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Decoy??? Man, woman, dog, diamonds???
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years D17, D30 alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08 Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also) H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08 Plan B 1/09 D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I like the decoy thing. I wouldn't actually date someone anyways. LOL I just thought, the thought or appearance of it would maybe rattle his cage.
I would feel bad actually dragging another person into this even if it was only for appearance. Even if I didn't like em, what if they started being attracted to me.
So attitude, huh. How the heck to would I do that with attitude? I mean I really do not see him or talk to him, just that 1 phone call where it seemed like he was getting close and then last week when I didn't notify DS10 his father is not allowed to hang out here.
Other than that I had not seen him or heard a peep from him and vise versa for 9 weeks. I don't really anticipate more of that. So how attitude my Lil Pepster??
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Y'all mean a woman dressed as a dude? Either that or the blow up kind, I'm sorry that's all I can think of now.... :MrEEk:
'sides that...I got nothin.
Me; W 46 Him; H 46
2 girls DD19 DD16 Dated/Married total 28 years. ..I am learning and working on myself.
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I mean, you could put an inflatable boyfriend in the passenger seat... as WH pulls up-- you drive off. You can "wave" his inflatable arm at him, even <squeek, squeek> ...I think your WH is so foggy, he won't notice a thing wrong!
Me; W 46 Him; H 46
2 girls DD19 DD16 Dated/Married total 28 years. ..I am learning and working on myself.
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That's something that would happen on a sitcom! And then, the "doll" would spring a leak and go flying out the window with the WH looking on! Maybe to what's-her-name, the clutzy one on Desperate Housewives?
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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So, I logged on and decided to read the newest page on T2L's thread. :MrEEk: Now I have been back and can see what lead to the posts I first saw...... :crosseyedcrazy: Your all nuts
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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That's something that would happen on a sitcom! And then, the "doll" would spring a leak and go flying out the window with the WH looking on! And her response to WH? What man? Flying out the window? You REALLY need to slow down on your partying.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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You guys are all funny as heck and I don't mean to be a wet blanket but T2L you *do* realize that playing games (like pretending to be dating or hiring the underwear model) is a very bad way to attract a spouse back in to the M, right?
'course, there's *nothing* that says a gal can't dream! Calvin underwear man, move over and make room for lil turtle!
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Wasnt there a BW that did this tho?
I seem to remember she was dropping the kids off at WH's and dressed like she was going out and had a suitcase/overnight bag in the car where he could see it.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Wasnt there a BW that did this tho?
I seem to remember she was dropping the kids off at WH's and dressed like she was going out and had a suitcase/overnight bag in the car where he could see it. Oh, sure, NO PROBLEM letting him see you have a life!! Let him wonder what he's missing out on. He can sit in the driveway eating turkey flavored Ramen and wonder what great fun adventure T2L is up to. His imagination will be lots more powerful than anything she could possibly really be doing.
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I mean, you could put an inflatable boyfriend in the passenger seat... as WH pulls up-- you drive off. You can "wave" his inflatable arm at him, even <squeek, squeek> ...I think your WH is so foggy, he won't notice a thing wrong! LMAO Okay only if he's a HOT Blow up guy!!!!!
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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You guys are all funny as heck and I don't mean to be a wet blanket but T2L you *do* realize that playing games (like pretending to be dating or hiring the underwear model) is a very bad way to attract a spouse back in to the M, right?
'course, there's *nothing* that says a gal can't dream! Calvin underwear man, move over and make room for lil turtle! Yes I realize that. It's a good point. I can only really see this ending in a stalemate. H knows that my personality is intensely loyal and he knows that I would basically wait almost forever. How do I get him to view me in another light? Its like he's riding the wave of T2L is so loyal....I hate it!
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Wasnt there a BW that did this tho?
I seem to remember she was dropping the kids off at WH's and dressed like she was going out and had a suitcase/overnight bag in the car where he could see it. OH really, tell me more and what happened....
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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It's been quite a while and I don't remember who it was but she'd do stuff like have two coffee cups sitting on the table instead of just one. Or he'd come to pick up the kids and she'd be dressed to the nines and as the kids went out the door so did she... to her car, and drove off, leaving him wondering where she was going. She never did anything to suggest she was in a relationship - that is, no dozen roses or anything like that. Just suggesting she was having a LIFE. Cruise brochure open and thumbed through, that kind of thing.
I'm trying to think how you could incorporate this into your Plan B. You're trying to stay super dark right now, so no "accidental" glimpses of you. He's not allowed in the house so it's not easy to leave stuff out.
Maybe when you know he's going to visit the kids you could say to the kids "I have been wanting to go to that comedy club for some time now; I think I'll call up a friend and go while you're with your Dad, so don't worry about me if I'm not back yet when you come home." Let the news filter back that way. You know he's going to ask the kids "How's your Mom?" Everything else will take care of itself. Nobody has to lie, nobody has to tell any stories. All that matters is that you are LIVING and he's not.
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Hey what about this, might not be a good idea but just a thought. He has a few items of mail that comes here to the house. I put it in an envelope and send it to him. Stuff like DD17 car payment. Could I write the return address in my maiden name and instead of my last name? Could that suggest some kind of living my life? OR would that suggest I want a divorce? What do y'all think?
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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I think it would suggest detachment
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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I think it would suggest detachment Geez..... Man this is harder than I thought. I mean Turtle is right I don't see the dude. The kids usually meet him away from the house since I got sick of him parking his car in my front yard while they ran of in DD17's car for the visit. Now they meet where ever they go. I just don't see him, which I guess is good. Its kinda hard to really look like your living a huge life. I've got 2 kids home full time with home school and finances are a bit of an issue for extra things so I cant really look like I'm doing a whole lot ya know.
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10 Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08 Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08 Plan B 11/15/08-currently 01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL 01/31/09 Planned brief contact 02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Its kinda hard to really look like your living a huge life. A-hem Is he due to see the kids around the 9th of march?
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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There was a BW who did this, and I think she posted on recovery. Maybe Pep will remember. Anyway, it was a wonderful story, and she was a good writer.
When hubby came to see the kids, she was all dressed up, and out the door she went. Actually, as I recall, she went to the library and read books, or WalMart for a coke.
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