So checking the DVR this morning while W is at work, bedroom one first.

19:00 (I'm at golf with Ds) Hear W talking to OM, having phone sex no less, wishing he was 'here' and 'on top of me like the other day'. She says 'ring me back I'm nearly out of credit'. That's funny, she has a contract phone??? She picks up and continues PS for another 15 mins.

I'm going to the gym now and my Love Bank is at ZERO. We will both be home about the same time. I really don't know how to handle this (again). I don't even want to talk to her and she leaves me a note saying 'she wants a cuddle' when she comes home after our D 'talk' last night.

Ok, since my last post on this thread, I've counselled with JH and started to re-try Plan A which has been v v difficult as the following will atest...

The usual stuff has been going on and about 3 weeks ago OM called W at home while I was at work. This is the first time I'd recorded it. W went on to say how much she'd enjoyed seeing him earlier that night and not to worry as her skirt 'was now in the wash'

A week later W went to a work meal and I went to a party at my gym. I was feeling 'Why not?'. We traded a few texts during the evening and I foolishly sent one that said me and a friend were 'coming home with lots of girls'! This was a wind-up and not true but after all the cr@p she has put me through, I needed to release some pressure and let her see how it feels. Total LB I know, but my Love Bank is seriously low.

I got home about 45 mins after W and went to open door. She had bolted it! I saw the bedroom light was on (kids were on a sleep over) and rang. The answerphone kicked in and I left a message saying that I knew she was still up and to come and unbolt the door. 10 mins nothing... I rang again and said if door was not opened I would catch a cab to either her dad's, or my BIL/SIL, which is where kids were staying. So off I went and caught a cab to BIL, he knows the sit and asked why I'd been locked out. I didn't know why?? Anyway, I left my phone on 'til 2am and nothing from W. I slept the night on my BIL's sofa in the same house my kids were staying at.

More to follow...

If I register under my real name, I don't know if there is a possibility of OM checking her account out and he will flip.

If you know when the OM is at work why not call there or go there? Do you know where OMGF works?

Just a couple of reminders about what your wife has done to you.

The 'washed skirt' was right around Christmas.

Time to send her packing.

Secure a father's rights attorney and dump her.

I looked at your other posts, to catch up on your sitch, but you have way too many threads going on. It's a lot easier for folks to help you if you stick to one thread.

Have you exposed to your WW's parents?
Have you exposed to OM's parents?
I see you're trying to expose to OM's girlfriend.

Have you done a stellar plan A? I don't think so, because you are making lots of LBs and not spending time with your W - she's going to one activity while you're going to the other.

I think you need Plan B but I don't think it will do much good as it's not following a stellar Plan A.

You need to get back to basics and work the plans, IMO.

To answer your question about Facebook, when you create an account you agree that you're using your real name. I don't know if they'd prosecute but I wouldn't risk it. When OM finds out what you've done adn that you used a fake name you can be sure he'll turn you in. WW might turn you in, who knows? Just not worth the risk.

The point of exposure is to blow the affair world to pieces.

Your life has been hell.

Make the affair hell.

Make the affair not worth the cost. That's what everything on the stick side of the Plan A equation is supposed to do. It raises the price of continuing the affair.

Mark

I agree with Psubiker. Create an account and use your real name (so that she doesn't view this as a hoax). I would also include a few details in that initial message. Or you can simply send a message without the friend request. Either way, you will need to include enough details to ensure that she knows that the info is real and not just some prank. By details, I mean your name, your WW's name, OM's name and whatever their connection is (work etc). So what if OM sees it.

One thing about Facebook is that when you send a message, it sends you an alert to your email. You can actually read the message in the email - so even if OM finds the Facebook message and deletes it, she might still see it on her regular email.

Quit being such a wuss. Drive over to their house, and if OM answers the door, ask to speak to his wife. If he refuses, come back the next day. And the next.

I only have one other thread? And this was a specific question

Seriously, how do you sit upright to type without a backbone.

I mean, you have been tolerating this for over a year and have done NOTHING to help yourself or improve your situation. You and a half dozen or so other BH's on the board right now are the poster children for DOORMATS.

Honest question ... is there ANYTHING that your WW could do to you that you simply wouldn't tolerate? Is there ANYTHING that you would stand up to defend?

Keep thinking Plan B. Have heard her telling her 'friends' she's made a decision, but won't tell them over the phone for fear of me recording convo. Also heard her say that OM is prepared to wait 'years' for her and she has also been told (by a psychic :crosseyedcrazy:) that OM 'will never cheat on her'. Thing is, she will believe this and will always be in the back of her mind.

Ok, will bear it in mind.

Keep thinking Plan B.

I feel my boundaries have been breached way too many times, she just seems to shrug it off each time. I know I'm the master of my own downfall.