Yes I have taught the kids from that perspective but also with a Christian tie to it.

I have taught DD17 that dad had a bad childhood and that's part of what we are seeing now, but so did I, and that it does not excuse it. I have told her that I allowed God to heal and remove the things from my past in the emotional soul areas but that is because I allowed God in to my heart to deal with these things. I have explained to her that her dad has not even acknowledged that he has these issues.

But with DS10 I have said similar things to him. In fact, its kinda funny and cute, he says to me can I send dad another email asking him to go to therapy? I say well DS10 Idk I think your dad may feel that I have said this to you so it may not be a good idea and he smiles and says oh darn.

But yes I teach the kids the practical and biblical. They do also understand that this is absolutely a spiritual attack. I new in prayer about this 1 month before it happened. My H and I were associate Pastors being raised up to take over a church and H was in Bible school and was going to receive his BA in theology by December. I explain to my son where the bible says that the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy and that is what is happening. He then says well why hasn't God made daddy come home(this is all last night in fact) I say well God gives us all free will to do what we want, even to do bad things. I tell him God wouldn't be good if he forced us to do everything would he? He says no. But I do bring the practical into it as well and explain to him that dad needs to make good choices and that God is trying to turn him back to the family but that HE won't force him. Then he says can I have one more hug momma? He's such a sweetie, and a booger too!

But yes I have found explaining both the practical and spiritual works well with the kids. The have a fuller understanding.

OMG here is his response, I am shaking I want to barf and pass out. Need to finish reading it but am posting here.


I’m sorry are crying and I’m sorry that I yelled at your mom but I will not discuss my personal business with you. You are 10 years old and you should just love your dad as I love you just the way you are. Unlike everyone else around you, I will not pump you full of information you do not need to know about and that’s one of the reasons you are hurting so much. I want to see you a lot but cant because you are being protected from me. I never said your mom is trying to keep me from you but she making it harder because of what you know about me. I’m not a bad person just because I leave a nasty message ONE TIME. You know too much and that makes me very angry at a lot of people. I hate a lot of people right now but you don’t have to know who. Too many people know my personal business and that’s embarrassing to me and the whole family. Yes this is all bad but it did get a lot worse when it didn’t have to. Stop talking about it and just let me be your dad and stop mentioning her name!!! How do you know I’m with her? Just let it be and lets just enjoy what we have now ok! The more crap I hear and each message I get from people that have nothing to do with our business makes me more angry and bitter. Everyone just needs to shut up!!! And I’m not the only one in the family that agrees with that. Yes I’ve done some bad things and said some mean things but I DO NOT TALK TO THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT MY BUSINESS!!! Stop judging me and just let me be your dad. Don’t get caught up in all of the girly gossip. You want me to apologize to all of the family? NO!!! I don’t owe them nothing because I didn’t do anything to them! If you have a problem with grandma M , you need to deal with that yourself. I’m sick of everyone blaming me for their problems that THEY have with her. THEY need to tell her how THEY feel about her and stop telling me about it!!! THEY are all scared to tell her over the phone so THEY have to keep sending emails to her about crap that has nothing to do with me. She still loves all of you no matter how much you guys hate her. She refuses to respond to all of the negative crap that everyone sends her. She still even has Christmas presents for you.

I have always tried to be the best father to you and I’m still trying but anything I do and have ever done has been judged and measured. So no matter what I do, good or bad, is just not good enough to some people. You all falling into that category and I hope you will just forgive me and love me as I love you. I miss you guys and I still have many dreams about you. A lot of things need to change and its not all about me.



Dad

T2L--- DO NOT LET DS read that! WH wrote that KNOWING that you would read it, it was written for you. It's HOGWASH... and you know it.

This letter will hurt your son to his core, just as it has hurt you. There is nothing LOVING in it.

Please, please, do not believe the filth and lies spewing in that piece of trash.

He will be ASHAMED someday of what he's written.

So close to what my WxH said to DD15 when she wrote him a letter.

So very very wayward.

I feel for you all.

Gosh.

Emotional extortion much?

Emotional vampire much?



Geesh. Nice protection of your child there, daddy-o!

It was all a thinly veiled response to get to you, T2L. It had little to nothing to do with DS...but poor DS isn't gonna see it that way.

And excuse me, but is this sorry SOB telling your BOY - your CHILD to MAN UP? Is he?

A 10 yo? Are you kidding me????

Tell me your son hasn't seen this...

Tell me you are going to check with his therapist to see how to handle this...

T2L {{{{hugs to you}}}}}

I officially want to beat the cr@p out of him myself.
WTH kind of letter is that for a 10 year old.

why didn't he just write one page and put this on it....

me me me me me me me me me me me

Maybe I should resign from my duties...I'm madder'na wet cat and twice as mean right now.

The momma tiger in me has got 'er back up for ya.

Yer one smart hermana, Hope.

That's disgusting. Even my dad wasn't that cruel, and he was the most selfish man I ever met.

PLEASE don't let DS10 read that. It will kill him. Turn it right over to your lawyer. Today. Delete any copies of it, today.

I agree with CP - along with copies of what DS wrote to him.

This is unacceptable.

Has he always behaved like a 9 year old?

Heck...even my 9 year old doesn't act an iota as entitled and wa-wahhhhhh as Waynerd.

WOW -- that is a lot of garbage spewing.

Please just hand this over to that poor kids counselor -- and your attorney.


(((hugs T2L)))

That was directed at you -- not DS. He's madder than a wet cat at being exposed!

Is it a full moon for waywards today???

Oh that's right-- everyday is a full moon for them.

Okay I'll try to answer them all.

-yes now that i look back he has always acted like a 9 year old. example fits of angry outburst. That is childish

-I have no attorney as he has continued to provide for us.

-probably wonder why i haven't file. Here's why. California has nothing to protect my son from paramour exposure. This hoor, who used to work at H's place of employment saw me and the children on occasion in that office and she knew of us. I would rather die than expose my son to them. I will stay like this until he is 13 unless he stops providing for us. California believes 50/50 custody is in the best interest of the child and I do not. I do not want to deny him visit's but spending the weekend is a whole other.

-Will copy the emails to and from and put in my file. I have all correspondence to and from the IM's and a journal that I have started from the get go.

-I have found a therapist for DS10 and we will be going for assessment after the 22nd and I will bring the emails with me.

-yes i know that email was meant for me

-Neak is going to read it and break it down paragraph at a time and help me decide what can be told to DS10 as he keeps asking if his dad responded. I have told him that his dad responded today and that its not very good and that I will go over it to protect him and only let him see what is necessary.


Now you can all see why I was freaking out last night. Told ya it was gonna be a bunch of crap. Was really hoping that it wasn't going to be that bad.

T2L, I am so sorry.

As everyone else has said, that letter was clearly written FOR YOU.

Please give it to DS's counselor and your attorney.

I HATE WAYWARDS I HATE WAYWARDS I HATE WAYWARDS I HATE WAYWARDS.

He is using your children at every opportunity he can to break your Plan B. Do you see how much he wants to get to you. He cannot stand that you are moving on and giving him what he wants--freedom to be a dumb@$$.

Sometimes I think the better the husband was BEFORE the affair, the WORSE a wayward he is.

I'll tell you the same thing some folks told me when I posted some of tst's wayward crap: He will be HORRIFIED one day at what he did!

And he will, T2L. I hope it's very, very soon. Or he will have destroyed every ounce of love you have tried so hard to protect. Nothing will do it quicker than hurting your babies!

On the bright side, it does show that he's not liking the exposure or the Plan B. He's clearly under tons of stress. He hates where he is and he's blaming everyone BUT himself.

It totally sucks that he attacked DS10 rather than comforting him. I think the idea of asking the therapist how to handle the message is a GREAT one. When is the appointment?

Wow, he's totally all about himself, isn't he?
This is the first time I've thought this about your sitch but I'm beginning to think... you can do better. He's an egocentric selfish spoiled narcissistic brat. But maybe that's just his waynerd side talking.

I do, too.

I still would like to beat the cr@p of out him.

Maybe I can gather all my italian friends...hhhmmmm

Don't tell your son, T2L...but my son punched VD in the stomach....

Thought that might make you grin a bit.

Hope, who needs Italians when you got kids that are Scotch/Irish and Mexican???

:twobyfour:

Yeah its like he is glory riding on the fact that he was a decent guys before and so it entitles him to be a complete jerk!

Do you see how i mentioned the fact that he says I need to change. He honestly believes that I need changing and he doesn't. IT is a complete blind spot to his own self. I don't even know if a PB can change that. A person can deceive themselves their whole lives. I was hoping that he would make it out of this. I was really hoping the man I thought was so strong could do this, but what if the enemy is himself.


Ok so many of you have been on here a while, so is he the worst you've seen or what. Lets be serious, does he seem hopeless?

Every time I see this word, I just crack up laughing. Can I borrow it from time to time?

Or we could think up some more...


wayturd
wayabsurd


I'll bet Neak can come up with a few, can't ya, Neak? Come on, play a bit.