Oh Lordy, I just read your sig line and you are 35!

I have one of those!



Get 'er done!

I am no accountant but I have always heard that filing jointly especially when kids are involved is always the best option for the most money returned. I would make sure the check is sent to your address and not somewhere else for her to cash.

Marriage advice....affair advice....now tax advice!!

Gotta love this place!!

I presume she can't claim mortgage interest etc....she doesn't make enough.

I claim and file married 4....I think she claims 1 or 0.

I honestly never thought filing seperately.....thanks guys!!

All mail addressed to me goes to my PO Box.

I am.

This happened to ME by my then STBEX WH! Had CPA advice on how this works after the fact.



Possibly less $'s for all, consequence for the choices SHE made and SHE knows it!

That's why she's bugging Carp for his W2!

For me the $ is just gravy.

For her it is all she has as far as extra.

Credit cards....none for her

Her $1000 to me per month

Her $500 van payment

Her $170ish cell bill

Her gas, other misc expenses.....she nets about $2700....not much left for her.

I feel good.....

Went to church today...I have been slacking in that area since mid December.

She is actually kind of polite today.....LOL
WW brought me a bowl of ice cream AND a cup of coffee for afternoon snack. Her reason for said acts of kindness....I do it for her.
I just started BBQing our Sunday feast.....WW wasn't helping at first.....now she is in the kitchen working away.

I smile alot....crack some jokes....talk about nothing....if she only knew why I am really smiling............


Edit.....I just popped back in the house....she even mashed the potatos!!!!

Wow! Not mashed potatoes!!

LOL

Good job, Carp!

Hey!! Usually they come from a box!! She actually wanted to know why I was making them blah blah blah....then she helps me! I was teasing her and told her to quit touchin my stuff!

Keep it this way Carp. Let the legal side take care of itself. At this point, you are just to Plan A and defend boundaries. Let your attorney do all of the nasty stuff.

It will begin to seep into her. She has no idea!! She will begin to be confused, as she thought you were Satan (lol). But who mashes potatos with Satan?

She wont understand how you can be so nice and be smiling when she is doing all of this crap. But, if she is smart, she will. She will come to the realization of what she is giving up.

You see, I saw two different outcomes by me doing this to my wife. If she chose to leave, after seeing me and seeing our life in the best possible light...then I knew that it would forever bug here and cause her pain. The "what-ifs." And if she was going to leave, I very much wanted that for her!!

But, if she woke up and began to see our life and went back for it, then she had the possiblity of being happy again. That I hoped for also.

So, it sounds like you are right on target right now. So, steady as she goes!

Thx for the insight again MM!
WW and I have chatted before (over the summer) about the "what ifs"....she had actually commented that she would cry herself to sleep eveynight after the D....but would never tell if she regretted it!! She even commented about how her family did not approve. All these comments were during the A so who knows if any was fog talk or what not.

You guys are gonna laugh at this....I am home today after being at the urgent aid this morning. Last Wednesday while at work driving I sneezed real bad.....and popped a ligament in my ribs!! The pain wasn't so bad thurs and fri but over the weekend it got worse.
I got home last night after dropping off my cousins D and the pain was unbearable!! I asked WW to look at my ribs to see if there was a bruise or a bump or anything. When we were dating and first married WW was in the medical field so she is kind of a mini dr. I lay on my bed and take off my shirt and she starts poking around....of course she has to comment that I was just trying to get her to touch me. We start talking about where she is poking and where it hurts...we talk about me going to the urgent aid today.

I get up at regular time today and check and see when the place opens...6am. I figure I might as well get it over with so I head out after some coffee. She calls me at 6:45 says that she thought I was going to the dr and not going to work and that she hopes I feel better. I have not replied yet.

The normal parts are the ones I still want....of course last night while I was gone she was on the PC looking up "naughty" outfits....she even sent one of those "look at what I am looking at" emails to OM.

She has told me in the past...she never liked to play "dress up".....

WW had to find out yesterday.

She hasn't said anything directly to me....yet

She was very quiet overall and looked like a hurt/sad puppy

She made a comment about how I was on top of signing the kids report cards.

Comment about being on top of homework

Same thing about having dinner ready when she got home

I went to counseling last night and it went well. When I got home WW left to go to the gym....she left at 9:30 and got home about midnight.


D12 came into my bed after WW left. She said mom was sad all night. D12 does not want to live in a "little" house. I let her talk mostly and just listened. She is scared about the future. We watched TV quietly awhile in my bed and she went to bed about 10:30.

Just keep doing what you are doing. The next decisions have to be hers. She knows what she should do...she can even feel it now (which is why she is sad). But, she has to choose to do the right thing.

In the meantime, you be happy, keep moving your family forward...and of course, defend your boundaries.

WW made a few more comments last night....and I did not get sucked into anything!!

She commented how she was gonna take the girls to counseling tonite .....because I do it "all the time". I still will be picking them up because her IC appt is after the kids appt and at a different location.

She asked about my W2.....again.

W and the girls were supposed to go to the gym last night while I was at small group. D12 was not done with her homework by the time they were supposed to leave. D12 said to go without her.....W said she could not leave her home alone. They all stayed home while I was gone. W seemed a little POed by this.....D9 was a little sad too.

When I got home at 9:30pm (which is the time I say I will be home) WW looked like a sad puppy again.

All of her comments are things that were addressed in the temp custody papers....so she has to know about the papers.

I am still trying to stay one step ahead on the legal front. I need to firgure out what to tell my attorney in regards to my exposure letters/emails.
I have to presume my Ws lawyer will bring them up and I want to give her as much info as possible.

As far a "dirt" on me that is about all they have....she called the cops on me one day but I think I have that one figured out.

Any advice?

What's wrong with just saying that you decided you wanted to get her back, so you figured that wouldn't happen with a third person in the marriage, so you went and told everyone you know who could help you talk WW into coming back home. Sounds pretty wise to me.

I'm sure MB won't mind if you pretend to have thought it all up by yourself.

Wise? Yes!

Desperate?

Couldn't a good lawyer just spin that as loving your wife and being willing to take her back no matter what she's done to you, and wanting nothing more than your family back together?

Just tell her where you got the idea: Dr. Williard Harley, clinical psychologist and founder of Marriage Builders. He advises exposure to save the marriage since adulterous affairs thrive on secrecy. Exposure ruins the fantasy of the affair and is like chemotherapy to cancer. You did it to defend your marriage and your children's family from her adulterous affair.

Its not a "desperate act" but a strategic act designed to defend your marriage from her affair.

Thx Cat and Mel

I am just trying to stay ahead and your guys help is great!!

So....WWs lawyer says.....your honor mr carp filed for D and the did all this 2 months later!! Mr Carp is just a vindictive evil ......

I am trying to think all "Law and Order" about this...am I going to far??



(insert joke here Mel...).

and then your lawyer says...Mr Carp was trying to salvage his family and marriage by ending WW's affair. WW's adulterous behavior is harmful to his children and destroys the family unit. Mr. Carp does not want his daughters subjected to immoral and disgusting behavior. It's his duty as a father to protect his children and sadly their mother is the person they need protection from. WW has lied enough for everyone. Mr. Carp isn't going to be party to more lying so that Mrs. Carp can feel better and pretend her behavior is acceptable.