuff with V is a good experience for you.

I have to admit to being worried about you -- because he was moving so fast, and working so hard to "lock you up." KWIM?

You got a good head on your shoulders, I shoulda known you'd handle it right!

Bugsy:

I hope that it doesn't come down to filing Harrassment charges against "V".

Hope your next date goes well with R.

And this:

LG WINS!! Turns out the gift 'could' really have been for me!

Shucks....

LG

This is also a classic sign. A person who wants to more to fast into a relationship. Red Flag all the way!

I actually had that one guy who was not respecting my boundaries, who was pushing for a relationship...I think that the best thing you can do is pay attention to your instincts, just as Bugsy and I did...

One thing that I remember him saying was something like: "Well, I tried being the nice guy, the religious guy, the [censored], and none of that worked!" When he said that I thought, why don't you try being yourself...

I don't think that one can be too cautious when protection self...becasue if we protect self then in essence we are protecting our children too!

Verbal abuse Charactertics

FYI for all ppl out in the dating world whether male or female!

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for the fun, for the concern, and for the Support!!

I just have a few minutes but HAVE to post about 2 calls from Drac today.

First was this morning. The purpose of the call was to ask me if I knew anything about upcoming changes at our work. Seems there is some re-organization coming down,,,,some of which he knew about, some he didn't. He did ask if I knew anything, and "does it effect you?"

So, we had some general business discussion about the known & unknown factors. I was glad that I was able to make it just like a conversation with any other casual 'work acquaintance'. I did make it clear that nothing that happens locally will effect me in any way.

So, in the course of the conversation, the subject comes up about re-location. It is not unusual in our industry or our company. He says, "I have thought about what it would be like to pull up roots and just move." I did not comment either way.

THEN

He later says, "I've often wondered if it wouldn't have been better to not go over to "x" company and 'we' had all packed up together and gone somewhere new".

WTF??

My only reply was, "well that's not something I'd ever thought about." and I changed the subject. The conversation ended with him telling me he'd call me after a meeting this afternoon and let me know what he'd found out.

So,,,,,he did finally call. There is some MAJOR re-org happening, including his current boss moving to Vermont. So, I asked him if he was 'house shopping in Vermont'. He said no.

Then, he filled me in on some stuff,,,,and later says something about how he's heard that Vermont is very nice. I concurred. His next comment is, "well, you can do your job from anywhere,,,right? How about Vermont?" a BIG PAUSE "we would find houses down the street?"

I laughed. I said, I'd do a lot of things for my girl, but moving to Vermont for HIS job wasn't one of them.

As the 'work' conversation is winding down, he starts telling me how he can't move because his MOM wants to move in with him. So, a longer conversation ensues about his mom's family issues.

OMG!! Like I care? Only in that it effects my daughter.

He talked about how incredible Ladybug is,,,what a great kid,,,how she's done really well under the 'difficult circumstances'. He said he can't go more than a few days without her with the way it is now,,,,,,,and even that is very, very hard. I said, "yes, I completely understand,,,,there isn't anyone in the world who could understand more." I think for the FIRST time, he got the point!

He finally wrapped it up,,,,,by asking me to let him know about the work changes if I hear anything and saying he'd do the same, and "talk to you soon".

All I can say is it is pretty obvious to me that Mr. Drac doesn't have any current Ho or he wouldn't be talking to me!!

Just had to get this all off my chest and down on paper!

I gotta run for now but will be back later to catch up with everyone!!

Hi Bugs,

...totally agree with Queenie....


...with respect to everything you are handling....

Thanks Bugs.

Oh yeah Bugs, it is painfully obvious that he is now without HO.
Once he finds HO3 (or is it HO4 now?) you won't hear from him again until that bites the dust. Dark is better I would say.

I agree with Chai..dark IS better!


Therefore, I hope that you will not be sharing your info with him UNLESS it causes YOU to have to move, which it doesn't appear that is going to happen...

YEP, would have to say that he's looking for his needs to be met and I'm waiting on the Poor ME to come along too...he's already setting the tone for that one with the mom thing...

Next, it will be poor me about his job and then in his eyes everything will go to crap, that's when HO3 or 4 will come into play, becasue BUGS will not play ball anymore...

That's right Rin,,,,,Bugs does NOT play any more. At least not if Drac is in the game!

Funny how we can suddenly tell when we've taken that next step to emotional freedom from the Ex. In the past, when Drac has reached out like this, I felt COMPELLED to continue to reach back out to him. I'd look for any excuse (or I'd just make one up) to continue the contact.

Not today. No desire to do it.

Yes, it crossed my mind, but only in regards to recognizing the fact that I don't feel that need this time around.

Oh, and there is no way he could possibly FORCE me to move. I did let him know that should he ever choose to want to move himself for whatever reason, that I'd "work with him to continue to see Ladybugs as much as possible".

He doesn't know that I didn't say that for HIS benefit. I said it for Ladybugs and MY benefit. Of course it is important that she continue contact with him no matter what,,,no matter where. I will always support HER in that. I also said it, because who knows? Maybe *I* will be the one to want to re-locate someday. By saying this, I put it on the record that *I'd* be willing to work with him if the positions were reversed. Just a little hedge against future possibilities.

I have a busy, busy day today and am headed to a 1/2 way point tomorrow to meet R for Sat. night dinner date, so I'd better hit the work.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thanks for the kuddos!!! As I don't always feel like I am in a position to give 'advice' to many folks, I'm happy to be of service by just sharing my stuff,,,,,,

OWWWWW, EXCITING!!!!!

Looking forward to hearing about the Classy, Sophicated BUGSY and her FABULOUS TIME WITH R...

WHOHOOOOOO!!!

Yeah Buddy!!! What Rin said!!

Don't do anything that we wouldn't do Bugs....

I agree!!!!



That sure doesn't limit you much, does it?

Morning, all!

Well, the weekend was wonderful. Met R Saturday afternoon. Sat and talked for a few hours, then to dinner.

He took me to a 'very' nice steak restaurant for dinner (for my birthday early). It was sooo good. He even remembered what wine I had mentioned as my favorite & ordered it as a surprise. It was the kind of dinner that takes 3 hours! My favorite!!

In short, the dinner was fantastic, and the company was even better.

I get to see him again when I am in his town this week for business. (convenient, isn't it?)

Suffice it to say that we are both very much enjoying one another's company and learning more about each other. I know that we both have had the thought of'what if' this gets more serious. It won't be easy. We each have significant ties to our current towns,,,,,,,,,,,,but we'll cross that bridge if/when we really get to it.

I gotta get Ladybugs to school.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Bugsy:

Great news!

Distance is a factor in a relationship. And Dr. H recommends that married folks DO NOT spend nights away from each other.

But that is putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

Just enjoy to ride for now. The other stuff will work out.

Can't wait to hear the "Drac" howl if he finds out...


LG

Good for you, Bugsy. Here's hoping for the best for you.

It's hard to see at the beginning, but the waywards really are the losers in the end.

Fox

Fox, I completely agree with this statement...the more Plan B I do the more I see that POWS is floundering in a world of troubles, as is the case with most waywards...

it's proved to me over and over again that the grass is not always greener on the other side for them...in most case for the Betrayed, it is!

Wayward spouses trade down. Betrayed spouses get new opportunities.

Right on, sdguy.



Fox