We discussed this Mel

I filed oct 17th for custody and 50/50 assets

Stupid paperwork back and forth.

I know my W has $80 left on her retainer as of jan 10th! LOL

Anyway as of Dec 15th when I met with my lawyer last we discussed our final offer...paperwork costs $. Same as above...no CS from W...no non family overbite for either of us. She gave me some final financial paperwork to fill out...which I did and handed in. I told her on the 15th no more back and forth paperwork. I want to start courtroom part next. Now I have to wait for attorneys schedules etc.

Have you asked your wife to move out? Have you sat her down and told her how devastating this is on the kids and how morally confusing to see their mother brazenly carry on an affair from their home and ask her to think of the kids and MOVE OUT NOW?

That sometimes works.

Where you messed up was by COOPERATING with this fake "separation" deal where she moves into the guest room and then cats around like a single person. She has been led to believe she is entitled to commit open and flagrant adultery in front of her family and that is a HUGE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

Your cooperation has kept her in a fog which has been devastating to your kids. They are being taught that wrong is right.

Complete and total COOPERATION with her BRAZEN adultery. You are part of the problem, CARP.

And I see from your dialogue with your wife that your 9 year old has not even been told about the affair or WHO the OM is. What does she think is wrong in your marriage?

NICE! Her family is falling down around her and she has no idea WHY and noone is giving her moral guidance.

Mel

I have asked her/told her to leave numerous times....she will not go!!
Back in October she had money for an apartment....said her and the kids were moving out....I said you can...kids can't.

It boils down to this....she does not f¥&8ing care!!

I am gonna do what is rite for me/kids...she can friggin flounder around all she wants....she is burning her own bridge Mel....let her deal with it.

Her attorney tells her....if he confronts you or you feel threatened call the cops....how do I fight that??

Hi carp

I have been reading your sitch from the beginning and want to jump in here and ask you a question -

When your WW behaves this way do you feel threatened???

If I were you I would call the cops on her and have her removed from the property.

She is not behaving like an adult who has any self respect nor is she showing any value towards her home or children.

No longer enable her. Beat her to the punch call the cops first. Stop thinking about what you might lose, you have already lost her and unless you fight you wil never get her back. Even if you dont get her back (and given the way she is flaunting this in front of your kids you shouldnt want her back) at least you fought tooth and nail for what you believe in - Marriage, Family and Morality.

Dont take her idle threats. Counteract them what ever she says she will do, do it first.

Give her the phone if she threatens to call the cops. In fact dial the number and call them for her. Show her your not scared and you will NOT play her games. You have the upperhand here dont let her take that from you. When the cops arrive you stay calm and totally together the fog always undoes the wayward in one way or the other.

Get your attorney to file for custody NOW. Get your attorney to have her removed from the house NOW. If she cant be removed from the house get custody and you move out with the children.

The longer you let this continue the more it is going to damage your children Plan B is now the only option. She has to hit rock bottom before she realises what she has become. The conversations you are having with her are pointless - the day I stopped talking about the affair/issues in the marriage and handed him the letter outlining the financial mess he would be left in and that he would never see or hear from me again was the day he woke up. And that my friend was the day I stopped playing his BS game and I realise now part of it was he loved the game. He had me to support him financially/emotionally and her to play dirty sex games with.

MAKE IT STOP CARP - Only you have the power.

Littlepeanut

I have filed for custody, she doesn't want the house, she only wants the KIDS, and her $$.

Am I scared when she calls the cops? No! Last time they came I had my dvr in my pocket while talking with the cops...when they found this out they changed their tune. They didn't even want to listen.

Can I force her to leave..no

Like I said before I have asked/her told her and she won't...not without the kids.

I have been doing some planning/ thinking today and want some advise.
After talking with the counseler last night I have been trying to put together a letter to my Ws attorney thru my attorney. I want to spell out to the attorney how much pain this is putting our family thru....and ask him to ask her to leave our home because of the negative affects it it having on my kids/family life.

I have not been able to talk to my attorney yet about this...she is in court this week...but figured I would get it written up and then just email to her and she could check it and click send.

I already have a little drafted up (even using some of Mels words). I figured I would ask you guys for help also.

I even sent an email to the kids C asking if she could give me any advise or at least look it over or tell me what she thought.

I think you need a better lawyer.

Sorry Carp I agree with Cat.... YOU NEED A BETTER LAWYER.

If you have filed for custody where is this at?? Start pressing your attorney to get the job done dont take the stalling tactics from your attorney. If they continue to stall go somewhere else.

There is no way I would put up with this kind of service from someone I was paying good money to get a job done.

Where are things at?
Stuck in legal limbo rite now. I filed oct 17th. W had 30 days to reply. Mid December I get some MORE paperwork to fill out...stupid stuff. The day I got that paperwork I told my lawyer...NO more dumb back and forth paperwork I want to go to court. This week my lawyer is in court, last week my lawyer was in court.

How much more can I do?

Get a new lawyer.

One who wants to fight for your marriage and help you get your kids....... I work with lawyers all the time and when they are working on something which I am paying them for the job gets done whether they are in court or not.

That is what they have paralegals and assistants for to get the paperwork sorted.

I just dont think this lawyer is proactive enough. Tell them that. Tell them you need this sorted today or you are taking your business elsewhere. You have no obligation to them it is YOUR money you are spending.

Think of your children Carp. This is not about you, WW or your marriage this is about the way they see things.

Do you want your children to think it is ok to just treat people like crap and speak and act however you like whenever you like?? I can guarantee you that is the message they are getting from WW. The message they are getting from you is - Its ok to be trampled on as long as you love someone.

Either message is so detrimental to their futures.

What would you say to one of your girls if her husband or boyfriend was behaving like this??

Time to get a pitbull in your corner not a toy poodle. Do it for your kids, do it for their sanity, do it for their future.

Make WW realise what she has done by taking the one thing from her that still matters.

Mel, lilpeanut, catperson, and everyone else.......

I put on my big boy pants!!

I got ahold of my lawyer today. Asked her what the next step is. She told me she saw Ws lawyer today in the courthouse. Ws lawyer told my lawyer that W and her lawyer were thinking or talking about filing temp custody papers so W and the girls could leave the house!!! My lawyer said that because of the exposure letters W could not live peacefully at home!! I asked my lawyer....what do the letters have to do with my kids? She said not a thing. I asked what we were gonna do next....she said let's wait a week and see what happens. I then asked her ...why wait? I described Ws behavior over the last couple months...and how much she is not around and how much my kids know about the A. My lawyer was appalled!!
I also told her W has $89 left with her lawyer

So
She gave me some homework this weekend......get all my journal entries together since November noting Ws lack of responsible parenting....get them emailed to my lawyer....Monday WE file for temp custody!!

I of course forgot to ask....does this mean WE have to leave the house if granted custody???


On a personal note....my kids are gonna be crushed....anyone have any pointers for me?

I bet your kids will be RELIEVED to have their mother out of the house and not be a front row witness to her BRAZEN ADULTERY. MY GOD! Carp, I would call the attorney and tell her you want the wife out of the house and you want custody of the kids. And she needs to move her [censored] and MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

Your kids will be relieved to be out of the line of fire. I promise. More than anything, kids want peace and security.

I am so proud of you! And by all means, if you get the kids, you get the house!

Hey Carp, when you write it, I would stick with this theme:

Mrs Carp open and brazen pursuit of her adulterous affair with Scumbag Jones has caused Mr. Carp and his young daughters enormous emotional pain. Mrs Carp routinely speaks to her affair partner on the phone in front of her family and openly departs for her adulterous trysts leaving the family on most weekends. This is causing severe trauma and confusion with the Carp children, who are now seeing a counselor for their emotional problems.

Mrs Carp has discussed her adultery with our DD's and caused them moral confusion by validating her adultery.

We the ask the court to assing temporary custody of the children and possession of the family home, while removing Mrs Carp from the premises.

Easy Tex!!
My W even emails me her "weekend plans" from her work email.....my lawyer wants those also.

My Ws lawyer must be dumb.....talkin to mine about that kinda stuff!!

I also told my lawyer that I am NOT gonna do our taxes till apr 15th...no $$ for W!!

She did NOT want this stuff Mel.

huh? Can you speak in English?

She wants my journal entries since November. I am sure she will use the correct legaleeze when presenting it. I will forward your letter to her Mel.

Carp,

Your lawyer is a little to laid back.....you are going to need to stay on her like a fly on you know what. Make absolutely certain she files the petition for custody ON MONDAY. Do not let her put you off, keep on her!!!

BB