That's cool. I was just trying to figure out the dynamics in your house, with both of you knowing that one of you is going to be gone in a short time, and whether the kids were undergoing any stress with the involvement of another man in the situation. Do the kids know there's going to be a separation?

I personally do not tell my kids ANYTHING about the legal stuff!! I always tell them I am making the best decisions I can for our family.

OM stress....D12....tons...D9....not so I think.

Seperation?? They know we are in a divorce situation...but again it doesn't come from me.

WW has been super parent last couple of days. Today she emailed me first with all sorts of kid related stuff!!

Day late and a dollar short if you ask me....

I think tonite I am gonna gonna go out....and live life a bit!

Of course not too much....

Found my WWs impromtu journal. I took photos of all the entries. She even mentions her OMs name!! She copied all this stuff and faxed it to her attorney.

Couple examples.

6-12 confrontation...this was the day I learned about the A

7-14 called in early am from airport bathroom talking about suicide. Referred him to seek counsel

12-6 threatened to show up at my company Xmas party on the 13th

About 15 entries like this. Looks like I got some work to do.

I'm confused. Can you elaborate on what she was talking about, or is that too personal? The OM was threatening suicide? The OM was going to show up at HER party? confused...

Not OM me.

It's amazing how a conv about braces can go bad.
WW wasn't even going to tell me the Orthos name!! I knew the day and time...she said if I am the "primary" caregiver...I should know!

She then brought up another bullet point in the temp custody papers.

She asked me if I knew who a doctor she took our D9 too was.....8 years ago!!
I told her the past is the past.....I did not know the dr but I could find out....this made her mad!

I told her we were partners at the time...she didn't ask me about lawnmowers, oil changes, brake jobs, fixing stuff around the house.

I told her the conv was pointless....the past is done and I am only getting better day by day.

She said my "list" of good things I did/do over the last 3 weeks won't make a difference!! 3 weeks....LOL.

I used MMs line about her being angry and me making the best decisions for our family....she said she was doing the same!!

I used a little reverse babble on her....that shut her down pretty quick.

You should have told her, that a good parent, primary or not would never w/hold medical information from the other parent.

I am tired of telling her anything!!

I am off work today so I am gonna work on my responses to her "list".

There are a couple entries that talk about me "spying".

One is over the summer where I saw OMs car at the condo WW was staying at.
She even put that in her entry! Spied on me and OM at condo...that's how it reads. A few of her entries refer to OM.

How do you guys think I should reply to "spying" or "snooping" entries?

Trying to remember all this crap sux!! Every single thing she has listed I have fixed.....paying bills late.....or has to directly do with her affair!! Why would a person send stuff to their attorney admitting to an affair!?!?

Talked to my lawyer earlier. Told her about the "list" and how I am answering all the points ahead of time. The one thing that her and I laughed about.....is my Ws attorney stupid?? Or does he not like my W? Why would he tell the "enemy" about their plans??

Back to work for me.....anyone have any suggestions for my above questions lemme have them!!

Just left my C appt.

C was asking me how I would feel with a 50/50 arrangement....I told her the way things are rite now....I don't think so.

I asked....why is it ok for a dad to be EOW.....but not a mom?

We only touched on this briefly.

She asked me what my preffered outcome to all this would be....I told her to have a "whole" family again. It would be alot of work on my WWs part....I don't see it happening though. She asked my second choice.....just to have WW out!!

I am having problems how/what to tell my kids if/when this temp thing goes my way....tell the kids it was the judges decision?? l

I would tell the kids the truth. That in a perfect world, their parents would be together, but in this case, both parents want them all the time! So you're working out the best situation for the kids cos you both love the kids so much.

If I were you, on that list, I would point out - every time a question refers to an affair-related situation, "I did XYZ in an attempt to win my wife back from the man she was having an affair with." Just keep repeating that for every question.

Thx for the input Cat. I am thinking about not telling them anything rite now.....things are hard enough for them rite now.

Good thoughts on the affair related points. Most of the stuff I worked on today has alot of that type of verbage in it.

No. Tell them the truth! That their mothers adultery has hurt the family so you are taking steps to protect your family. Those kids need to see that the world does not work in the warped, sick, wayward manner they have been taught at home, where the mother moves in the guest room, announces she is "separated" and commences to cat around like an alley cat in heat......right in front of her own kids! Adultery, adultery, adultery, is cruel, immoral and ..............intolerable!

If they don't get that message loud and clear they will grow up to be little cheaters themselves. It is a horrendous thing to be taught that wrong is right by your parent.

Thx for the input Mel.

I am off work again today....stupid economy!!
At least I have small group tonite....I need al the help I can get.

WWs email late yesterday read like "disneyland mom" stuff for the week.

When I go back home after everyone leaves I will post up some of my replies to WWs "list".

What list? From her answer to your filing?

Why do you have to go over any of this, Carp? Shouldn't your attorney be doing this? Is there a reason you would want to debate with a falling down drunk about what kind of parent you are?

Mel

The "Matlock" in me found a list she was compiling to use to file for temp
Custody herself! I took photos of every page.....I am answering them before she even submits them!! The replies are not for her.

Gotcha! Good idea..

What EOW?

Tellm the kids the truth. Simply state that their mom is married to you but decided to have a boy friend.

I don't understand your question??

My kids know about OM. I am just trying to prepare myself when/if this temp custody thing goes my way.

here is my response to one of the points on my WWs list

i called her on this day and was very sad. Thoughts of suicide were on my mind.



7-16-2008

1 week after my wife and I exchanged long letters about working things out in our marriage.

On Friday July 11th W and I exchanged letters stating what we both wanted to do to repair our marriage. The week proceeding this was very emotional for both of us as a lot of the details of her and OMs affair were coming out and being talked about.
I felt we were turning a corner and W was coming back to our family.


July 11-13 was a weekend. W and I spent a lot of time together. We went out for dinner, BBQ, and drove down to see her grandpa as a family.

On the 14th she was back in contact with OM. By the 16th my mind was in such a bad place. How could she be doing this still to our family? I was very depressed and did call her to tell her how I felt. We talked for awhile and she reassured me things would be fine. I was working at the airport and was sitting on the employee bathroom floor while talking to her. The thoughts of "ending it all" did cross my mind. I called my employer and told them I was not well and was going home. I did make an appt to seek counseling.