I sent both daughters teachers emails.

They said our family is going thru a seperation/divorce and I am doing my best to keep home life normal in regards to school, homework, daily schedule etc. Please let me know if my daughters schoolwork/behavior is suffering. I also told them that if they did not want me to share this info with my kids I would not. I said that I ask my kids everyday how school was and they normally tell me.

Not these exact words....you guys get the drift!!

My youngest daughters teacher already responsed!! Thanking me for the info and letting me know how she was today in regards to her work/behavior.

1 step closer to "superparent" for me.....1 step farther away for WW!!

I have a completely seperate email account (not linked to my iPhone in any way) that I send every email from WW, every journal entry, every doctors appt etc too.
I think this is important to anyone who is using electronic means to document stuff. If I thru my phone off a bridge.....I wouldn't loose a thing!!!

I left the red part out if there. I have to act like "super parent" in the eyes of the judge!! My kids are #1 priority! When/if this makes it to court....and I produce my mountains of paperwork....I don't want to look vindictive to WW but positive for my kids/custody. If the teacher asks...I will not hide it...but I don't want to throw it out there.

Sent an email to my daughters counseler in regards to some of the things W has been saying to them.

The "I can do what I want I am only married to your dad on paper" comment

The "secrets from dad" stuff

I also forwarded her my emails with my daughters teachers

The girls see her Saturday at 11am. I asked her to touch on these issues with the girls and let me know she got my mail.

Listening to your WW talk to OM....barf

They talked about todays crappy weather

Me mentioning to WW that the weather would be bad and how she only has 3 miles to drive.

She gave exposure letters to her lawyer....he laughed and said I was crazy. Her lawyer is gonna tell the judge I sent the letters to OMs family and WWs family and he is gonna subpeona the 1 from her work.

WWs lawyer was the last person in Illinois to try an "Alienation of affection" case.
Her Lawyer said it's a total waste of time...and good luck finding a lawyer to take the case. She talked about a lawyer I had mentioned once.
WW was gonna try to contact my daughters counseler to write a letter saying it is in the kids best interest to be with my W. She had made a comment about how she had just started to write things down. A comment about which judge we have and the fact that the judge will talk to the girls himself. The judge will ask my kids if I am acting like a nut job.
She was taking about how my oldest daughter is kinda mad about making me mad and our youngest will just go with W.

She was talking about the kids going with her or me and it was making the girls upset.

W just can't live here anymore.
She told my kids about the exposure letters and all the bad things they said about WW and OM and how I tried to get WW fired.

D12 asked WW if she loved this person....WE said she is not looking to marry anybody and is not "trading your dad in for somebody else"

My kids are apparently ok with my wife having a boyfriend

My wife never calls OM her boyfriend to the kids.

Gonna try to go to bed now...

I was chatting with my mom this morning. She is very supportive of what I am trying to do.
She wanted me to pose this question to you guys....

How do I relay the terrible info I have on my dvr to the kids counseler without looking like some lunatic recording my own family?

carp, is there a reason the recording needs to be given to the kids counselor?

Have you spoken to the kids about your wife's adultery and given them MORAL GUIDANCE? Or is your wife being free reign to teach them that wrong is right? It sounds very much like the latter to me. I will tell you from personal experience that this will mess them up for years to come being exposed to her immorality. They instictively understand that her adultery is wrong, but if no one VALIDATES that instinct and they only hear your wife's RATIONALIZATIONS, they will learn to IGNORE their instincts about right and wrong. They will learn they are STUPID girls.

It sounds to me like your wife is very successfully framing the argument with you being the nut for protecting your family instead of HER being the sl*t for destroying your family.

What is your plan on the legal front to get a separation going? I think her living there and openly flaunting her adultery has been devastating to your marriage and to your children's psyche.

She is like the loony wayward who moves into the guest room and proclaims "we are separated" and commences to live the single life. I know that sounds insane [because obviously that is not "separated] but I sense your wife may have pulled this stunt.

Never mind, I just caught this. Have you spoken to their counselor and told her all about your wifes affair?

And nothing you have done here is crazy. You did exactly what was prescribed by clinical psychologist, author, and founder of MARRIAGE BUILDERS, Dr. Willard Harley, by exposing your wife's adulterous affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy and you are trying to save your marriage.

Mel

I don't want to give her the recordings....just trying to find a way to get the info to her.
I have been trying to teach my kids right from wrong....and trying to teach them that "morality" is important....WW takes my 1 step forward 2 steps back. I am hoping the counseler will be 1 more person to back me up!! It seems no one else is.

Getting her out....legally rite now....I can't do squat!!! She has been told to stay....and that's what she is doing.

I have let the counselers....mine and the kids...know the truth.

I don't understand. So you are stuck together FOR LIFE??

Not for life....just during legal proceedings. She will not leave without the girls!!

Even though if things were fixed.......I would be ok with life

Found my Ws "journal" that she started the other day....it has about 9 entries!!

Ex. June 12....confrontation
June 13th.....was drinking and acting crazy threw a glass at me
July 4th....was at a party at a friends house....called me a loser....said it sucked to be alone for holiday.
There is actually an entry from July where it says I lit candles in the bathroom and made her a CD! Which I did.

One entry says I took a door off the hinges. LOL.

Not one positive entry for herself.

Mine is full of both positive and negative entrys.

WW is on her way to OMs house. I really don't care anymore...yeah it hurts...she doesn't even care. I will spend the evening with the girls, make them dinner, take down the Xmas tree, finish D9s school project. WW said she would be home between 9:30 and 10....whatever.

What exactly do you think your wife can do to you if you tell her that if she goes to OM's you will put her stuff outside and change the locks? Honestly, what exactly are you expecting? A lawsuit? Calling the police? What? Explain, because I don't understand what you are so afraid of.

I am not afraid.....I just don't see any reason....she just doesn't care so it will just cause problems for me.

Last night was ok for me and the kids mostly. D9 and I finished her science fair project. D12 was at her friends down the street working on hers.
D12 called me to come meet her at her friends to walk her home. We walk home chatting and goofing. When we get home D9 and we finish her project. D12 is upstairs in her room and I can hear her talking to someone on the phone....she was crying and angry. I go upstairs to see what's up and she asks me to leave the room. I listen for a bit and she is talking to her mom. Very emotional...why does mom hate her, me, her sister, etc. WW calls me and tells me to go talk to her....tell her whatever you want...she was crying and very upset. I was very calm....I told her I knew where she was...I asked her to come home to her family so we could all talk. She told me she would be home by 10..I just said ok.

I went inside to talk to D12....very upset...she doesn't trust me, her mom, she wants a different family, etc. She wants to know why I don't just let mom go and get a girlfriend...I tell her that is not the right way to do things and that mom and I are still married. She was very upset by this. She told me she knows about the letters to OMs family...she said some things that were not true...I told her the truth..no details. She just wants all this to end...very upset still. She asks me to let mom go...I told her a have but that I still love her mom. I recount the story of my parents divorce and how the same thing happened to my parents so I understand how she feels. She asked me to leave her room....I told her I would and offered to bring her some water in abit. I check on D9...grab a smoke outside to collect myself and go back inside with her water. She is very worried about hurting my feelings...I tell her I am her dad and that I am strong enough to listen to her concerns....that's what a strong dad/husband does. She is worried that mom is gonna die from her cancer!! I tell her it is not that kind of cancer and mom will be fine.

There was some more stuff but I told the truth...I even told my kids the truth hurts but we get over it and grow stronger from it.

I chatted with WW this morning a bit...I will put up conversation later.

Do you tell your girls where she is going when she leaves for her adulterous trysts? I am not getting here that the girls really understand the truth. Have they been taught that adultery is an acceptable alternative?

Carp, how far away from separation are you? I am horrified that your DD's are subjected to this freak show and are being taught that wrong is right. There seems to be no one in charge here and you are just going along with this horror show.

It is RARE to see such a brazen, in your face, adulterer that is so free to harm her kids. As their father, it is up to you to protect them but I see nothing happening on that front.

carp, have you read anything on these boards? Do you understand what consequences and boundaries are? Do you understand the concept here about stopping the affair? By sending out exposure letters but still letting her live with you and carry on her affair under your nose (and your kids'), you look like an idiot. If you're not willing to stand up to her about the affair, you might as well never have sent any letters!

No reason?! SHE WILL CARE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT HER AFFAIR CAUSED HER TO LOSE HER FAMILY AND HOME!

Why should she stop? You are letting her scr&w any guy she wants while you sit back and pay her way! Why should she stop? Grow up!

The only explanation I can fathom is that she was permitted to move into the spare bedroom and pretend she is "separated." Some people believe if they are "separated" they are entitled to adultery. Of course, the problem with this is that LIVING TOGETHER is not "separated" and being "separated" does not entitle one to commit adultery. Married is married!

Is this how your wife has justified this freak show? Is this why you are so willing to go along with this?

Mel

I made it clear to my daughters last night...again that what mom is doing is not correct. We are still married and that having a boyfriend/girlfriend while married is wrong and that I would not do it myself because even though things are tough me and their mom are still married. D12 was very upset by this. WW even told her about an EA that I had years ago. D12 asked me about it...I told her the truth. I told her how long it was and that I admitted it to their mom and that we worked thru it.