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Joined: Nov 2005
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Mel:
A couple of months ago, there was a thread about GROPING.
You didn't like it.
I noticed a thread the other day where you restated your dislike of it.
So, how did that conversation with Mr. ML go? How has the POJA on this issue worked for you?
LG
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I first reminded him that that I want to protect our marriage from lovebusters, which is our goal. So it was more a matter of being radically honest about a lovebuster than a POJA. He understands this concept from the MB weekend. He tells me when something bothers him so I can stop doing it and vice versa. I have banged in his head the notion that SACRIFICE IS BAD, SACRIFICE IS BAD. And I know he gets that.
So, I just told him the truth, that groping felt horrible and was making me cringe at his touch. It was so bad that I AVOIDED HIM. I felt stalked so whenever he did touch me in a good way, I associated those bad feelings.
At first he told me this was a GUY ENTITLEMENT :RollieEyes: but then he admitted that he didn't want me to avoid him. Which was happening!
He has stopped the groping - for the most part - and I do feel much closer to him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Mel:
Are we backsliding on this????
LG
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Joined: Dec 2006
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I asked her to bump her threads for someone.
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Jayne: Here is what Mel posted on that thread: Truth be told, I CRINGE when he walks by me. So, I was interested in what was really happening. LG
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Ok. I saw that too, I wasn't sure if that was why you were asking.
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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