The restoration, or I rather say, the rebuild of this relationship has been a long slow process. It hit the wall a year ago last September. In the course of it falling apart I admitted to having had an affair. I knew it would complicate matters to admit an affair that happend many years ago, but I needed to have her know that there were serious problems, and I wanted her to have the opportunity to make a decision to stay knowing all.
We discovered this program, she showed it to me having searched the web for info. I read the book and asked her to consider reconciling with the agreement that we would aggressively follow this program.
I had the sense to see that if we were able to go where Dr. Harley showed us in his book it would be a wonderful thing.
She has been really unhappy at attempting this.
Keep in mind, at least a year later we are still working on it, and it has gotten a lot better. Never-the-less, about 4 months ago she asked that we quit using this program.
I think she felt that I was using it against her. We were on the chapter of honesty when she requested that we quit using this.
She felt that I was using stuff like writing down when she accused me of stuff (one of my pet peeves. I get so tired of her accusations. She accuses me of stuff that I dont have a clue about, like she says I insist that she be a stepford wife. We are so removed from that world. Though her grandmother and my mother were classic stepfors wives.
We are seeing a therapist (a student at the local university's family and marriage counceling center.)
I guess I am looking to vent. Any suggestions would be apprciated.