Good question on the income dropping. I'm not sure as it has not happened yet.

I doubt I could get custody based on misdemeanor driving offenses. No endangerment to the kids and the courts here are not inclined to change things. My lawyer said I'd spend a fortune with almost a zero %chance of winning.

But, my 10 year old has already told me she may want to live with me when she is 12 and the court will listen to her desires.The attorney I used is highly respected here. It's just not like folks think in terms of a man getting custody from a stay at home mom. Unless she is abusing or neglecting the kids, they just will not do it.

She works, now. So, she has plenty of money.I do, too, actually.
But, the thing that still amazes me is how she still refuses to talk to anyone about her cheating.

I'm with MIM.

She's nuttier than squirrel poo.

Reminds me alot of my Sister in Law. She's been cheating on my brother for years. Total nutcase...inbreeding I think. Serious mental deficiencies, prescription drugs,2 DUI with child endangerments charges within a one week period, fell in the closet and claimed my brother "beat her up" and had him arrested, her brother committed suicide via methadone but she sees him all the time and talks to him all the time and moves things around in their house, etc., claimed she was "raped" and went to hospital and called another guy besides my brother to come get her, she is a frequent flyer at the ER in our hometown. It just goes on and on and on and they have a 13 year in the house having to live through all this crap. Don't understand what happens to people like this to make them this way. And, of course, she won't own up to anything... Really sad.

Zelmo,

What state do you live in? What is your custody arrangement right now?

She's not a SAHM and you could likely get a 50/50 deal if you filed.

Find a different attorney. There's plenty there for you to file for a change. I would file within the day if my exww was arrested for anything.

You could get a representative for your kids and they often listen to what the kids want. Your daughter may not have to wait till she's 12.

Protect those kids.

And don't write off all women. It sounds like you were married to Satan Spawn.

Which reminds me:

A crowd was sitting in an auditorium one day when all of a sudden the devil appeared in front of everyone, spewing fire and yelling and scaring the heck out of everyone. The crown panicked and all ran for the gates. All but this old man who simply stared at the devil, looking bored.

So the devil upped his display to scare him. He screamed louder and shot flames out of his hands and the guy still just sat there, looking at him bored.

Finally, the devil gave up and went up to the old man.

He said, "What gives? Aren't you afraid of me?"

The old man said, "Nope."

The Devil continued, "Well, don't you know who I am?"

The old man looked at him, and very plainly said, "Yeah. I know who you are. I've been married to your sister for years."

Zelmo, you been divorced two years?

Your wife hit the freaking jackpot.

Guess what, your evidence don't mean squat now.

Why are you here?

Guess what, P. I don't owe you any answers. ***edit***

$2400 is 35% of my net, P. So, I am doing fine. My standard of living has improved.

***edit***

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***edit***

Pariah,

You're out of line. I'm still on this forum after 3 years. I'm here to help others and to process what happened to me and to connect with those with similar experiences.

What you said to Zelmo is a low blow and uncalled for. Many of us here can also say that our ex waywards are happy now.

Doesn't make what they did any less painful or wrong.

Let's keep it respectful folks.

Thank you.

Zelmo, as rich as you are, why are you not out hiring the meanest bulldog attorney in the country to get your kids away from her?

Your words don't add up. She is handcuffed and taken away, and yet you have no chance to get your kids because you have driving offenses? Did you kill someone while drunk or something? I can think of no other thing that would make you ineligible to get the kids.

My guess is you LIKE being free from the responsibility and being free to be a single guy again. And making yourself out to be a huge martyr.

What's the truth?

Cat,

His XW is the one who was arrested, not him.

I also don't think he's looking to be a martyr.

It's not an easy decision to continue or go back to litigation. It's very high stress and risky with no guarantee of victory.

My ex spent close to $80k and had not one but two attorneys.

It didn't do her much good. Clients, not lawyers, win cases.

Her attorney (the one that took the lead) is a real [censored] and a bulldog like you describe. But it didn't work. She fought and fought and fought and ended up much worse off than if she had accepted one of the many offers I made.

So constantly going to court isn't the solution and it takes its toll on the kids because the parents are very, very stressed.

I'm a lot more at peace now than I was a few months ago and I would have to really, really think about going back to court right now despite the fact that there's much about the current arrangement that I don't like.

Zelmo,

I'm glad you are here as financial consequences is also part of the trauma of infidelity.

Getting an overall picture of what happened may help. If the kids comes over to stay with you, hopefully some of that money comes back.

I don't view myself as a martyr. But, there is a sense of relief in getting away from my XW, who was abusive.
I just think I need more to contest custody than her being arrested for driving after suspension offenses.

I am an attorney and in court a lot. I see how judges view this stuff. It simply is not important to them. Misdemeanor driving offense will make no impression IMO. Heck, infidelity, which to me is a greater offense, makes no difference.

My oldest has mentioned that she would like to live with me when she is 12. I believe courts listen to the kids around that age.

I was and still am very involved with my kids. I work two jobs and am not out and about enjoying the swinging single life. I am trying to make enough $$ so they can go to college and not have to work their way through and go at night, as I did. So, the charge that i am just enjoying the single life and playing martyr is not true.

I have never been arrested. You are mixed up on that.

You said at another post that you don't see yourself get married. Is this true?

I really cannot imagine trusting someone enough to get married again. But, maybe this will change with time.