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Now do you think that he will get discouraged if he thinks someone else is in the picture. I mean I dont want him to give up either.... I doubt it.
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Ark had a post once about appearing like you are moving on. As I recall, she suggested buying yourself flowers and putting in a vase, ask friends to save their used ticket stubs and leave lying by the sink, new lingerie hanging somewhere, notations on calendar, brochures for a cruise, you get the idea.
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These ideas ROCK!!! Wow the cell phone one.... truly diabolical! Heeheehee...
About having him fix the sink, that's great cus that was something he liked doing so much in Plan A... unless that makes it a nono in PB but IMHO it would bring up all sorts of good memories and feelings... and then he'd see evidence that he may be running out of time...
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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just wondering... is he still refusing to communicate through the IMs?
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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That, I thought was your point. The guy could be a contractor. I'm giving you my hard core best ideas...jeeze. Speaking of hard core: Scenario #2. the kids go with their father to the mall on visits, right? well in the next few weeks... Buy a Victoria's Secret gift card. Give it to your daughter. Tell her you got this is a gift (a gift of advice from me) Get the gift card with the sexyist picture on it. and tell your DD the store was "way too crazy" and "over the top" for you and you were shy and not sure about buying anthing there. Tell her you noticed cute, cute stuff in the PINK Store-- and she is welcome to use/have your gift card (on the visit with WH, of course) Tell her SHE can use it, you think in the PINK store. Have her ask her DAD if he knows if she can use the card there.  (cute shirts, pants, stuff there....not all undies) Believe me, DD will not care WHO it came from, but she will LOVE to get PINK clothing- if she is like any teenager here. I'm sure this will all come out in the trip to the mall. Let your WH wonder WHO gave you this card, and why would you reject it from the gifter.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Oh yeah, am I dumb- do this the weeks before Valentines Day.
--hello, Nan-
The point is, you don't want to be really obvious, you want to appear as if you are being coy. Hence phone calls at night and ..when kids are not around-
...giving racy gift card over so DD can buy teen items.
Last edited by barbiecat; 01/29/09 01:38 PM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Okay going to get brochures today. Called them already and they are gathering them for me.
The great thing is he knows i have asked for half of the tax return because I want to take kids on a cruise or trip or something. So if he comes and sees them out it will just verify what I have asked.
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Ark had a post once about appearing like you are moving on. As I recall, she suggested buying yourself flowers and putting in a vase, ask friends to save their used ticket stubs and leave lying by the sink, new lingerie hanging somewhere, notations on calendar, brochures for a cruise, you get the idea. Okay I'm on it. Gonna put out feelers for ticket stubs today. Brochures I pick up in a few hours. DD17 and I are going to hang pictures of our 2 day trips we have taken to the Griffith Observatory and Getty museum. LOL Ok he knows I always hang my clothing that i do not dry above my bathroom door on hangers. Some of the lingerie he has not seen because I bought it just before the A, so I can hang that baby up. When he uses the restroom he will pass my room and its a clear shot.
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Shame were not going to be there till march.
Flick is a trained broadcaster, was in radio for 12 years and he has a gorgeous voice. I'm not just saying this cos he's my H either. He always scored well in the radio survey's.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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barbiecat, your ideas are brilliant. I was ROLOL. Love the cell phone msg.
Also liked the cruise brochures, make sure they are the ones that run "single cruises", that will make him pause.
Another idea, you can do it through the IM's. Next weekend is the dreaded Valentines Day, pass a message to H "saying thank you for the beautiful flowers but are you sure they are for me or were they meant for DD17". When he responds to either D17 or IM, just say -- never mind I was mistaken...then let H wonder who sent flowers to his wife.
T2L, first you mentioned you were worried about GPS being on your cell. Check your "blue tooth" and see if it was activated without you using it. That is one way he could have set it up to track you.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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just wondering... is he still refusing to communicate through the IMs? Yes. And Yes he has the hero complex I think and needs much AD so he likes doing things around the house for me...well at least now he does before I was a nag for asking. Okay DD17 told her dad that mom snapped at us(which I have because if water goes down drain i have to clean it up) at us because we keep putting water in the sink. Well guess what he responded to her within 5 minutes. DD17 said I told dad that the sink was broke and he wants to know if he should come fix it and I told her to say IDK I'll ask her I think she can get it done on warranty but its more expensive, Im not sure I think its hard for her to see you I will ask her. So what now? Send something through IM's about the sink??? But I need a day or so to get the tickets and pictures up too.
Me-39 H-38/Married 19years/DD18 & DS10
Dday EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08
Moved in w/Sea Hag 08/01/08
Read SAA Sept 08 Plan A 10/03/08 thru 11/15/08
Plan B 11/15/08-currently
01/18/09 Plan B crack w/phone call restating PBL
01/31/09 Planned brief contact
02/15/09 Delivery of Planned 2nd PBL
Filed for D Dec 2009 Recovering well!
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Let's see, there are lots of reasonable cruises going from near you to the Mexican Riviera. Also check out Club Med brochures.
A little dreaming won't hurt you either.
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You could have some "Trash the Dress" photos done and leave them laying around.  Actually, the logic behind it makes sense. Most brides who wear their wedding dress never plan on wearing it or another one again. "Trashing the dress" is the latest thing. Boy, wouldn't WH wonder what was up with THAT? Here's a link about it if you don't know what I'm talking about: Trash the Dress
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Flick is a trained broadcaster, was in radio for 12 years and he has a gorgeous voice. I'm not just saying this cos he's my H either. He always scored well in the radio survey's. ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh....... Is there *any* way possible to put his voice on the phone? Cus, wow... just think, he knows there are visitors coming from NZ... then to hear a sexy male voice IN A KIWI ACCENT... 
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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WHY FAKE IT to try and game play, impress and fool your husband that you are now "independent" or "wanted".
Why not become truly independent and start developing a LIFE for yourself and the kids apart from him!
Dont talk about him, dont think about him, dont do anything about him.
Just get your own life going so that you are happy.
YOU DESERVE A GOOD LIFE!!!
Last edited by Stellakat; 01/29/09 02:18 PM.
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WHY FAKE IT to try and game play, impress and fool your husband that you are now "independent" or "wanted".
Why not become truly independent and start developing a LIFE for yourself and the kids apart from him!
Dont talk about him, dont think about him, dont do anything about him.
Just get your own life going so that you are happy.
YOU DESERVE A GOOD LIFE!!! Took the words right outta my fingers, Stella. Charlotte ETA: You gotta watch stuff like that because then you're getting into..."Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive..."
Last edited by Dancing_Machine; 01/29/09 02:21 PM. Reason: added a line
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Yer prolly right but...
THIS is soooooo much FUN!!!!!!!!!!! *heeheehee*
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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well we can ring the phone and leave a message, but nothing suggestive tho.
Is there a way he could ring the machine and record something? Although as Flick has just pointed out that woudnt sound as good.
His suggestion in that he record something to the computer, e-mail it to T2L and she put the microphone of the answering machine next to the computer speaker and record the playback.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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You could have some "Trash the Dress" photos done and leave them laying around. Actually, the logic behind it makes sense. Most brides who wear their wedding dress never plan on wearing it or another one again. "Trashing the dress" is the latest thing. Boy, wouldn't WH wonder what was up with THAT? Here's a link about it if you don't know what I'm talking about: Trash the DressI love my gown. My children love my gown...and I've plans for my grandbabies christening outfits to be made of the brocade. I could never... Not even if we split up... Never ever...
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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T2L, just go online to clubmed.com or sandals.com and print out some of their material at home.
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